Celebrity Crushing: The Mirage of Johnny Gill

When I was a teenager, I remember one summer being so obsessed with Johnny Gill. My, My, My has always been one of my most favorite songs. Til this day, it is the reason why I love red dresses. I live in fantasy land sometimes and imagine my man (whoever he is) singing that song to me and admiring me in my red dress. I want to say it was the summer between freshmen and sophomore year. It was an extremely hot and humid day and I go with my family to the airport to pick up my older brother. These were the days when you could go all the way to the gate even if you weren't traveling. I am sitting near the gate where my brother is arriving at. It was just me. The rest of the family was in the air conditioned area. I'm sitting looking out across the lobby and see a gentleman dressed in a white linen outfit, a box cut fade, beautiful chocolate skin, round-rimmed sun glasses, a cotton tank top beneath the white linen, and a captivating smile. I look a little closer and I swear it's Johnny Gill. Me, not wanting to look like a groupie, I did not go up to him immediately. We smile at each other. I wave and he waves back. I feel like my heart is about to beat out of my chest and I rise to close the gap between us. In an instant, the distance between us is filled with swarms of people disembarking from the plane and I lose sight of him. Nobody will believe that I just saw Johnny Gill. Who can I tell this story to? I didn't even confirm if it was him and now he was lost in the sea of people.

The days following my "airport encounter" with, who I think is, Johnny Gill just drag on. I am swept up in fantasy land that Johnny Gill and I made a connection across that lobby. I mean he smiled at me across that airport lobby. He waved back at me too. It had to be day four after the airport encounter. It is the middle of the day and I am driving my grandmother to the bank. I come from a little country town where everybody knows everybody. If you are not from the area, you stick out like a sore thumb. I drive past one of the streets in my town. At the entrance of the street is a bus stop for the City Bus line and there, standing at the bus stop is Johnny Gill from the airport. I double-take and I swear it's him. My grandmother is talking and asking me why I'm slowing down. I look back at the bus stop and I am not imagining things, he is really standing there. It's another half mile before I have an opportunity to turn around. As I make the turn-around, a bus passes by. I try everything to beat the bus to Johnny Gill's stop but I don't make it. I see him boarding the bus. By this time, my grandmother is scolding me for making the detour and I am just silent, wanting to believe that Johnny Gill was just here in my little town AND riding the City Bus.

I want to chase the bus down and follow it until he gets off but how does that work? When he gets off the bus, what happens next? What if it's not Johnny Gill but my imagination? I can't make sense of it. I sit on thoughts of him as I continue on with my original task of driving my grandmother to the bank. The high of seeing Johnny Gill from the airport here in my neighborhood, so close, and the low of watching him get on the bus without me verifying that it was him makes me want to scream.

I day dream about he and I walking on the beach, holding hands, and talking. It's just the two of us on the beach. No one around. In my daydream, we are the stars of the Kool and the Gang music video, Cherish. The cool breeze, birds chirping and flying above, and the sound of the ocean set the scene. I gush about how his voice is so magical and velvety. I tell him that I always imagined that I was Stacy Lattisaw singing Perfect Combination with him. He smiles at me, kisses my hand, and hugs me. He tells me that he thinks we have a connection but that he has to go back on the road. He has obligations to his fans. I tell him that I'll wait for him to come back for me. He caresses my face and stares into my eyes. I feel like I am going to jump out of my skin with excitement. Our faces are so close together we can feel the warmth of each others breath. He slowly moves even closer. I close my eyes waiting for my first kiss and it's with Johnny Gill! Fade to Black... the daydream ends.

The new obsession is with Jaheim. I will attend a concert of his as soon as I find one here on the East Coast. I put myself on Ticketmaster's alert list for any performance by Jaheim. I read some reviews while I was on Ticketmaster and apparently he is not that good of a performer. Maybe he was having an off night. The reviewer said that he sounds amazing but he just doesn't put on a "show." I can understand what the reviewer is saying. Some people really are just singers and not performers. Yet and still, I want to see him and hear him live.

His voice is so masculine and raspy and edgy. I just love it. Prior to this newfound obsession with Jaheim, my bucket-list-have-to-see-performer was Maxwell. I took care of that in November 2016. That was the BEST date ever! Hands down -- the BEST date of my life. Sad that I was 41 at the time and that was my best date. Maybe we, as women, have to expect more from the men that want to court us. **sigh** Before that evening, I always referred to my Junior Prom date as the best date I ever had. He was on time, handsome in his tuxedo, bought me the nicest flowers and corsage, and he was the PERFECT gentleman the entire evening! Fast forward 25 years and I am front and center at a Maxwell concert in Baltimore, Maryland. The timing of seeing Maxwell was so perfect. If I never see that man, who was my date that night, ever again I want him to know how special that was for me. He made me come alive again. And maybe we both came alive through all our get-aways and maybe we're better people for the ones we are partnered with now.

I never did find out if that was Johnny Gill at the airport. The guy at the bus stop was NOT him. He was a cousin of someone that lived on that street. I met him a couple days after the incident. He did resemble Johnny Gill with the box fade and the beautiful skin tone. I think he knew that he looked like him and was milking it because he even dressed like Johnny Gill. I had a good laugh about it. But I will never know if that was Johnny at the airport and I'm okay with that because I will hold on to my Cherish Day Dream for all my days and have a good laugh about it from time to time.

Love Dedications

Kids that grew up in the 80's and early 90's know all about radio dedications. In Hawai'i, the evening love dedications on the radio started at 8'ish. It could have been 9 but I'm pretty sure it was 8:00 p.m. The DJ always signaled the beginning of his show by playing Love Songs Are Back Again by Band of Gold. (I embedded the YouTube video at the bottom of this post.) I think of it with great fondness. Listening to the DJ send out messages from one person to another before playing a song always tickled my brain. I wondered the circumstances behind the dedications.

You would hear any combination of the following messages:

"This goes out to Jay in Pearl City from CeCe. She's thinking of you and hopes you're thinking of her too."

"Shawn wants Karen to know how sorry he is and that he is going to do whatever it takes to show you how much he loves you."

"Happy Anniversary Jake. From Lisa. Let's celebrate this weekend."

A song would play that the DJ selected to go with the dedications. I remember hearing Just Once by James Ingram a lot on the radio in the early to mid-80's. Almost Paradise from the Footloose Soundtrack. Endless Love, Diana Ross and Lionel Richie. At such a young age, I couldn't have understood the lyrics the way I do now but the music certainly was beautiful. The lyrics of love songs have taken on new meaning now that I'm in my 4th decade of life and have suffered more broken hearts than one person should. But I lived to hear the nightly dedications back then. As the years wore on, the dedication songs gave way to You Are My Lady by Freddie Jackson, Through the Fire by Chaka Khan, and Whitney Houston's Saving All My Love For You, Still Say Yes by Klymaxx.  There are so many songs that I could name that would take me back to the 80's and those late nights, laying in my bed, listening to the radio. The love ballads captured the different nuances of being in love or consequently, falling out of love.

I would write out love dedications in my journals. I actually broke out the journals that had all the love dedications to see what songs I was using back then.

February 16, 1989
TO: 1989Crush
SONG: Forgive Me For Dreaming by Elisa Fiorillo
MESSAGE: Forgive me
I bet this song brings back memories for those of us that came up in the late 80's. It reminds me of specific moments in time that I wish I could relive. Childhood was so free and chock full of brand new experiences. Love. Like. Hurt. Crush. All kinds of new emotions. My cousin and I would sit in her garage and listen to this song on repeat. We would talk about our secret crushes and all the guys we thought were cute. I miss the innocence of it all.

February 20, 1989
TO: 1989Crush
SONG: Tender Love by Force MD
MESSAGE: Here I lay all alone
The piano introduction of this song certainly takes me back to the 5th grade. There are two specific memories attached to this song, for me.
**First is the movie Krush Groove. The love scene between Sheila E. and Blair Underwood just about knocked my 10-year old socks off. My parents did not let us watch this movie. I had to sneak to watch it. I don't know how we happened upon the video but we got our hands on it. If only real life love scenes were like this one. It was beautiful. Tender!
**The second memory attached to this song -- 5th grade Class Trip to Camp Erdman. It was the night of the flashlight dance and there was an earthquake somewhere in the pacific which prompted an evacuation due to a tsunami warning. Growing up in Hawai'i, surrounded by nothing but water, tsunamis threats are just what it is. We evacuated away from the beach to Waialua High School where we played games until the all-clear was given. When we went back to Camp, we still had our dance and I remember Tender Love was most requested.

The only time I ever got through on the radio to make a dedication was in 2002. I can be certain of a date if I look it up in my handwritten journals because I distinctly remember writing about it. I was on my way to work, driving from Mililani to Waikiki on O'ahu. I worked for the Hilton back then and I was listening to the Frank B. Shaner Morning Show. Frank's show (I can call him by his first name and I'll explain why) was a Hawaiian music program. And if you have never heard his show, he is a crack up in an old-school Hawaiian style way. Consider my surprise when I saw a picture of him and he is on the lighter shade of Hawaiian with features to match. When I get through to talk to him, I tell him that I want to send a shout out to my dad working in the plant nursery at such-and-such place. He asks me my dad's name. I tell him. Low and behold, we're related! I'm skeptical because I don't recognize his name but after the conversation I definitely went through my family history and found his mother's obituary. What a small world and that was the green light for my dedication to my popps. I can't recall the song but it was a good one. Indeed love dedications can include shout outs to family.

I heard a song this morning on the Steve Harvey Morning Show on 101.3, the Big DM, Columbia, South Carolina. Ne-Yo's Good Man came on. Of course the tune is catchy. He samples D'Angelo's (Untitled) How Does It Feel. Using that song already hooks every single woman that has ever seen D'Angelo's video. But the lyrics. The lyrics that Ne-Yo penned for this song is so simple and so beautiful. I heard his interview with Steve Harvey when he released this song and he explained that he wrote this out for his wife. I think he said wife. I don't keep up with celebrity gossip. Ne-Yo explained how his girl told him from the beginning all of her deal-breakers when she is dating a man. He was so impressed. I am assuming because of her high standards. And the song is a result of how he wanted to be a better man for her.

Having said that, let me close with this. This is what I want from whatever man is brave enough to love me for life, maybe even forever. I want him to promise me the things that Ne-Yo talks about:

I ain't nowhere near perfect but I promise,
I promise to make it all worth it
Giving you the things to be the man you're deserving
Making sure you're smiling
Way more than you're hurting
Taking my time to hear you when you're talking
Remindin you how bad you are often
Keep them legs shaking
Making love and making sure you understand
That's in my plan
Said I just wanna be a good man, good man
To you girl, That's all I want to be
That's all I want to be baby

I wait for this love dedication to come my way and I hope it will stay for all the days of my life. Let this be his declaration to me and be the reminder that prompts him when he's feeling trapped in our relationship. Surely, years of being together with one person can certainly get dull. The hope is always that he will not give up on us. That he will find the strength to resist outside forces. I know that I don't want to grow old alone. I can see clearly me sitting in a rocking chair, on a porch somewhere, seated across the love of my life.... whoever he is. We're old and gray and STILL only have eyes for each other. I pray this will be me one day. And I pray that my heart will never be broken again.

What's Your Song?

I have a love affair with love songs. Of course, I do. #iStillBelieveInLove

I can pin point exact times in my life with just a hint of the first measure of a song. For instance, the first two notes of I NEED LOVE by L.L. Cool J will have me thinking of the summer I turned 13. I had to have played that song a hundred times a day. If I wasn't in the ocean turning purple from being in the sun, I was laying out on the sand listening to L.L. and dreaming of being the one he wanted to kiss and hold. I had his posters plastered all over my bedroom wall. My nieces say he looks like a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle. I can't relate to that! He's aged but I still think he is delicious-looking. He's a married man and I shouldn't crush on him. Duh!

My older brother and I have this thing when we hear songs from our younger years... we will call out the year that it reminds us of. TWO OCCASIONS by The Deele -- sick memories for him and I. He's three years older than me so the memories are different but it takes us back to the same year. For me, it reminds me of Christmas time when I was in the 8th grade. I remember the first time I heard it, we were on our way to a volleyball tournament. I was the setter for our Laie Town Girls team. Our jerseys were white with blue letters. I remember thinking that I couldn't wait to be in love, to have someone feel that way about me -- that they only "...think of me on Two Occasions. Day and Night." My enthusiasm for love and being in love way back when could not have prepared me for all the heartache I have known in my life since then. And even with all the heartache I have known, it has not dampered my excitement to love and be loved. Call me a hopeless romantic or foolish. #iStillBelieveInLove

The first strum of PURPLE RAIN has multiple memories attached to it. I think I was in the 4th or 5th grade when that movie came out. As a little person, I could not have identified with the lyrics of that song in its full totality in the way that I do now. Prince is and will always be a genius in my eyes. The personal stories everyone has with his music and especially Purple Rain, the song and the movie, could probably fill volumes of books. I remember riding in a van with a bunch of girls to Waimea Valley and we had Purple Rain on repeat throughout the hour long drive. By the end of the drive, we had all memorized the lyrics and had our own connection to the song. As an adult, I remember having a "date night" with my sis. She had her man and I had brought over a "friend" and we did dinner and a movie at her place. The movie we watched was Purple Rain. Needless to say, it was a night to remember. The details of which will remain tucked away in my memory and attached to that song and movie.

Music has a crazy way of manufacturing feelings that may not have been there beforehand. I think of the song by Shai, COME WITH ME. At the time that song came out, my then boyfriend had just moved away from me - thousands of miles across the ocean. I remember hearing the song and the lyrics and I decided in my mind that I would follow him, that I would do whatever was necessary to be in his arms and be the love of his life. I get that way - when I want something I go after it hard. Is it a flaw or a strength? I don't know. I end up putting my ALL into following my desires. And it's not his fault that I am so forward and so very devoted to loving him - whoever "him" is at the moment. It's a crazy pattern that I should probably change because it seems to have a negative effect on me.
I want to know
Should I really, really go
And if so, are you coming with me?
So I, I got to know,
If you really want me to go,
And if so, come with me!

I married that man that I followed thousands of miles across the sea. He was my first husband. When we married, we had a big wedding. He was my first love and the man that I wanted to share forever with. The song I chose to walk down the aisle to is RIBBONS IN THE SKY by Stevie Wonder. The first bars of that song still reminds me of the day we wed. It was so very rainy. Nothing was going right. One of my bridesmaids told me, right before we went out to walk down the aisle, "You don't have to do this. If you have any reservations, we can run away right now." I will never forget her words. I almost took her up on it. No amount of wedding primp could have prepared me for the loss of that love in my life. He was the only man to have my heart so full and so complete - it had not been jaded or tainted by hurt and broken promises. He left me after six years of marriage. I still think of him walking out of my apartment after we signed the divorce papers. Seeing his back exit the door, his distinct walk, the silhouette of his body; my heart went with him.

Music will always be a big part of my life. In recent months India Arie's, BEAUTIFUL SURPRISE, has me all warm and fuzzy. New love is always so exciting especially when love was not the expectation. And new love can never be that deep love that comes after years of being in a relationship. It's not supposed to but it contains all the hope of enduring love, forever love. It can never get to that point without the butterflies of new affection first. That initial attraction fuels the fire that forces us to take flirtation to some next level feelings.

I know I am EXTRA when it comes to the way I demonstrate my affections. I will never stop being that way and one day someone will appreciate that about me. I will not change the way that I love. I will not change how devoted I am when in love. I will never change my level of commitment when I give it and my loyalty will always be something that my man will always remember. My past loves could NEVER say that they ever questioned my loyalty or my devotion to them. When you talk about a true partner, I see myself as that woman. I will always make sure that my man looks good to everyone in his life. I support his vision, encourage him to be the best man that he can be for everyone in his world, not just me. EVERYONE. I will never understand why my past loves would walk away from this. I can only move forward and believe in the hope of new love.

Just recently, I stumbled on PROMISE TO LOVE by Kem. I am picking that as my song if I ever fall in love again and maybe one day marry again. Maybe (marry again)! My heart has been banged up especially this past year. But I will never lose my enthusiasm to be in love again. I will never stop believing that there is a man out there that wants to be in my world FOREVER.
You're the baddest woman I have every known
The sweetest thing I've ever had, yes you are
And I want to thank you baby
For loving me, and changing me, and saving me
You see I was lost, I was lonely
But you came and turned it all around girl
You light up my life, yes you do
You're the song of my heart
The joy of my soul

What's your song?

Song Rehearsal: Who Am I To Question

Jeffrey Osborne LIVE - Check!

It all started back in May. I did a google search for "hawaii R&B". Blue Note Hawaii came up with its calendar of exciting artists. I missed Chaka Khan in June. Jody Watley & Shalamar is coming up in August. Incognito in September. I am so excited about this Blue Note venue and the representation of REAL live music. Real instruments. Real voices. Real talent.

This past weekend I checked an item off my bucket list.

I saw Jeffrey Osborne, live, here in Honolulu. **swooning**

I was just a toddler when Love Ballad was released but that song is the reason I fell in love with Jeffrey Osborne. I only discovered it after hearing all of Mr. Osborne's hits in the 80's. I am sure you are familiar with some of them.

"On the wings of love, up and above the clouds, the only way to fly, is on the wings of love..."

"You should be mine. Anything you want. You got to fortify my love to fortify me. Can you woo woo woo? Can you woo woo woo?...."

His voice is so silky and it has a distinct, unique quality that I just absolutely love.

Hubby and I attended the 9pm show. Jeffrey Osborne's scaled down band hopped on stage at 9pm and did a great jazz intro featuring the best trumpet soloist I have ever heard. He is fabulous. By 9:10, Jeffrey Osborne hopped on stage and went non-stop until 10:45'ish. He is such a funny guy.

The highlight of the evening was when he sang the famous LTD song, Love Ballad. In one of my unfinished novels, The Adventures of Slim Williams, I feature this song. I just absolutely love it. It makes me feel so in love and so ready to be loved. To hear it live by the man himself is just a priceless experience for me. To share it with my husband was a beautiful thing. I am so grateful that we were able to attend this show. It was worth every penny. Premiere seating was $75 a pop.

 

QUICK REVIEW of BLUE NOTE HAWAII 

LOCATION: 2nd Floor of the Outrigger Waikiki Beach Resort (above Duke's Waikiki)

PARKING: Ugghhh - about two blocks away at the Outrigger East. Walking the two blocks in heels is not fun. I should have brought my crocks to walk back to the car in. I would have paid to valet but that was full.

RESERVATIONS: There are three tiers of pricing that determines seating. The bar area is the cheapest but does not have guaranteed seating and you could possibly end up standing all night. If you want to dance all night, I guess that would be a great option. The loge area is about the same distance from the bar as the stage is however you have guaranteed seating in a booth or table. The final tier is the premiere seating, which is right in front of the stage. It is a very intimate setting and I absolutely love it! We selected the premiere seating and we had a great view of the stage.

Seating is open but if you're a couple, you will end up sharing the table. Most of the tables and booths are for four people. We lucked out because a really nice couple sat with us. Her name is Dee. I can't remember her husband's name.

AMBIANCE: The room is bathed in blue light even with the house lights on. It is very clean and super romantic. The tables and booths have cute little votive candles. One downer is how hot it was in there. Maybe they need some overhead fans or a better a/c system.

SERVICE: The hostess actually selected our table. I asked her to take us to the best seat and that is exactly what she did. Our Server was very attentive and professional. Plates and glasses were cleared quickly.

FOOD & DRINK:
$16 for an Italian sausage cut in half, grilled and served with red and green pepper in a tomato sauce - this dish was overpriced, in my opinion.
$14 for caprese salad - this was actually very delicious and, for the size of it, well worth the $14. It was served with a scoop of a balsamic sorbet of some sort. It was the color of wasabi so when I tasted it, I was expecting for it to be spicy. It was a frozen presentation.
Drinks were quite expensive also. Based on the drink menu, it was $10 and up.

SUMMARY:
I will definitely be back. Blue Note Hawaii is a beautiful venue. They have been hosting excellent artists.

D'Angelo Returning to Music

Please Please Please read this post about D'Angelo. I am so glad he is making a come back. Thanks to Naked & Natural for keeping her eyes peeled for the return of D'Angelo.

**Photo Credit**
There are no words! Before my now-husband and during the heartbreak of my first marriage, D'Angelo was the man I dreamed would carry me into the sunset and we would live happily-ever-after. His music is outstanding, very original and soulful. His look - unique. Masculine features. Well-defined body... (it's been said that he got fat but who cares, he's back?!! LOL).

Welcome back D'Angelo. We missed you!

A.I. Season 11

So far, this is my ABSOLUTE favorite performance for American Idol Season 11.

Jessica Sanchez vocal styling is so unexpected and I don't really have to say anything about Deandre Brackensick. Candice Glover was awesome too. Sad she didn't make it through to the Top 24.



Enjoy!

Music and Me

Challenge #9: If stranded on a deserted island, and could only bring one music album with you, which would it be? What is it about this music that never gets old for you?

* * * * * * * * * *

My favorite music album changes as I age. Every time I think I have found the definitive album that matches me so perfectly, I hear something else that blows my mind away.

When I was young and single and fresh out of high school, the ABOVE THE RIM Soundtrack would have been the album for me. Why would anyone pass up SWV, H-Town, 2Pac, and Tha Dogg Pound? Now, I still enjoy that particular album but my taste in music continues to evolve. Back in 1998/1999 era, I would have said that KIRK FRANKLIN and any kind of gospel music was "it" for me. But as I stated before, my taste in music continues to change. Probably the best thing I could do is make a play list of some of my absolute MUST HAVE songs because just one album would not do it for me.

Song #1: I remember when I was five years old my cousin Nani (God rest her soul) used to play The Manhattan's Shining Star over and over again. Back then, we didn't have the convenience of a cd where all you do is go back to the beginning of a song. We had cassettes and you either had to press rewind to get back to the beginning of the song (it took a minute or two, literally!) or record the song over and over on the cassette until it ran out of space. Either way, it took some effort. That song is definitely imprinted in my mind and would be considered a song that I would want on a CD because of the memories associated with the song. Song #1 SHINING STAR

Song #2: My parents are fans of Country-Western music. As a little girl, my father would put in his Glen Campbell 8-Track and we'd cruise down Kamehameha Highway, aboard our white impala (sixth generation) with red vinyl top and red interior. I can still remember singing, "..There's been a load of compromisin'/ On the road to my horizon/ But I'm gonna be where the lights are shinin' on me/ Like a rhinestone cowboy/ Riding out on a horse in a star-spangled rodeo..." Any Glen Campbell song will remind me of my father. But the one that makes me miss him even when he's right next to me is Wichita Lineman. I have to give it to country-music, the lyrics often tell a story that is not based solely on lascivious desire as is the case with some rap, some hip-hop, and some R&B. So song #2 is definitely WICHITA LINEMAN.

Song #3... comes from one of my favorite movies of all time. The Mirror Has Two Faces starring Barbra Streisand has the title song "I Finally Found Someone". That is a definite favorite. And if I'm imagining that I'm on a deserted island then I would want this song handy to remind me of this movie and what my life was like when I first seen it. The movie came out in 1996. I didn't see it until probably 2001 or 2002... the ex and I were separated. I was feeling very, very low -- doubting my reflection. Why didn't he love me? Am I unloveable? I went through a myriad of emotions mostly pointing to me feeling sorry for myself. The movie portrays Barbra as a frumpy single lady who marries the handsomest professor for all the wrong reasons... just for the sake of being married. HMMMM... sounded so much like my life at the time. To find out what happens... well... you have to watch the movie! SONG #3: I FINALLY FOUND SOMEONE.

Song #4 is an unlikely choice that ties into Song #3. It was another song that was featured on The Mirror Has Two Faces in a roundabout way. The song -- Nessun Dorma as performed by Pavarotti. As a child, I did not have access to things like ballet or opera so hearing this song was such an experience. I don't even know what the song is talking about but it comes from the opera Turandot. It is magnificent!

Song #5 ... this song OFTEN makes me feel homesick for somewhere beyond this earth. I don't know if folks can connect with that. I wrote about it before on here. It stimulates weird emotions... not weird meaning bad but like weird meaning new emotions and experiences. The song is by Christopher Cross, SAILING. The vibrations of this song is at the right level to reduce me to tears -- homesick.

Song #6 ... going in a totally different direction, one of the greatest rock songs for me comes from the classic late 80's rock band Guns-and-Roses. WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE. I love that song. I love Axel Rose. Not only is it a pumping, up beat song but it appears on the movie Lean On Me.... great memories.

Song #7 ...a rap classic PAID IN FULL by Eric B. and Rakim. The bass line and sound bytes are representative of the era of Yo! MTV Raps (at least for me, it is). I remember first hearing that song and seeing that video. I was/ am hooked. Current "pop hip hop" artists can't even touch the lyrical skills of old school rap masters like Rakim. His distinct voice coupled with his delivery and poetry -- no one can duplicate it. The quality of his voice is probably my favorite even to this day. (I like Dr Dre's voice also.) East Coast style rap was king before NWA hit the scene and when they did -- it was up in the air who ruled the rap waves.

Song #8 ...I NEED LOVE. L.L. Cool J was, in my opinion, the finest man I had ever seen when I was 12. I always imagined that he was rapping right to me when he did this song. I used to write down the lyrics over and over in my journal. Til this day, I can still rap the entire song. Goodness, it's been over 20 years. I amaze myself.

Song #9 ... SEPTEMBER by Earth Wind and Fire. That song makes me feel happy. I can just see myself waking up to this song if I were deserted on an island. It wakes me up and makes me feel a little nostalgic.... wishing for the carefree innocence of childhood.

Song #10 ...CLAIR DE LUNE composed by Claude Debussy and performed by 101 Strings Orchestra. This is my  most favorite classical piece of all time. It appears in a couple of Hollywood movies. Think of the end scene of Oceans 11, outside of The Bellagio, the water dances to this tune. It's used in Twilight. I've heard it was cut from a crane scene in the 1940 Disney Classic, Fantasia. I just love the good vibes I get from this song. The thought of being on a deserted island makes me think of the piano or the stringed instruments I will not hear for awhile.

* * * * * * * * * *

I think that's a pretty good playlist for now. I have eclectic taste in music. What can I say?

Music Musings

It's been awhile since I've listened to music. I've been totally uninterested since probably about 2005'ish. I am wholly disappointed with the direction of music. The REAL STUFF is hidden somewhere in obscure bars or around the kava bowl. I just know that it is definitely NOT in the mainstream. I crave hearing sincerity in a song and beautiful lyrics.

When I was in high school, most nights I would end by popping in my favorite slow jam cassette (Yes! I said CASSETTE. lol) or tune in to Love Songs on KRTR while I write in my journal. It was always a perfect way to unwind and review the day and think through the things that were going on in my life at the time. Most times now, the only time I write in my journal is at church and I do a quick review of the week. Last night I brought back the slow jams and journal writing. It was a wonderful thing.

Some of the songs that played on my iTunes playlist brought back some serious memories. I remember how I felt when I first heard the song and who I was crushing on at the time. It felt really good and made me think of the current state of music. I am utterly disappointed by the amount of trash on the radio. Real artists that actually have something to say have all but faded from the music scene. John Lennon had something to say that had nothing to do with war. Bob Marley had a cause and garnered attention from the entire world because of his vision of peaceful existence. Jimi Hendrix. Michael Jackson. Tupac. Artists with a message rarely live to tell the entire story. I wonder what they'd have to say if they were here today.

"All we are saying is GIVE PEACE A CHANCE!"
~John Lennon

"Get up, Stand up.
Stand up for your rights!"
~Bob Marley

"The power of love OVERCOMES the love of power."
~Jimi Hendrix

"In a world filled with hate, we must still dare to hope. In a world filled with anger, we must still dare to comfort. In a world filled with despair, we must still dare to dream. And in a world filled with distrust, we must still dare to believe."
~Michael Jackson

"Why am I fighting to live, if I'm just living to fight
Why am I trying to see, when there aint nothing in sight
Why am I trying to give, when no one gives me a try
Why am I dying to live, if I'm just living to die?"
~Tupac

Timeless messages never go out of style. They seem to apply across creed and race barriers. They extend beyond class and station in life. Wish there was a music messenger out there right now. Someone that could incite me to think beyond sex, drugs, and alcohol. I've tried listening to Country but it gets a little depressing and monotone. I love Classical on occasion. Gospel does well too. Jazz is great. Island music is awesome but limited. I love music from like Jack Johnson, John Mayer, Maroon 5 (what genre is that?). I even love Reggae but my heart is in R&B... and R&B has left me utterly DISAPPOINTED.

**heavy sigh**

Day 05: My Definition of Love

I think my definition of love has changed over the years. As a child and teenager, it was largely shaped by the music I listened to. A typical "cassette" from back-in-the-day would be like this:


A-Side
Please Don't Go Girl - New Kids on the Block
Don't You Want Me - Jody Watley
Shining Star - Manhattans
Take My Breath Away - Berlin
Roni - Bobby Brown
Still Say Yes - Klymaxx
Superwoman - Karyn White
Mercedes Boy - Pebbles
Lost In Emotion - Lisa Lisa
Slow Jam - Midnight Star

B-Side
Always - Atlantic Starr
Share My World - El Debarge
My My My - Johnny Gill
Lost In Your Eyes - Debbie Gibson
A Teenage Love - Slick Rick
Do We Have a Chance - Whistle
I Need Love - L.L. Cool J
Borderline - Madonna
Separate Lives - Phil Collins
Out On A Limb - Tina Marie

Plainly stated...

Love is...

...when the way a person loves you makes you love yourself.

This has been my definition of love for the past 10 years or so. I formulated the phrase while writing in my diary. I have never forgot that definition. When people ask me, that's the phrase I use! Through my first marriage, when it was going well, I learned to love myself because of the way he loved me. It felt good. I felt good. I looked in the mirror and loved everything about myself. My definition applies to romantic love as well as familial relationships. It fits everywhere.

I reposted an article that I clipped about Love.





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Photo Credit

An Ode to Chaka Khan

The first song I ever fell in love with is Through the Fire, performed by Chaka Khan. Even now, I'm well into my 30's, this song still gives me chills.

I remember the first time I heard it. We were camping. I couldn't have been more than nine or ten and I, along with my cousin, was trying to hang out with the teenagers. The great thing about the teenagers back then is that they weren't trying to shew us little kids away. They took us with them until our parents could corral us back to our tents.

The lyrics didn't mean much to me as a little girl. The tune though, and the sweet voice of Chaka Khan, always had me dreaming of having a voice just like that. On my tenth birthday, my dad's best friend gifted me a bunch of cassettes. The Mary Jane Girls, Madonna (Like A Virgin), Klymaxx, and of course the lovely Chaka Khan. I remember when I opened the box, I thought I would cry tears of happiness.

Chaka Khan represented, for me, the emergence and discovery of entertainers that I could identify with. My father listened to Hawaiian music, Tom Jones, Nat King Cole, Bob Marley, and some country music. My mother wasn't really into the music scene. I recall her playing Samoan music on rare occasions. So, for me, getting a Chaka Khan cassette was a magic moment.

I felt like I looked like her. The caramel skin and the thick hair were so different from the artists on the scene and it was new to me. Beautiful to me! There I was, a little Polynesian girl, coming up with parents that had different musical tastes than mine having to navigate my own way through the music. I have to say though, I do love some of the music my dad enjoys. I love my Hawaiian music and Samoan music. I can still rock She's A Lady by Tom Jones and Nat King Cole still soothes me with Mona Lisa. That's me now but me back then had to do a little researching to find the rhythm that moved/moves me.

Through the Fire is one of those songs that, as I age, the meaning goes deeper. The imagery of a fire and having to endure it and go through it to preserve love is, in itself, proof of the depth of my love. The song seems to play in the background of all the events that have occurred in my life. Just today I wrote in my journal the following:

It's obvious that the issues in my life is to learn to be more compassionate, to learn to express and practice unconditional love. These are the issues that I observe always coming forward in terms of the types of challenges I face.

The problem has never been the people around me. The problem or the thing that needs to be fixed is ME. Through the Fire was playing when I suffered my first crush. I was sure it was love. I was sure he was the one I wanted to be with forever (even if we were only 15) and ever. **rolling my eyes** I'm glad that friendship never panned out. We were just all wrong for each other. Through the Fire was playing when I fell in love with my first husband, married him, divorced him, and it helped me mourn the ending of the relationship. Through the Fire is playing now, in the sixth year of marriage to my second husband, when things are a little rocky. The song is serving to remind me that I want this love to stand the test of time. I want it to survive beyond the crazy trials of this lifetime.

So I thank Chaka Khan for performing this song in all the love moments in my life. Her voice, so beautiful. Her look, so enchanting! She had me wanting to be just like her. If only I could have that voice!

Aloha Music Fest

It's called the Aloha Music Fest. I'm not sure if this is a new annual event here in Hawai'i but I'm so glad it's here! They handed out fliers at the Ladies of the 80's Concert I attended earlier this month. I've been looking forward to this ever since and it's finally here! The venue: Aloha Tower Market Place. Beautiful setting on the waterfront!

Friday's festivies feature a local group, Nesian Nine. I'm not sure if they do original music but they surely do cover a vast selection of 90's R&B. They will be the "house band" for the evening as other local R&B artists sing their hearts out. I love the whole live band sound cuz singing with a CD backing you up is just KARAOKE!!

Opening for the feature act is Goapele. I wonder what that name means. Does anybody know? Anyway, I really love her vibe and I'm so looking forward to hearing her live and in person. Ok... not really trying hard, I found out what Goapele means and how it is pronounced. According to about.com, Goapele is pronounced gwah-play. It means to "go forward" in the South African language Tswana. (Info Source)

The headlining act is Erykah Badu with her band. I'm almost as excited as I was when I bought tickets to the Prince concert in San Francisco, about 10 years ago. Only difference is, the promoters of the Prince concert cancelled due to scalpers purchasing a ridiculous amount of tickets. **heavy sigh** That was a sad moment in my life. LOL... Til this day, I have yet to see the Purple Majesty perform live. Of course Erykah is nowhere near Prince status for me, so comparing the two is downright silly. But still, I'm excited! Here she is, performing one of my favorite songs, I Want You.




**Erykah flier & Aloha Tower Photo Credit
**Goapele Photo Credit

Tuesday's Release

Husband bought me this CD on Wednesday. I shoulda told him to get it on AMAZON... cuz that mugg is like $2 bucks cheaper even after you add the shipping!! I love an unplugged CD!!! Fa real... the "live" sound is BEAUTIFUL. Sometimes pure music is masked by too many drum machines and synthesizers. Can't hide any flaws when you're doing it live. I love it.

Why is "Unbreakable" such a cute song? **giggles** She hollers out a whole bunch of celebrity black couples.

"If I Was Your Woman"... just beautiful.

The CD might not be for everybody but I just love when someone can tickle the ivories and captivate my interest.

Thanks Alicia!!! Keep on doin' ya thang.

What If?

What if I was twenty-something in the 60's?

People Get Ready is playing in the background
Where would I have been?

I'd have been in the crowd watching Martin Luther King, Jr. deliver his famous "I Have A Dream" speech.

I'd mourn the assassination of Malcolm X and praise the God that blessed us with him.

I'd have protested the Vietnam War... as many times as I could.

People Get Ready fades into Give Peace A Chance
Where would I have been?

I'd have been curled up in a bomb shelter somewhere preparing for nuclear chaos. I'd have witnessed the Cuban missile crisis.

I'd watch the country mourn the assassination of JFK then later his brothers' assassination.

I'd have been on the front lines of feminism. And witness the birth of the "pill".

Give Peace A Chance fades into Soul Man
Where would I have been?

I'd witness the rise and fall of The Black Panthers.

I'd see with my own eyes Thurgood Marshall sworn into the supreme court.

I'd watch a man walk on the moon... supposedly.

Soul Man fades into What's Goin On
Where would I have been?

Watching Stokely Carmichael and the Black Power movement emerge!

I'd cry tears of joy when Muhammad Ali rejects the draft.

Riots.
Fires.
Protests.
REVOLUTION!!!

I can't believe I missed all the turmoil and all the passion.

So tell me folks.... what else happened in the 60's that I missed? Where would you have been?

$150 Off The Top

I bought a piano on September 3rd. Nothing big or fancy. I bought it at the bargain price of $1,000.00 for a studio model. It is gorgeous and it sounded absolutely heavenly. Past tense... sounded!

I had to let it go. A few days after having had the piano delivered, there were a couple of keys that was NOT QUITE sounding right. They weren't out of tune. That wasn't it. When I played, it sounded the same way a speaker sounds when its blown out. It was terrible. I called the man I bought the piano from twice to come and fix it. And everytime, after he'd do what he does, the piano sounded more terrible.

Fortunately, he did agree to take the piano back. Although he took $150 off the top, I still got the majority of my money back. I couldn't teach piano lessons with the way that piano sounded. I suppose I just have to buy a brand new piano or get a keyboard. Either one will pay itself off.

PURELY

Nothing stays pure.

We watch the rise in popularity of hip hop and know that her demise has been exploitaion. (Yes, Hip Hop is a she!)

We devour certain blogs because they are just.that.good... then lose interest once we realize that said blogger DID NOT write the entry just for you. It was written for the masses that are reading because the blog had been... exploited.

We marvel at musical masterpieces that we enjoy in some little known cafe.... and think, "Damn, the world needs to hear him play the piano and sing as he does." Then when they get that million dollar deal... they're exploited and we move right along... looking for that PURE sound, again.

Art and expression have been robbed by exploitation. But who wants to remain a starving artist? However, we often tell ourselves that we'd never sell out for money. We write because it is PURELY our thoughts! We rhyme and flow because it is PURELY our thoughts. We make beautiful music because it is PURELY our thoughts... and when the first opportunity for exposure comes along, we submit to it OR do we remain a starving artist?

We rationalize by saying that we want to express to the world, our thoughts. But if someone else is footing the bill for your creative expression then, ultimately, THEIR thoughts are YOUR thoughts. Am I wrong?

It's like finding a fresh water spring on your property, that is yours ALONE to enjoy... then someone coming along and selling rights to the water.... and now you get the money but you get zero satisfaction when it comes to enjoyment. SICKENING!!!

Rest in peace, purity! Exploitation has robbed, maimed and murdered you!

Pages of My Diary : #01

In the effort to help a friend write in her diary regularly, I came up with a whole bunch of questions.... just in case she ran out of ideas on what to write about. So, this is an introduction to The Pages of My Diary : #01...

Name one of your favorite songs. Give a memory about it. Every detail! Where were you? Who was there? How old were you? What was going on?

About two weeks ago, I was at a Baby Luau... sidebar on Baby Luau's... it's a party celebrating a childs first year of life here in Hawai'i. It is a big event. Historically, children died within their first year of life. So, if the child made it past that first year, a big celebration was held. The tradition still lives today.

So anyway, there I am at this party and the band playing, Inoa'Ole was just OFF THE CHAINS. Along with original music, they played stuff from the 70's and 80's. They had me when they started playing some Earth Wind and Fire. They sang some New Edition. "Mr Telephone man, there's something wrong with my line. When I dial my babies number I hear a click everytime." It was AWESOME. I had so much fun. This guy, George Taulani has a set of pipes on him that are so smoothe, so beautiful, so masculine... just WONDERFUL. The CD probably doesn't do him ANY justice.

So I'm sitting there at this party and loving the music and loving the vibe in the air. Then the band sings, "Every Little Step I Take" by Mr. Bobby Brown. That opening keyboard sequence IMMEDIATELY took me back 17 years. 1988 is the original release date.

"Every Little Step..." was the CUTT! The popularity of that song lasted way over a year. It was being played at all the dances. The Thursday Night Special is a talent show that occured once a year in the little neighborhood I grew up in. So, my brother and his friends hook up a little routine to that song for the talent show. My friends was "crushing" hard on my brother... that puppy love stuff. We had to be all of 13 years old. **giggling**

So the Thursday Night Special comes along and me and my girlies are sitting in the audience. Russ and his friends come out in black jeans and black turtle necks. You know this is the era of africa medallions, cross colours and Kid & Play dance moves. And they just go off. The crowd is roaring. It was INTENSE and way toooo much fun.

These are the memories associated with Every Little Step! That I'm sitting in an audience with my favorite girls... and we're all screaming at the top of our lungs. That summer was the end of innocense for some of those girls I sat with and WE were never the same.

Always

Remember when "Always" was the cut? I was in the sixth grade when that song came out and it happened to be our class song (along with Lean On Me by Club Noveau). Every wedding I went to with my folks, that year, was playin' that song. The lyrics are ROMANTIC; beautiful. What it means to me now and what it was then are two entirely different things.

As a sixth grader, the song title meant that our class would be together for "always". If I hear the song now I'm instantly taken back to "them days".

--Fighting to be first in the lunchline
--Playing in the school yard was STILL cool
--Chasing boys meant playin' tag
--Pigtails and ribbons in my hair was accepted
--Boyfriends were boys that happened to be friends
--All birthday parties were attended by our parents also
--The only card game I knew was Crazy 8
--My whole world really was all the land between my house, the school and the church
--Double Dutch, Chinese Jumprope and High Jump... being good at it meant you were the most popular girl in the school
--Girls stood around at school dances and danced in a circle... guys did the same

I could actually go on and on and on about them days.... I miss it. I miss that innocense... that brand-newness. **sigh**

"...ooh you're like the sun chasing all of the rain away..."

I Love Luther

I can't believe he's gone. Luther's music has seen me thru some hard times... and good times as well. I have nothing profound to say about the artist. I just know that if there were a soundtrack for my life... Luther appears all between 1985 and 2005. Twenty years is a long time.

There are so many Luther songs that I enjoy... can't pick just one. It's impossible. I love me some BIG LUTHER! He will be missed!