Friday, September 30, 2011

I Miss You Mom

I'm really missing my mom right now. She has been on my mind all day. I wish she were here because she always knows just the right thing to say or do.

We didn't have enough time.

I miss her so much!

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Favorite Memory Pictured

I seem to blossom when I fall in love. I was 28-years old when I graffiti'd this. My favorite memory is falling in love with my husband. In a couple months we will make 8 years of marriage. Isn't that crazy?

Here we are, less than a month into marriage. Husband was getting ready to deploy to IRAQ and one night at the bar sounded like a good time. We did have a blast. It was cold and when we exited the club it was snowing everywhere! It was kind of magical.

This picture was of us... a month or two after we met. Both of us having just met up after a night on the town. He was with his fellas and I was with my BFF. Falling in love was and is so very magical.


This is my second year volunteering for The Haunted Lagoon. I had to get a shot of the clowns that were walking around the lagoon, waiting for darkness to fall. So that fairly represents what I did with my evening. Last year I was in the clown section as a Tech person controlling the sound and the strobe lights. It was fun. This year, I'm a little more involved.... kinda.

I'm "involved" but I don't feel as involved as I'd like to be. The area I'm in is just.... BORING at this point. Tonight was the first dress rehearsal in preparation for the September 30th debut. We have a long ways to go before 9/30. I'm not at all impressed with what we have so far. If I were truly in charge, it would be totally different. So I'm in the zombies and mummies section. Right now, everything is so random. No scares... just a collection of things to "look" at... kinda like a museum. BORING! I want to be part of the solution so I sent an email out to the person in charge. She's probably totally irritated with my eval but it had to be said. If I'm going to claim that I am a part of this then I need to tell the truth about what I feel. The truth is.... I MISS YOU CLOWNS!!! ahahahahaha

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Cast of My Favorite Show

Photo Credit
Day 3 picture challenge is to POST the cast of my favorite television show. Project Runway is it. Tim Gunn and Heidi Klum are the picture of class and sass. The reality shows have taken the television world by storm. Most often I find that I prefer the reality stuff -- HGTV, Food Network, America's Next Top Model, PROJECT RUNWAY. :-)

The situation-comedies and the dramatic lifetimeTV genre is old and tired! Although a close second to Project Runway is Drop Dead Diva. I think both shows appear on LifetimeTV. Anyway -- thanks to DVR I don't have a problem missing my shows.

Photo Credit

Monday, September 12, 2011


Day 02 - A picture of the person you have been closest with the longest

 So here's my second photo. My dear cousin is like... like... we are like peas in a pod. I consider many of my friends and family very close including my husband. But this girl seems to be the constant. She was in the wedding line of my first wedding... was there when I got divorced. Was my roommate when I met my husband. Now, we're contemplating business together. My sister moved away to Washington with her birth family. Mahea's sisters moved away and they could probably rival the "closeness" but... THEY ALL MOVED AWAY! I wish they would all come back. LOL

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Pic + 10 Facts

I think this is one of the more recent pictures of me with my dear husband. This year makes 8 years of wedded bliss. Well... I don't know if it has been all blissful but our passion in our fights exist also in our love.

For this challenge, I am supposed to post a picture with 10 facts about myself. I am having the toughest time thinking up 10 interesting things about me. I mean, my life is strewn across this blog like a wide open book. I don't mind that everyone knows so much about me but it just makes me less of a mystery.

1. I am quite impatient. I've been that way since I was a child. It's weird how I've just noticed that about myself. With all the family that has been in and out of our house over the last couple of months, that feeling of impatience has really come forward. My sister was here and it was so refreshing to have her come and know exactly what needs to be done without me needing to tell her. My impatience with the rest of my family... **sigh**...was and is unnerving.

2. I feel like my creativity has been dormant for so long. That is my newest realization of self -- that I have let my creativity go to sleep. I look forward to dreaming big again and putting my creativity to full use. It's okay to believe that all things are possible.

3. I am thoroughly in love with my nieces and nephews. I can't even imagine what life would be like if I had my own children. In a conversation with my aunt a couple weeks ago, I told her that the biggest risk for me having children is that I know they would break my heart. In terms of children, my aunt and I identified that the "risk" of bearing children is not greater than the joy of becoming a parent.... and I'm ready. But I'll also be okay if I never do bear children. Either way -- I'm ready. :-)

4. I have a growing affinity for tea and coffee. It's true! My father tells me that his grandparents drank coffee often. I think that "memory" has been passed down through genetics because my father loves it too and I just recently found out that my niece likes it too. Go figure. Due to religious upbringing, coffee is frowned upon. For whatever reasons they are, I can't call it. I love the taste. I love to sip on a hot drink usually all day long and hot water just doesn't do it for me. Tea -- I have several different varieties. If I'm relying on my "genetic memory" theory then I suppose I can credit my Chinese ancestors for this. In many Asian cultures, tea and the service of tea is an art form. I love the different flavors that come from different teas and herbs, both sweet and savory.

5. I love the sunshine AND the rain! Septembers in Hawai'i are absolutely gorgeous. Blue, blue, blue skies and white puffy clouds, turquoise oceans and white sand beaches. Even with all of this beautiful weather, I still love the rain. I love how green everything is after the rain. The air is clean and crisp and everything springs into life. Water, any kind of water is just so cleansing. My life is similar to this because I appreciate the good times and the bad times... all are lessons.

6. I sometimes think I may have Attention Deficit Disorder... lol. Often times, especially when I'm sitting in a lecture, I need something else to do besides listen to the lecture. If there's wifi available, I fire up my laptop and get busy blogging (this is what I'm doing right now) or working on something. No wifi? I break out my journal and start writing or my sketchbook and start sketching. Journal not available? Text! I am this way even if I'm sitting in a church service. I find that I learn so much more when my hands are engaged. In a class I took I found out that this is quite normal and many learners fall under this category.

7. Just a few years ago, I hated the color pink. Now it has become my FAVORITE color. I don't like the pastel pink. I like HOT PINK, FUSCHIA, MAGENTA... the hot stuff! I have several blouses and dresses and jackets that are pink, pink, pink.

8. I just recently discovered a youtube converter that converts videos into an mp3. I absolutely love it. Some of my favorite songs that can't be found on itunes or amazon can be found on youtube. So grateful for the brainiacs on the planet who think up this stuff.

9. I used to read a novel every week or two. That has dropped off significantly but since the closing of Borders Books, I was able to pick up some novels at a bargain price. Sometimes mindless fiction is such a stress reliever!

10. Something else that I have discovered about myself is that I have an oral fixation. I think that is what made smoking such a normal part of my day. I kicked tobacco about 5-1/2 years ago. I will never go back! I have replaced smoking with gum and sometimes sunflower seeds. I also like to munch during lectures (see #6).

Monday, September 05, 2011

An Ode to a Love Gone Away

Making love was like, was like....

An emotional roller coaster.

the moment you decided to walk away, we pretended as if our relationship was not ending
but i knew that it was

No amount of making love was going to bring your heart back to me

And whatever time you needed away from me was only going to hasten our relationship to its grave

the love that i felt was unlike anything I have ever felt before or will ever feel again because
you were

you are the only man to ever capture my heart with such ferocity
in that way that only a first love can

i think about you all the time
when we met
how i fell so hard for your body and your mind
how i felt so safe with you, so protected
how you cradled me through one of the most difficult times of my life
how you loved me
how i loved you

In the final days before you set our relationship aside
we made love on our living room floor
And as you climaxed
the tears fell from my eyes
and i felt my heart break for the very first time
and i knew that wherever your heart was
it was not with me

your love has gone away
and i will miss you all the days of my life

Thursday, September 01, 2011

Lack of Creativity

Since I am lacking in the creativity department these days... mostly due to my mother's passing, I thought I'd find something to try and get me blogging again. This photo challenge seems appropriate. **heavy sigh** So here it is... hopefully I can get through September. Should be interesting... At least it will get me behind the camera lens again and blogging as well.

Day 01 - A picture of yourself with ten facts
Day 02 - A picture of the person you have been closest with the longest
Day 03 - A picture of the cast from your favorite show
Day 04 - A picture of your night
Day 05 - A picture of your favorite memory
Day 06 - A picture of a person you'd love to trade places with for a day
Day 07 - A picture of your most treasured item
Day 08 - A picture that makes you laugh
Day 09 - A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most
Day 10 - A picture of the person you do the most ****** up things with
Day 11 - A picture of something you hate
Day 12 - A picture of something you love
Day 13 - A picture of your favorite band or artist
Day 14 - A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without
Day 15 - A picture of something you want to do before you die
Day 16 - A picture of someone who inspires you
Day 17 - A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently
Day 18 - A picture of your biggest insecurity
Day 19 - A picture and a letter
Day 20 - A picture of somewhere you'd love to travel
Day 21 - A picture of something you wish you could forget
Day 22 - A picture of something you wish you were better at
Day 23 - A picture of your favorite book
Day 24 - A picture of something you wish you could change
Day 25 - A picture of your day
Day 26 - A picture of something that means a lot to you
Day 27 - A picture of yourself and a family member
Day 28 - A picture of something you're afraid of
Day 29 - A picture that can always make you smile
Day 30 - A picture of someone you miss