Monday, December 19, 2005

Question... How Do You Keep The Music Playing?

I am sitting here trying to find something significant to write about. I started writing about husband then I erased it. Then I started writing about my pops then I erased it. I almost started writing about stress but the idea is to reduce it NOT start it up again. **sigh**

So here I am without a topic. Without any idea what I'd truly like to say... however, as I go along, I believe the words reveal itself.

I have been blessed with so many talents. I really have. And I don't say it to brag. I say it to acknowledge that I know they are there as a blessing from God. What amazes me sometimes is just how much I'm able to accomplish and yet still feel so inadequate. I feel like I fall short as a wife because husband isn't that grateful for ALL the many things I do for him. If he is, I don't know how he shows it.

I wish I could go into detail about all of it without making the two of us look like buttheads.... but I can't. So the details will remain with me.

Love, as in life, is a series of cycles. Ups. Downs. I find at this moment that I would really love to hear my husband acknowledge my many sacrifices for him and HIS. I can't stand when he's short with me. It's always about him and rarely ever about MY DREAMS. He says they're too risky. I choose to live an extraordinary life but continue to allow husband to talk me out of it. **sigh**

For everybody in love, what is your secret for STAYING in love?

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Seasons Greetings



It's a beautiful day in the islands......

But I miss the seasons sometimes. Here in Hawai'i you got the wet season and the dry season and that's about it. I should be more grateful for the good fortune of having moderate temperatures all the year round. And I am... just sometimes I wish I could dress up in a turtleneck, boots, a nice leather coat, etc etc... you know what I mean. I just love to dress up and actually watch the seasons change. **heavy sigh**

I took this picture with my sprint phone, on the way home from the mall. What a beautiful day!!!

Seasons Greetings EVERYONE!!

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Just Yesterday

Where does all the time go?

Just yesterday, wasn't it my 21st birthday? I was headed out to the club. Young, single and 100% LEGAL. And didn't I get my boogie on with SEVERAL different prospective dates for the following weekend? Hmmm... I seem to remember a few too many tequila shots. A few too many DIPS on the dance floor and a mess load of birthday kisses.

Yesterday was my 16th birthday. I was headed to the mall to do some "ME" time. Yep. I bought me an LL poster, a Gladys Knights greatest hits CD, some cookies from Mrs. Fields and called it a day. My mama gave me the keys to her van and I just drove. It was so relaxing. Happy Sweet 16!

Just yesterday was my 13th birthday. I woke up that morning and saw a whole bunch of my cousins in the living room. Wow, I thought. Totally Cool!! WE hung out. Everybody was cooking for some big event. I went outside, helped my sister decorate the garage. Then my friends started coming over and I just thought the day couldn't get any better. What my mama had done... she planned me a surprise birthday party. She had me decorating and tellin' folks where to hang the crepe paper and where to put the balloons. LOL... that's so me!

The other day was my eighth birthday. We were camping at the beach. I got baptized then we had a HUGE party complete with games. I still remember the outfit I was wearing. Pink shorts and a red and white shirt with ruffles. Oh my goodness. It was the most fun in the entire world. Life was simple then.

Just yesterday was my fourth birthday. I think I had the most BEAUTIFUL cake in all the world. It was a Snow White cake. I had never heard of Snow White until that evening. I don't think I've ever watched the movie either but I will tell you that it was the most BEAUTIFUL cake in all the world. It was time to sing happy birthday and I remember being so touched by all the love I felt that evening. I sat behind my cake, tears in my eyes and a big smile on my face while everyone sang. I'm gonna dig out that picture and show yall just how beautiful it was.

Where did all the time go?

Saturday, December 03, 2005

Never Been Married?

If anyone has ever said that marriage is the easiest thing on earth, they either have never been married OR wasn't in LOVE with their spouse.

I love my husband. When we're hammering away at the issues in our relationship, we often get into these BIG arguments. He can't stand when I cry. I can't stand that he criticizes the tears. **sigh** It just exacerbates the problem and makes it bigger than it should be. Really, the only problem is communication. If we were both communicating effectively, we would be able to agree to disagree. And that has been hard for us.

I am EXTREMELY grateful for my husbands presence in my life. I honor him and bless the day we first crossed paths. He fits in my world most of the time. I am wayyyy more agressive than he is and it scares him to death. I am not afraid of failure. I am NOT afraid to try ANYTHING and that scares him as well. **sigh**

So we've been compromising.... if you CANNOT learn to do that, marriage is just NOT for you.