Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Sway of the Tides

When asked what I can't live without, I instantly thought of the ocean. Aside from things that need not be mentioned... like my husband, my family, my dog, my arms-legs-every-body-part, etc... I cannot live a full life without the ocean.

When I was little, my brother and I would walk to school. School is about a half-mile from the house. We lived closer to the mountain. The main street leading to the highway goes from the mountain to the ocean. I never really appreciated that initial view of the ocean when I was little but I certainly do now. The significance of its presence increases as I age.

As a child, the view of the ocean, the sound of the ocean, the power of the ocean were static images and white noise to fill my senses. I realize that the sights and sounds have become the soundtrack of my life as the white noise and the static images that is/are always there/here; ever present; a constant image and a constant sound of my childhood, of my teenage-hood, of my adulthood. The ocean is the ever constant reminder of the place from which I sprang forth.

On many occasions I have been called to distant lands. From the desert landscapes of New Mexico to the flat, tornado-strewn lands of Kansas, the world has called me but I have always returned to the great wide expanse of the Pacific Ocean. I feel so trapped without sight of the ocean. I lose all my bearings, unable to recalibrate my emotional well-being without the watery horizon to center me. It is the white-noise in my world that holds my hand in difficult times and in times of happiness.

I think of the watery horizon when driving through miles of corn fields or miles of tumbleweed and long to see the sun rise from its depths in the morning and drop back into the ocean in the evening. It has been that way in the time of my ancestors and so shall it be after I leave this body behind. I find comfort in the fact that the ocean isolates me/us from the rest of the world. If you can cross it you will find me along its shores or upon its surface, floating toward FOREVER.

The ocean will always beckon to me and call me to its shores. In fantasy I can drift for eternity on the ocean, alone, just me and the sounds of the ocean. My ears will be submerged beneath the surface and my face will be exposed to the sun and the oxygen in the atmosphere. I float along in a dream-like trance FOREVER. The fluid envelops me, warms me, and places its giant hugs around me while I rock along with the sway of the tides.

Thursday, October 18, 2012

15 Relevant Facts

My most recent pic... me and the hubby on our staycation in WAIKS

15 Relevant Facts ABOUT ME:
1. I have totally OUTGROWN this tattoo on my right leg. A rash decision to get it done has pained me and left me with NOTHING but the opportunity to GRIN & BEAR IT. Yes, young people, this could be you in a few years -- regretting the tattoo. Don't do it! It's more original to NOT have any tattoos than it is to have tattoos. Exercise some restraint.

2. I joined Weight Watchers two weeks ago. My first week I lost 2.8 pounds. Later today will be my second week weigh-in. I hope I lost a pound or 2, even though 3 would be better. I am so inspired by Jennifer Hudson. Amazing! Those "I Believe in You and Me" commercials really has me going. Also, several of my co-workers have been talking about it for years and I'm finally giving in to it. Hopefully I can exercise some restraint on the amount of food I eat.

3. I am very impatient in my personal life but has patience for days at work. Is anyone else like that?

4. I am in serious need of a makeover. My hair really needs some work. I don't know why my husband is so infatuated with long hair. I mean, I get it but man -- he ain't the one taking care of it or having to fix it every morning. I been wanting to cut it real short... like a bob or something and he is not agreeing with me. BUMMERS!! We'll see though... if the opportunity presents itself, I'm ALL IN for cutting my hair short.

5. PET PEEVE of the moment: having a code of ethics and standards that everyone at work has agreed to; student, faculty and staff... and majority of them ARE NOT adhering to its policy. **sigh** DISCOURAGING.

6. I have a serious addiction to reading books on KINDLE. It is one of my most pleasurable activities of the day.

7. Lately I have such affection for country music. Blake Shelton tickles my fancy. LOL

8. I get extreme pleasure from working up a sweat in the yard. I love to weed and dig up the yard... cutting the grass with the week whacker and alllll that!

9. I have found affection for working up a sweat in the gym also. Elliptical is my best friend, as is the Stair Master!

10. Favorite outfit for work: black slacks, purple paisley top w/ purple crop sweater 3/4 length sleeve... easy!

11. I am looking for a dependable car to buy. More recent than 2004 and nothing higher than 50k mileage.

12. Favorite color lately::::: PINK, Fuschia... just makes me smile.

13. I miss having my husband work for DELTA... I wish he would go back so I can hop on a flight to anywhere in the world for minimal cost. I miss it!! Really -- I wouldn't mind going back to Japan for some tonkatsu... ahhhh... I miss the food in Japan!

14. I wouldn't mind if husband worked for Hawaiian Airlines. That wouldn't be too shabby either.

15. Until this morning, I hadn't touched coffee in a good two weeks. That's a record!

Story Dying to Come to Light

I think I'm ready to write a romance. It could be a story or a novel or it could be lifted from the pages of my journal. What I know is that I am beginning to come from beneath the heavy sadness of getting divorced (yes, I'm still talking about that nine years later) and losing my mother. I am discovering my heart again -- the thing that longs to love everything and everyone in an unconditional way.

Losing my mother has really put me in touch with my heart again. I interpret this experience as a call to take advantage of every moment with the people I love. Each moment with a loved one or even a stranger is the last and final moment; the one chance, the one second even if its a million seconds or a trillion seconds, that I get to express love.

Then there's the romantic love of my life; my husband. I don't know that there are many people who can deal with his bi-polarity. I joke about it often but really... there are no words to express the different tides that we ride together. We are the greatest of friends. Most times, I feel like he is my soul twin. He pushes me to grow in ways that I probably wouldn't have without his gentle nudges and outright shoves. I hope I push him to expand his horizons also.

Recently I read Beautiful Ruins. I still haven't quite figured out how I feel about it except that it's a story about many different love relationships unfolding/unraveling/coming together. It beckons one to see the similarities in his or her own life, that maybe you are part of a romance-in-the-making.

What I do know is that I'm ready to write Mr. Perfect into reality. I've talked endlessly about writing a book. I am leaning toward writing novels -- contemporary love stories with a Polynesian twist or a Polynesian adventure. Whatever it is, the story is dying to come to the light of day and one day soon I can say that I wrote a book.

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

The Covenant Keeper

Telesa - The Covenant Keeper by Lani Wendt Young... what a read!! This book is the first in the trilogy. **inhaling** It has consumed me. The Polynesian backdrop and themes make for really good entertainment; better than that, the story and the characters are endearing. The novel sits perfectly alongside its contemporaries - maybe Harry Potter, Twilight - appealing to a teenage, Young-Adult audience but equally entertaining for the mature reader. This book definitely fills the lack of fictional reading material for Polynesians.

At its core, Telesa is a LOVE STORY. It is a tale of magical love between Leila and Daniel. The story is set in beautiful Samoa but could be any Pacific island really. For non-Polynesian readers as well as our young Polys, there are small history lessons strewn upon its pages. As Polynesian societies become more and more colonized/globalized, we lose our identity. The hope is that we can retain some of what we have to pass on to the next generation. The stories we tell the future generations are important to keep the mana, the power, alive.

The author makes no claim that the cultural protocol is accurate, nor does she make any claim that the magic in the book is real. Chances are, though, that most Polynesians have a story about shamanistic magic that healed someone or caused someone death. And maybe part of the belief in the superstition keeps the magic alive, who knows?

Aside from the magic and back to the LOVE STORY -- Leila and Daniel remind me of the magic of love and the excitement of new love. It reminded me of how crazy I was about my husband when we first met. The magic of our instant attraction still amazes me today. It is easy to identify with the main character - Leila. Her feelings of being an outsider in modern America and finding her way to Samoa and realizing that Samoa felt more like home than anywhere in the world is beautiful.

You will fall truly, madly, deeply in love with Daniel as he is every girl's dream. He's courteous and respectful, kind, and driven by a sense of purpose. He is smart, musical, athletic, dare I say "the-boy-next-door". If you like the bad boy types, Daniel is not for you, which works out fine because the rest of us goody-two-show-lovers will gladly snatch him up. At the end of the book, the author posts pictures of the man she fashioned Daniel after. He DOES NOT DISAPPOINT... very, very easy on the eyes!

Go to Amazon and get Telesa: The Covenant Keeper now (just $3.99 for the Kindle App)! Happy reading!

Monday, October 08, 2012

ABOUT ME Rambling

I can't believe it's been more than a month since I last blogged. Ugghhh!!

A lot has changed, in a good way. I'm super excited to settle into my new job. Yes I have a new job. I feel confident that I am going to be where I am for a long time and that gives me great peace to be able to build my life. I'm not worried about my husband wanting to uproot every couple of years, which is usually the case.... he has surrendered! **evil grin**

We have discussed on many occasions leaving the islands. He seems restless most times but I know that this turn of events (me, getting this job) should give us some longevity in the islands.

We are in a good place. I am in a good place. So often, I contemplate the meaning of marriage. Why do we enter into matrimony when it means that we give up portions of our true selves to preserve the relationship? Husband and I have discussed on several occasions the idea of marriage, more particular OUR MARRIAGE, and why we're in it. This past June through August found us battling this same battle that started when we first married. Where should we live? Where should we lay down some roots?

I think the argument has finally buried it's evil head in the sand. Something just feels different about this time. I feel like we're ready to get to the LIVING of living. We are ready to be ALL IN... to settle down... maybe even have a family (a boy and a girl we be just fine for me). But even if we don't have children, I'll be fine too.

So anyway my new job came with a healthy pay raise and there's an annual pay raise right around the corner in January. WONDERFUL! I was bitter for about a month or so about not having been approved to get my lunch wagon rolling but I know that is not for me at this time. This job is for me at this time because it seemed to have just dropped into my lap. I'm so grateful.