Wednesday, October 31, 2018

Wednesday, October 24, 2018

3 Things -- Fighting for Love

I carefully selected what I would say in this video so as not to ramble on and on. However, I do believe there is room for discussion and further exploration into each point. I have several examples from my own life that prompted this idea of "fighting for LOVE." It seems as if the entire theme of my life has been about finding romantic love and yet what I have come to realize is that all along I was searching for the courage to love myself - the good, the bad, the ugly, and most of all the beautiful.

I had a fantastic childhood. Our family unit was whole and in tact. I grew up with both parents in the home and they loved each other and loved us. My parents were so active in my every part of my life. I can't imagine not having that. They are my example of what marriage and love is supposed to be like. So when I talk about fighting for love, I see my parents who stayed together through thick and thin. When I commit, I do not take my vows lightly. I'm not going to leave or give up just because things get hard.

Have no expectations and you will never be disappointed. We all have needs and for most of us, we have this large expectation of how he or she should behave. He needs to show me more affection. He needs to buy me large gifts. He needs to make "x" amount of money. He needs to drive a certain type of car. Blah blah blah. All the materialistic things can be lost in a heartbeat. They can also be acquired in a heartbeat. But it's not your partner's "job" to give you all these things especially when you're more than capable of getting them yourself. All of the emotion and love that you require are already in you. It's not your partner's job to pull it out and if you're waiting for that then you have a lot of your own healing to do. Realize that YOU ARE ENOUGH. Any one that you commit to or have committed to is a bonus because you are already whole and complete.

Giving of your love ties in to having "no expectations." When we approach a relationship from a place of service, it changes our partner's reaction. It is not a manipulation. It shouldn't be. I don't give to get. I serve him as a token of my sincere affection. I don't give him a massage because I want one. I don't cook a meal in the hopes that he will do something for me. I do these things to demonstrate that I adore him and it comes from a genuine place in my soul. I have no attachment to the outcome. I give you this, whatever "this" is, and I have no expectation of your reaction to it. You can love it or hate it but I am not going to be attached to how you receive it.

Example: My current beau loves shrimp. When we get together we eat seafood. I made shrimp for him twice. Both times they were sauteed in butter and garlic and hot sauce. He is not a butter person. He likes his shrimp boiled and both times I forgot that key information. He ate it both times, which was selfless on his part because he didn't want to hurt my feelings. Of course my feelings would not have been hurt because I am not attached to how he receives it but he didn't know that. From both perspectives, his and mine, we were giving selflessly. Me taking the time to make the shrimp. He accepting the gift even though he knew the butter would make him sick. Make sense?

Do something this week for your mate, spouse, partner, friend WITHOUT expecting a specific reaction. Tell me how it goes.



Wednesday, October 10, 2018

3 Things: A Star Is Born

VIDEO: 3 Things - A Star Is Born

Ok. Who wants to take me to see this movie... again? 

I don't know what creates sparks between two people but I am aware enough to know that it doesn't happen with everyone, both romantically and with new friends you meet. I absolutely love that magic that happens with new love. Remembering new love fuels everything in the relationship that follows. 

The magic that happened between my current beau and I continues to push us forward. He calls it love at first sight. He said he knew there was something magical between us the minute he laid his eyes on me. And I have to concur. You can't even make up the circumstances behind our meeting. When it's time for love to walk in, it's time. 

I have never been shy about love. My heart is wide open. I don't stop myself from feeling. Does that make sense? Some people who have been hurt in the past tend to cut off their feelings. I'm not one of those. If I feel love, I move with it even against all logic. I know how to follow my heart like that. And now, more than I ever have in the past, I know how to stand on my own two feet and not worry about what people around me think about my life choices. No one has to understand me or my choices. I am the only one that has to understand it. 



Friday, October 05, 2018

Short Trip Home

I was in Hawai'i - September 23rd and I just returned yesterday. What a trip! I didn't get to hang out with everyone that I wanted to. Most of my time was spent with my nieces and nephews. I love hanging out with them. They are so smart, so brilliant, bright shining lights in my world. It's always tough to leave them but I know that I cannot build my world around them as much as I want to.

I am so grateful for everyone that made time for me. I felt so spoiled while I was there. Dates for every meal of the day... a girl could get used to that even though I am not really a breakfast eater. I mean, I like breakfast just not in the morning and definitely NOT every morning. Me and Popps did our normal hide-and-eat adventures. Tita's Grill and Zippys. That's what we do. Lei Lei's, Kula Grill, Kaneohe Pancake House, Original Pancake House, Papa Oles, and the list goes on. I put on at least ten pounds while I was home.

When I walked into my apartment last night, I was a lil choked up to be ALL.BY.MYSELF. Alone. I was writing in my journal that it was always nice to come home to someone... that someone would be waiting for me when I opened the door. What greeted me was a messy house and complete and utter silence. I came home with wayyyy more than I went with. I checked a bag and a cooler plus my carry on and I sent a very large bin of goodies on Delta Cargo. I am pretty well stocked with my goodies and I brought more of my books from home. Anyway, I was irritated that I had pulled a muscle while I was in Hawai'i and had to lug all that mess into my apartment. My cousin offered to send his sons with me to unload my bags but that just wasn't necessary.

Anyway, I miss the noise of my nieces and nephews and their constant banter. I put them in front of my camera, lights on, and mic'd up. They are such naturals in front of the camera. No shame. Wide open. Full of interesting things to say or maybe I'm just biased because I am one-proud-aunt! Whatever. I'm here in South Carolina with a purpose and I will fulfill it, God-willing.