Fare Thee Well Ms. Angelou

I grew up on a small island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. In the 80's, in my family and friends circle, Maya Angelou was not a familiar name. However in my house, after I saw this episode of A Different World, Maya transformed into my favorite author. These were the days before DVR where you actually had to watch an episode at its scheduled time. Well, I take that back. If you had a VCR or Betamax, you could certainly program it to record your favorite shows. Of course, video cassettes only lasted 2-4 hours and if you had the most recent model, you could probably even get up to 6 hours of video play.

This episode centers around a college classroom where they are practicing Public Speaking. Their assignment is to give their own eulogy. Right at about 11:45 into the episode, Josie gets up and she talks about her aunt giving her a book "that changed her life" and it was a volume of Maya Angelou poems. Josie mentions "Still I Rise" being the one poem that made her want to be a poet. Just the title, "Still I Rise," made this Pacific Island girl so curious about this poet, Maya Angelou.

I was probably in the tenth grade when this episode aired. The internet was a couple of years away. Google was at least a decade away, which meant the research to find Maya Angelou had to be done at a bookstore or the public library. I think the public library was just moving to a LINUX type database. The mouse and the operating system that required the mouse was probably in its infancy at this point. We had to use the regular card catalog where everything was arranged by the Dewey Decimal system. Libraries still use the Dewey Decimal system but it's so much easier to search a database by using keywords rather than trying to find it by topic. Now, I can search, order, and reserve stuff at the public library from my SmartPhone. I use it liberally. I can download audiobooks to my phone and kindle books. Technology is amazing but I relish my childhood experiences in the library. Times have surely changed.

Whenever I went to the mall with my parents, I headed straight to Waldenbooks. It was located where PacSun is currently located. If you looked out the bookstore and across the common areas, McDonalds was on the right and Tilt arcade was on the left. I had no desire to be at the arcade, I was much more comfortable browsing the aisles of Waldenbooks.

On the weekend after watching this episode, I had one mission alone and it was to find a Maya Angelou book. The only book they had from her was in the young adult section, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings. It was a paperback and I begged my parents to buy it for me. Having what I think was a perfect childhood, my world was shattered when I read that book. The heart break, the pain, the heaviness of what she wrote only made me more in love with her words. How she conveyed so much emotion with words is still so very magical to me. My freshmen year in college, all my ENGLISH 101 essays were inspired by her poetry. Caged Bird was definitely my favorite back then.

I honor you dear Maya. I pray that in another lifetime our paths will cross and we will exchange beautiful poetry. All it took was a short thirty second blurb on a TV show to turn me into a fanatic. Thank you for your magic. It has truly inspired me. While others are familiar with your popular works:
Alone
Still I Rise
Phenomenal Woman
On the Pulse of Morning

I, on the other hand, in my fiery young adulthood was always a fan of To A Husband. Farewell Ms. Angelou. I pray your new birth is as magnificent as this one has been. May your words transcend time. Fare thee well.


To A Husband

Your voice at times a fist
          Tight in your throat
Jabs ceaselessly at phantoms
          In the room,
Your hand a carved and
          Skimming boat
Goes down the Nile
          To point out Pharaoh's tomb

You're Africa to me
          At brightest dawn.
The Congo's green and
          Copper's brackish hue,
A continent to build
          With Black Man's brawn.
I sit at home and see it all
          Through you.

They Met on Blackplanet

Former mistress of attempted murder suspect testifies

Oh my goodness... they met on Blackplanet. A couple of years ago this guy meets a woman on Blackplanet. Guy is married. Woman doesn't know at first but eventually finds out about his true marital status. Guy's wife ends up beaten in her bed and dies a year and a half later without any recollection of the events. So the guy is on trial for attempted murder. His former mistress shows up to testify in the case.

This kind of story doesn't usually interest me except that.... well... THEY MET ON BLACKPLANET. Before I started a blog, I was a regular on Blackplanet. It was my way of blogging. I'd change up my page daily to reflect my thoughts. I was in an unfulfilled marriage (the first one), separated from the 1st husband, and totally desperate to be relevant.... at least relevant to HIM. So I expressed myself on my BlackPlanet page with the username NEENALOVE. That is still my "call name" now (come find me on Words With Friends).

I was a regular in many of the chatrooms and made tons of friends from across the United States both male and female. I also had a few flings... wanna read about one of 'em CLICK HERE!! I have met some downright dirty men from Blackplanet and a few precious gems.

One horror story: dude wants to take me to lunch. We have never met except for our passing notes back and forth on the net and the eventual exchange of our phone numbers. When we finally do meet up he looks NOTHING like his photo. Serious! I was super disappointed. On top of that he was really touchy-feely. A few conversations on the phone did not give him the right to be so touchy-feely! Eeeeew. On top of that, he was not as attractive as his photo was. **sigh** We ended up at Ward Center where I opted for McDonalds. I just couldn't do an entire hour with him. We never spoke again except for a few notes on Blackplanet. The horror story part happens when he shows up at a barbecue with one of my best friends. What are the odds? In any case, he pretended like he didn't know me which upset her to no ends because she felt like he was trying to hide something. That was that.

Blackplanet was like MySpace. You could fix up your page using simple html. Embed photos and videos and all kinds of fun stuff. I shut down my page when husband and I married. No matter how much I try to say that I treated BP like a blog, it was nothing more than a site to pick-up guys for me so it had to go once I committed to my husband.

Anyway -- the news story about the attempted murder brought back so many memories. It seems like a lifetime ago. I just remember the excitement of meeting new people. The romance! The wining and dining.

Music and Me

Challenge #9: If stranded on a deserted island, and could only bring one music album with you, which would it be? What is it about this music that never gets old for you?

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My favorite music album changes as I age. Every time I think I have found the definitive album that matches me so perfectly, I hear something else that blows my mind away.

When I was young and single and fresh out of high school, the ABOVE THE RIM Soundtrack would have been the album for me. Why would anyone pass up SWV, H-Town, 2Pac, and Tha Dogg Pound? Now, I still enjoy that particular album but my taste in music continues to evolve. Back in 1998/1999 era, I would have said that KIRK FRANKLIN and any kind of gospel music was "it" for me. But as I stated before, my taste in music continues to change. Probably the best thing I could do is make a play list of some of my absolute MUST HAVE songs because just one album would not do it for me.

Song #1: I remember when I was five years old my cousin Nani (God rest her soul) used to play The Manhattan's Shining Star over and over again. Back then, we didn't have the convenience of a cd where all you do is go back to the beginning of a song. We had cassettes and you either had to press rewind to get back to the beginning of the song (it took a minute or two, literally!) or record the song over and over on the cassette until it ran out of space. Either way, it took some effort. That song is definitely imprinted in my mind and would be considered a song that I would want on a CD because of the memories associated with the song. Song #1 SHINING STAR

Song #2: My parents are fans of Country-Western music. As a little girl, my father would put in his Glen Campbell 8-Track and we'd cruise down Kamehameha Highway, aboard our white impala (sixth generation) with red vinyl top and red interior. I can still remember singing, "..There's been a load of compromisin'/ On the road to my horizon/ But I'm gonna be where the lights are shinin' on me/ Like a rhinestone cowboy/ Riding out on a horse in a star-spangled rodeo..." Any Glen Campbell song will remind me of my father. But the one that makes me miss him even when he's right next to me is Wichita Lineman. I have to give it to country-music, the lyrics often tell a story that is not based solely on lascivious desire as is the case with some rap, some hip-hop, and some R&B. So song #2 is definitely WICHITA LINEMAN.

Song #3... comes from one of my favorite movies of all time. The Mirror Has Two Faces starring Barbra Streisand has the title song "I Finally Found Someone". That is a definite favorite. And if I'm imagining that I'm on a deserted island then I would want this song handy to remind me of this movie and what my life was like when I first seen it. The movie came out in 1996. I didn't see it until probably 2001 or 2002... the ex and I were separated. I was feeling very, very low -- doubting my reflection. Why didn't he love me? Am I unloveable? I went through a myriad of emotions mostly pointing to me feeling sorry for myself. The movie portrays Barbra as a frumpy single lady who marries the handsomest professor for all the wrong reasons... just for the sake of being married. HMMMM... sounded so much like my life at the time. To find out what happens... well... you have to watch the movie! SONG #3: I FINALLY FOUND SOMEONE.

Song #4 is an unlikely choice that ties into Song #3. It was another song that was featured on The Mirror Has Two Faces in a roundabout way. The song -- Nessun Dorma as performed by Pavarotti. As a child, I did not have access to things like ballet or opera so hearing this song was such an experience. I don't even know what the song is talking about but it comes from the opera Turandot. It is magnificent!

Song #5 ... this song OFTEN makes me feel homesick for somewhere beyond this earth. I don't know if folks can connect with that. I wrote about it before on here. It stimulates weird emotions... not weird meaning bad but like weird meaning new emotions and experiences. The song is by Christopher Cross, SAILING. The vibrations of this song is at the right level to reduce me to tears -- homesick.

Song #6 ... going in a totally different direction, one of the greatest rock songs for me comes from the classic late 80's rock band Guns-and-Roses. WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE. I love that song. I love Axel Rose. Not only is it a pumping, up beat song but it appears on the movie Lean On Me.... great memories.

Song #7 ...a rap classic PAID IN FULL by Eric B. and Rakim. The bass line and sound bytes are representative of the era of Yo! MTV Raps (at least for me, it is). I remember first hearing that song and seeing that video. I was/ am hooked. Current "pop hip hop" artists can't even touch the lyrical skills of old school rap masters like Rakim. His distinct voice coupled with his delivery and poetry -- no one can duplicate it. The quality of his voice is probably my favorite even to this day. (I like Dr Dre's voice also.) East Coast style rap was king before NWA hit the scene and when they did -- it was up in the air who ruled the rap waves.

Song #8 ...I NEED LOVE. L.L. Cool J was, in my opinion, the finest man I had ever seen when I was 12. I always imagined that he was rapping right to me when he did this song. I used to write down the lyrics over and over in my journal. Til this day, I can still rap the entire song. Goodness, it's been over 20 years. I amaze myself.

Song #9 ... SEPTEMBER by Earth Wind and Fire. That song makes me feel happy. I can just see myself waking up to this song if I were deserted on an island. It wakes me up and makes me feel a little nostalgic.... wishing for the carefree innocence of childhood.

Song #10 ...CLAIR DE LUNE composed by Claude Debussy and performed by 101 Strings Orchestra. This is my  most favorite classical piece of all time. It appears in a couple of Hollywood movies. Think of the end scene of Oceans 11, outside of The Bellagio, the water dances to this tune. It's used in Twilight. I've heard it was cut from a crane scene in the 1940 Disney Classic, Fantasia. I just love the good vibes I get from this song. The thought of being on a deserted island makes me think of the piano or the stringed instruments I will not hear for awhile.

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I think that's a pretty good playlist for now. I have eclectic taste in music. What can I say?

Of Mangos and Belly Aches

Seated beneath a mango tree on a bench built by my uncle is the first time I recall ever being sick to my stomach. Above me the mango tree’s large limbs branched out and extended high into the air. Many weeks before, the leaves were several shades of bright pinks with tiny blossoms. In a relatively dry season, the flowers would result in mangos so numerous that the branches would droop to the earth, heavy with fruit. If the spring and summer were particularly wet, there would be no fruit to enjoy, just a cool, shady spot to rest from the humidity of a Hawaiian summer. That summer, the first time I recall every being sick to my stomach, the mango tree was heavy with fruit. It was the summer that I turned six.

The mango tree sat at the edge of one of my grandmothers many gardens. Its large trunk supported the foliage that sat atop it and shook when the trade winds blew in from off the Pacific Ocean. Surrounding the mango tree were several different types of tropical plants and flowers and different fruit trees. Red ginger marked the border on the mauka end of the garden, along with Birds of Paradise and other types of ginger. Banana trees bordered the makai end. At the opposite border, across the mango tree, were several Tahitian Gardenia bushes. Their distinct, white flowers were a stark contrast to the vibrant shades of green upon its leaves. The delicate flowers are the size of the palm of my hand and its scent is so intoxicating.

In the center of the garden were more tropical flowers. The vision of plumeria trees laden with yellow and pink hues of blossoms clustered together was always a site to behold. It’s blossoming marked the beginning of summer. The fragrance, so captivating, always took my breath away. There were also rows and rows of ‘ilima plants. The ‘ilima flower is a shade of yellow-orange and is paper-thin and very delicate. At its fullest height, the shrub may reach four feet. Because it required hundreds of flowers to string together one lei, the ‘ilima lei even today, is a prized gift.

Summer break was often spent at “Gramma’s” house. She lived thirty minutes from where we lived. My father would drop off my brother and I at Gramma’s, early in the morning, as he made his way to work. It was almost always dark when we arrived. We would hurry in and sleep until the suns rays gently woke us. Before we could eat breakfast, my cousins that lived next door to Gramma would pick us up and we would head to the gardens on the property. Our main chore for the day was to pick all the flowers from the trees so that Aunty Iwa , my father’s sister, could string lei’s to be sold at the local florist. The older cousins picked the delicate ‘ilima and the flowers at the tops of the plumeria tree, while I was relegated to picking the good plumeria’s that had fallen to the ground. By 7 a.m. the flowers were picked, washed, and prepared for Aunty Iwa. We’d cover her living room floor with old newspapers and separate the flowers by type and color. By 9 a.m. Aunty Iwa would have several lei’s ready for market. More cousins would show up by mid-morning. Gramma and Aunty Iwa were the babysitters for all of us. I had not known then how difficult it must have been to keep eleven of us busy and fed everyday, all throughout the summer.

**Aunty Iwa and I in one of the gardens**
The typical Hawaiian summer was almost always full of blue skies, puffy white clouds, and moist, humid air. Sometimes the humidity was so heavy, so thick, that relief could only be found in the ocean. On those days, we’d walk to the beach with my Gramma leading the pack and the older cousins at the back, making sure that no one would get lost along the way. Rainy days we’d spend playing board games in the carport or playing hopscotch. We rarely ever spent any time in front of the television. There always seemed to be more important things to do like playing hide and seek in the gardens or touch football in Gramma’s large, dirt and gravel driveway. Sometimes my older girl cousins would take me to play school or bank or store. I was always stuck being the student or the customer, never the teacher, teller, or cashier. I remember once, we set up chairs to look like an airplane and we pretended we were stewardesses.

**Me, running down gramma's dirt and gravel driveway**
On the sunniest days, when all you could see for miles was the blue sky, and there was no respite from the blazing sun, we’d climb the giant mango tree to keep cool. The gentle breeze drowned out the sound of the mynah birds squawking. I imagine they were complaining about the humidity. On one particular day, the first time I ever felt sick to my stomach, I climbed midway up the tree. From my vantage point, I peeked into the adjacent garden and could see the large guava tree. Along the fence behind the guava tree were several passion fruit vines and along side the fence was a row of papaya trees. The mango tree was heavy with fruit that season and the limbs were beginning to bow. Certainly we didn’t want the limbs to break so it was necessary for us to relieve the tree of some of its fruit, even though they were green and unripe. I began picking the largest of the mangos and threw them to the ground. Whoever was on the ground collected the mangos and stowed them in buckets. By the end of the day, the mangos would be peeled, sliced, pickled, jarred then given away to the neighbors. There was always extra for the neighbors and any of Gramma’s visitors.

That day, my cousin had brought along a glass jar full of a dark liquid. He sat on the bench beneath the tree, pulled out his pocketknife and began paring the green mango. I watched him, from where I was perched in the mango tree, open the glass jar and slice the green mango into it. My other cousins gathered around him and watched him pare and slice two more mangos. He replaced the lid and they all took turns shaking the jar. After everyone had a turn, they opened the jar and began to eat the mango. It looked so delicious and refreshing and as my cousins ate, they made these noises indicating how much they were enjoying it. I climbed down and had my first taste of shoyu-mango. The dark liquid was made of soy sauce and brown sugar. It was so scrumptious. I imagine that the combination of salt, sweet, and the tartness of the unripe mango pleased every taste bud on my tongue. Also, the obvious delight on everyone’s face added to my enjoyment. When the mango in the jar had run out, my cousin pared and sliced more as we ate and repeated the process until not a drop of sauce was left in the jar.

As soon as the sauce was gone, the excitement of the new experience wore off, and my six-year old belly was left with the biggest ache I had ever known. I don’t remember how long it ached but I do remember that wonderful taste. If there had been more sauce, I’d have drank it up like a tall, glass of water. My brother and my cousins continued with the chores associated with pickling the mangos and I was left, seated on a bench built by my uncle, under a mango tree having the time of my life.

My Roller Skates

Quick Note: I dare you to click and watch ALL the links. The songs take me WAYYYY back. It just might take you back too!

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When I was five years old, I received the prettiest pair of skates for my birthday. It was white and it had butteflies on the exterior, right where the ankle bone is. (Similar to the picture except the wheels were purple and there were pink and purple butterflies.) I remember my father taking me way out to Ala Moana Shopping Center to get them. Back then, the journey to Ala Moana took about an hour. And for a five year old, that means FOREVER!

I was so proud of those skates. I would roll down the hill right outside the house. At my birhtday party, I rolled around on my skates through out the entire party. You just couldn't sit me down. When I blew out the candles on my birthday cake, I did them in my lil skates! (Look at me with my favorite pink top, big cheeks, and all that hair!) My parents carport is maybe 16'x20' and you couldn't tell me that it wasn't my own roller rink. I couldn't wait to join my older cousins at the real roller rink.

The big kids went to Great America. That was the name of the roller rink! It was located in Kaneohe, behind what is currently Windward Mall. I was so proud to have my own pair of skates to take. I don't even remember getting out of the car. All I recall is approaching the entrance with my parents. The music was blaring and it sounded so good. Circa 1980, the world was making its way out of the disco era but still playing it loud and proud. I think that's when I fell for the Bee Gee's. Sing with me...

...Oh say you'll always be my baby
We can make it shine,
We can take forever
Just a minute at a time

More than a woman, more than a woman to me
More than a woman, more than a woman to me...

The dimly lit rink/ dance floor was bathed in red, orange, green, and blue lights. The disco ball in the middle of the floor took my breath away with its sparkling mirrors. Even now as I think back on it, I'm awash in emotions; feeling those brand new emotions that come with new experiences.

The teenagers skated around in pairs and it looked liked they were disco-ing. It looked like so much fun. I looked forward to growing up and learning to skate like they did and pairing off with a really handsome guy that could MOVE. I anxiously put on my skates, laced them up, and stood against the bannister. I was good at skating, could keep my balance, was really quick on my feet yet I felt so intimidated with so many skaters around.

As soon as More Than A Woman faded. The DJ comes over the speakers and anounces the evenings first contest. It was a race! The distinct bass line of Another One Bites the Dust hits the eardrums, and the crowd goes wild! Of course, that was the first time I had heard the song but it made quite an impression on me as I associate that song specifically to Great America. I don't think I won the contest that night. It didn't even matter. I was taking the whole, new experience in.

As I look back on that first experience at the roller rink, it is a great reminder of my innocense. I once was a young girl, without a worry in the world. EVERYTHING was BRAND NEW! The rink closed soon after my one and only experience there. I think they turned the place into an old warehouse or storage facility. Every time I drive past it, I look at the corrugated tin roof that is still atop the building, and remember the ME that didn't have to make so many grown-up decisions.

In my perfect world, I run a roller rink. I serve as the DJ and owner. My doors are open to young and old, alike, helping them find their innocense again. Suddenly, will play a couple times throughout the evening. (The song is a fave from the wonderful 80's. Thank the movie XANADU.) I cry everytime I hear Suddenly. It reminds me of how exciting life used to be and can still be.

Have you been roller skating?





**Skates Photo Credit

Always

Remember when "Always" was the cut? I was in the sixth grade when that song came out and it happened to be our class song (along with Lean On Me by Club Noveau). Every wedding I went to with my folks, that year, was playin' that song. The lyrics are ROMANTIC; beautiful. What it means to me now and what it was then are two entirely different things.

As a sixth grader, the song title meant that our class would be together for "always". If I hear the song now I'm instantly taken back to "them days".

--Fighting to be first in the lunchline
--Playing in the school yard was STILL cool
--Chasing boys meant playin' tag
--Pigtails and ribbons in my hair was accepted
--Boyfriends were boys that happened to be friends
--All birthday parties were attended by our parents also
--The only card game I knew was Crazy 8
--My whole world really was all the land between my house, the school and the church
--Double Dutch, Chinese Jumprope and High Jump... being good at it meant you were the most popular girl in the school
--Girls stood around at school dances and danced in a circle... guys did the same

I could actually go on and on and on about them days.... I miss it. I miss that innocense... that brand-newness. **sigh**

"...ooh you're like the sun chasing all of the rain away..."

A Beautiful Mind

I was in love with your beautiful mind
The mind that allowed me to explore my full potential
The mind that NEVER had a problem with my opinion...
In fact, your beautiful mind
encouraged it
embraced it
loved it
and wanted me to express it ever and ever and ever
I miss that

So everyday that I miss your beautiful mind
I promise to nurture mine
to ever perpetuate the thoughts that you once loved