3 Things: A Star Is Born

VIDEO: 3 Things - A Star Is Born
Ok. Who wants to take me to see this movie... again? 
I don't know what creates sparks between two people but I am aware enough to know that it doesn't happen with everyone, both romantically and with new friends you meet. I absolutely love that magic that happens with new love. Remembering new love fuels everything in the relationship that follows. 
The magic that happened between my current beau and I continues to push us forward. He calls it love at first sight. He said he knew there was something magical between us the minute he laid his eyes on me. And I have to concur. You can't even make up the circumstances behind our meeting. When it's time for love to walk in, it's time. 
I have never been shy about love. My heart is wide open. I don't stop myself from feeling. Does that make sense? Some people who have been hurt in the past tend to cut off their feelings. I'm not one of those. If I feel love, I move with it even against all logic. I know how to follow my heart like that. And now, more than I ever have in the past, I know how to stand on my own two feet and not worry about what people around me think about my life choices. No one has to understand me or my choices. I am the only one that has to understand it. 

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FOLLOW ME

Black Panther: A Brief Hawaiian History Lesson and Such

This is a movie review but not really. This is my reaction to Black Panther, the Marvel Comic movie that was just released in theaters. I'm sure you have read all the reviews by prominent journalists and you've watched all the trailers and all the interviews of the cast, the production crew, and the creative staff. But this right here is MY reaction to the movie as a Pacific Island woman.

I think the movie is fantastic whether or not the cast and crew was all-Black or not. I know this has been a source of pride for the African-American community. And they should feel proud and see the possibility in it. There are no limits but the ones that we place on ourselves. The true treasure and the beauty of good story-telling is that the story applies to all people, across all cultures, and socio-economic statuses. The entertainment value can be had across the board. I am not a huge Marvel Comic fan. I don't know all the stories of all the super heroes. I couldn't tell you that Black Panther marries Storm or any of that without someone else telling me. And I don't usually enjoy super-hero-comic-book movies. My ex can testify to the fact that I actually fall asleep in movies like this. However, what piqued my interest in this movie is the fact that the superhero character was not-White.

When I was a little girl, there wasn't anyone that looked like me on T.V. (There still aren't many that look like me but at least there's the Rock, Dwayne Johnson representing the Samoan community. My mother is Samoan and my father is Hawaiian.) I remember being so excited about seeing Tisha Campbell on Rags to Riches. Around the same time, The Cosby Show came on the scene, A Different World, and a slew of other shows that featured not-White people. I say this only to make the point that I was looking for representation in the media. I was looking for something that I could identify with, people that looked more like me, whose experience was similar to mine.

The victory of this movie is that it embeds in the rising generation of not-White people, especially African-Americans, a sense of pride and identity. I remember my ex-husband doing a DNA test from ancestryDOTcom. He being a Black man from Alabama, the difficulty of tracing his roots back to Africa through a paper trail was next to impossible. The DNA test was the best bet to figure out where, exactly, in Africa he is most likely from. The results came back with Cameroon and Benin. The elation he felt just knowing that he had a history outside of American culture was very exciting and I felt joy for his discovery. For me, I had many cultural practices handed down to me by both my mother and father. Rich traditions that I will carry with me until the day I die.


I was born in 1975 at a point in Hawaiian history where the mother-tongue was almost eliminated from the consciousness of Hawaiian people. Although English is the common language used in Hawai'i, it is NOT the language of the aboriginal people of Hawai'i, rather English is the language of the colonizer (United States). The late 70's and early 80's saw a renaissance of Hawaiian culture, the language was revived, navigation of the ocean was revived, cultural protocol and practices were revived, and pride in being a Hawaiian found new life. My father's generation was the first to assimilate into the American way of life. They were not taught the mother-tongue even though it was still spoken at home amongst the older folks. My father says that they were discouraged from learning it as they would need to learn English to be able to operate in America. He swells with pride when he sees his grandchildren speak the mother-tongue today as it reminds him of his childhood. 
The Hawaiian monarchy and Queen Lili'uokalani (lee-lee-ooh-o-ka-lawn-ee) was overthrown by the children of American Christian missionaries in 1893 with the full support of the U.S. Navy. The prominence and wealth of the children of these American Christian missionaries was had on the backs of laborers imported from China, Japan, and the Philipines because the local population (Hawaiian people) were unwilling to work the sugar cane fields. During The American Civil War, the North would import sugar from Hawai'i to cut off economic support to the South. It was a perfect opportunity for those Christian missionaries to profit off the War. This is the reason there is a large population of Asians in Hawai'i and the intermarriage between all the different races has diluted the Hawaiian blood quantum severely. By 1900 Hawai'i was annexed as a territory of the United States and in 1959 (my father was a Senior in High School) Hawai'i became the 50th State. 
In Black Panther we see a kingdom hidden from the world at the precipice of change. It's ability to shield itself from the outside world is probably the reason it was able to exist for millenia WITHOUT outside interference of their way of life. I point out the scene where T'Challa must release his panther powers and rightfully defend his claim to the throne. Their perfect utopic society is admirable steeped in protocol valued more for its tradition rather than necessity. 
I love the way this movie brings forward the strength of the feminine. In Wakanda, the throne is defended by an all-female army. The most poised, loyal, and fierce female warriors are charged with guarding the royal family and protecting the borders of the land. We rarely see this type of archetype in American movies. Most women are portrayed in the media a certain way. It is refreshing that the writers and directors saw fit to give women a powerful presence. 
On the flip side, what are the effects of the shifting gender roles? Recently, the U.S. military repealed regulations that barred women from serving in infantry positions. Women can now join an infantry unit and fight on the front lines in a conflict. Another comic-book-turned-movie, Wonder Woman, also portrayed female warriors. 
We live in an age where the clearly defined roles once assigned based on the sex of a person are being obliterated. What does that mean? It means that there are no clear gender roles anymore. One cannot assume anything about anyone based on their "chosen" gender. For instance, in the past the role of a man in a marriage was to be the provider and the protector. We see that going away as women are now career-oriented and make up a large portion of the workforce. In many cases, Women/Wives are now the breadwinners and some men are now "house husbands."  And now same-sex couples can enter into marriage, there can be no assigned roles based on sex. 
I cannot imagine what the world will look like in five or ten years when the clear gender lines have completely gone away. Generation X, my generation, ushered in this new era of blurred gender roles. We put the first women into the work force and our generation pushed women into College and University en mass. As women become educated and empowered, the gender lines have to go away. It is a natural cause and effect. Where will the millenials take this? Only time will tell.

Poetic Justice: "Her Heart" Version

I spent my Saturday night curled up in bed, feeling ill, craving sleep but unable to shut my eyes. My mind is always on overdrive, overthinking decisions that need to be made, and turning over past choices that I have not made peace with yet. And of all the mindless things that I could do, I selected watching a movie on Hulu to help pass the time. I nixxed the writing for one evening and sat through an entire movie. It's rare for me to have attention enough to sit still and look at a movie without being distracted by social media or the call to write or read a good book. My selection that evening was John Singleton's, Poetic Justice starring Janet Jackson as the lead opposite the late Tupac Shakur. I am a huge John Singleton fan and am sad that he has not put out anything recently. He exploded on the scene in the early 90's with his debut film, Boyz N the Hood. It was, by far, the movie of my teenage life! Though I could never actually relate to the gang lifestyle of South Central L.A. it certainly was a gripping story and portrayal of what goes on in the inner cities of L.A.

Poetic Justice also touches on the issues that hamper young people's lives in L.A. but this is told from the perspective of a young female writer, Justice, played by Janet Jackson. Her escape from her reality is her poetry. I have only watched the movie once prior to this screening. Even though I have always identified with being a writer, the first time I watched it back in the mid-90's, I did not connect with the character of Justice. This time around was so different.

The movie is about love. It's about how this young urban woman deals with her personal issues and how it relates to her finding love. Justice is very skiddish about the idea of opening her heart. In the opening scene, she is at a drive-in theatre with her boyfriend who, based on their dialogue, just got out of lock-up. For young readers that are not familiar with a drive-in theatre, you take your own car into a parking lot where a huge screen is set up to project a film. The sound is either set to a certain radio station that you tune in to or you can park near a speaker that you are able to hear the movie. It is quite an intimate setting as movie-goers are able to carry on conversations or do what lovers do and are still able to maintain a small bit of privacy.

One of my most favorite dates of all time happened at the drive-in theatre. It was after my junior prom. My date and I doubled with my best friend and her date, which was also a good friend of my date. I look back at it with fondness because of the level of respect that was observed between all of us. There was no pressure for any hanky-panky physical activities. The four of us genuinely had a good time and the movie we watched was, White Men Can't Jump, starring Wesley Snipes.

Anyway, Justice's boyfriend is trying desperately to have physical relations with her. She nervously asks him why he loves her. Without skipping a beat he says, "Cause you fine!" She is thoroughly unimpressed by this answer and pushes him off. She distracts him by saying that she wants some popcorn and jujubees. He is reluctant to go but he is still trying to impress her. He exits the car, takes a few steps toward the snackbar then races back to the car. He tells her, "You want to know what I love about you? I loved that you sent me all those nice poems when I was locked up." She blushes. For a deep-feeling person like Justice, that was the right answer or at least a large step in the right direction.

I can certainly identify with Justice's search for a man that can see into her and not just her physical beauty. I know that has always been the most important thing to me - that a man could see my soul as it is and love that part of me the most. Physical beauty fades. I don't pretend to be the most gorgeous thing on the planet and most times I feel awkward or average even though admirers gush about my looks. For me, the best parts of me cannot be seen with human eyes. It can only be observed soul-to-soul. Anthony Hamilton sings a song, Her Heart. The lyrics are so beautiful to me and the melody adds a touch of sadness that can only come from a man with so much regret for hurting the only woman who loved him with such completeness.

I know you love me more than me
And you vowed to love through anything
I never had a kind of love that was forever

And as you cried in my arms
You woke up my heart
And I saw again what I found in you
Cuz her love, her love
Won't let me lose her
No matter how I try
I just can't say goodbye and lose her

I point out this particular song and these lyrics because it shows the extent to which a man pushes his woman until he could really see into the heart and soul of her. It is almost as if he takes her to the verge of breaking her heart before he can actually see her true value. For me, this type of realization is crucial and yet may come a little too late.

Justice's boyfriend dies in the next scene right there in the drive-in, before her very eyes. You can see and feel her heart seize up and become as stone. The rest of the movie attempts to follow Justice along this path towards opening her heart again. Watching the movie with this as the sole objective of the story changes how I view this love story. Though I still cannot understand the merciless killing and loss of her boyfriend in that manner, I do know what it's like to lose someone that I loved so much. Whether it was my first husband or my second, I know what it is like to be cut off from the man that I love. And it hurts like hell. I can pretend that I'm moving on and going towards someone that will take care of my heart but am I really? I can make comparisons across the board with old love and new love and there really is no comparison if I am looking at it strictly from the standpoint of who can really see and appreciate my heart and soul in its totality!

Sure, new love is exciting and brand new. There is no history of hurt and the magic and the chemistry is intoxicating... yet there are so many flaws in it's expression. I may seem like an independent woman with all her ducks in a row but that is so shallow for someone to only be attracted to that part of me. What I want is someone who can see into the heart of me and know me. Someone that knows every trial I have faced, knows the emotional battles I've fought, the pain I have weathered, and still wants to be in my corner to hold me together. And if a man has no interest in seeing that part of me then why would I waste my time on it? Lust? The magic of those fluttering butterflies in my belly? Now that would be shallow of me and so surface and unlike me.

When Justice finally opens up to Lucky, played by Tupac Shakur, she exposes parts of her past that illustrates why she is so hardened by life's trials. Lucky has the choice of running from that type of emotional pressure. Some people are not meant to bare the load. Some people are not equipped with that type of emotional depth and stability to want to stay around. In the end, Lucky knows she's worth the risk of loving a woman so hardened by life. And that, that is what I want. That is what I deserve.

Like Justice, I cannot be so guarded about my heart. I cannot pretend to be this strong woman when all I feel is weakness inside and I have to let a man in so that he is able to provide that support that I am craving. I cannot say that I am open to new love and not give him a shot at being everything I need him to be. I have to open my heart space up and tell him what I need and let him in on what makes me tick. I have to expose my battle wounds and let him see the scar tissue that makes me who I am. What is priceless to me is when a man can support me with all my ambitions and get behind 100% of all of my dreams no matter how ridiculous they might sound to him. It takes a secure man to see my potential, believe in it, and move out the way so that I can do what I do. I cherish that. It's what I deserve and it's what I received this morning so unexpectedly. And the butterflies that were a mild flutter has suddenly blossomed into rapid, pulsating waves of affection.

...When One Is Born From the Last...

The way it was told to me goes like this:

Quick Review - King Drac saves the kingdom but wifey dies, but she gives him all her blood to save their son. She tells him she will see him in her next life. 800 years later they run into each other and she is drawn to him and he to her.

With that great review, I had to make some time to watch Dracula Untold. I was not expecting a love story at all but it was indeed a love story mixed with great action scenes and computer graphics. 

There was one particular scene that made me tear up. Prince Vlad is experiencing angst over his decision to be a vampire to save his people and defeat the Turks. He must send his wife away to the monks while he remains behind to finish the Turks. His beautiful wife tells him, remember our vows?

Why think separately of 

this life and the next

when one is born 

from the last

The words of the poem - so easy and beautiful. A google search reveals that that poem is a verse in Love and Death by Rumi. Prince Vlad and his wife embrace, they kiss as they part ways. Prince Vlad heading into battle to single-handedly defeat the Turk army with his supernatural, vampiric powers. His Princess leaving with their child to flee from the chaos. Their passion for each other was so real on the screen. I felt like I was peeking in on a private moment between a real couple rather than two actors. There was a sense of urgency that was almost tangible.

My niece recently played the starring role in her school's rendition of AIDA. I was so moved by her performance. I am so proud of how talented and smart my nieces and nephews are and that's not a biased opinion. They really are so smart and so respectful and so talented. I am so grateful that they have such good parents to guide them on this life journey.

The short story line behind AIDA is kind of similar to how Dracula Untold was explained to me -- it's about a romance that spans several lifetimes. Aida is enslaved by an Egyptian general. He gives Aida as a gift to his fiancee, the Pharoah's daughter. However, the attraction between the general and Aida grows and they become lovers right under the nose of the Pharoah's daughter. When their love affair is discovered, the Pharoah's daughter sentences them to death and the mercy she gives them is that they may be entombed together. The closing scene shows the general and Aida being entombed. Immediately after, the same two characters that played Aida and the general appear on stage in different clothing, from a different era, looking at the tomb of the two lovers. They look at each other as if there is something familiar between them and thus another love affair, in another lifetime begins again.

This brings me back to the significance of the poem:

Why think separately of this life and the next when one is born from the last?

I want to think that the relationships I have here and in this world were born from the last... not just the romantic ones but all of the friendships and familial ties! I think of a particular instance when my #3 niece was just learning to talk. She was probably two or three and we were having this very intense discussion about something. I can't recall. She turned to me and said, "Remember Aunty? It happened when I was bigger than you." Without skipping a beat, I asked her what we looked like and she went on and on about it and then suddenly stopped and changed the subject. I could not get her back to revisiting the lifetime when she was bigger than me. Since that moment, this niece of mine has a special place in my heart because of her remembrance of our lifetime before.

With the demise of both of my marriages, I feel like maybe there might be something wrong with me. That somehow, the way I deal with things in a relationship is not conducive to fostering longevity. So if I did indeed know both of my husbands from a previous lifetime and we repeat these same relationships then I suppose I am not learning a thing. There is something I am doing that causes the failure of the relationship even though I have a great desire to be loved and to give love completely and through all generations of time. I love to be in love. I want these love affairs to move in sync from lifetime to lifetime.

I am reminded of Erykah Badu's song, Next Lifetime. She talks about how she's in a relationship, maybe a marriage, but felt a strong attraction to another man. She is resigned to the fact that nothing can come of their mutual attraction to each other. Instead, she tells him that she'll see him NEXT LIFETIME. I can say, emphatically, that I have never allowed myself to be attracted to another man while I was married. I pride myself on my stubborn loyalty to both men that I was married to. When I say "I Do," I really mean it. I may not be the best girlfriend but I am a damn loyal wife.

Now that my world has opened up again, I am allowing myself to feel attraction again. I am opening up my energy field to the men around me. While I was married, I closed that part of me off to anyone. My love energy was not available to anyone but my husband. I'm sad that he allowed himself to be attracted to other women and rather be single and free. I have been thinking of him so often in the past couple of days. I hope he is well. I hope he is happy. I've always wanted that for him even if it's without me. I wish him happiness and joy. Though I miss him so much, it's more because I just spent the last thirteen years sharing the same space with him. The man he has become in the last year is definitely not the one that I married so he can continue on in his evolution / devolution. One day, maybe in my/our next lifetime, we will get it right and we both can heal the parts of us that are hurting. I suppose the same could be said of the other man I loved so completely (my first husband). **heavy sigh**

#iStillBelieveInLove

Life Lessons in a Movie: After Earth

WARNING: Totally biased review from a Will Smith fan!

After Earth came out this weekend. I have been looking forward to this movie since they first started playing the trailers. I think Will Smith is so very talented. I remember when I first seen/heard Parents Just Don't Understand on Yo!MTV Raps back in the 80's. It was sing-songy-sweet and innocent enough for my parent's to, ironically, understand. So here we are about 25 years after Parents Just Don't Understand. The Fresh Prince is now a father in real life, a husband, and largest donor of the New Village Leadership Academy. I love that he and wife Jada Pinkett are heavily invested in an elementary school and word is that they are looking to expand into high school. I quote their mission statement from their website:

The New Village Leadership Academy is dedicated to the cultivation of powerful, self-educating leaders - men and women of virtue, wisdom and courage. We are nurturing extraordinary thinkers who are capable of creating healthy, happy, purposeful lives - world citizens who inspire greatness in others and propel humankind toward the greater good.

Can there be a better Mission Statement than that? I would want all those things for my children. POWERFUL. Men and women of VIRTUE, WISDOM, COURAGE. EXTRAORDINARY THINKERS. PURPOSEFUL lives; world citizens who INSPIRE GREATNESS in others. I am amazed -- MOVED -- by their mission statement. Frankly, Smith & Pinkett's vision for the future is inspiring and is a perfect intro for the life lessons I learned in After Earth.

Actually, before I list the LIFE LESSONS I have to give some background information about the movie. I mentioned how talented Will Smith is earlier in this post. We can add to his list of accomplishments - DIRECTOR. According to IMDB, Will Smith did most of the directing while M. Night Shyamalan did the artistic work of camera positions and how a scene is composed, etc. Smith was also fully involved in the development of the screenplay and story line. Impressive! Will Smith never ceases to amaze me (I could probably do a full thesis on each of the movies he has appeared in). The movie is chock full of 1-liners that will probably be classics in a few decades but could actually be a guide on becoming our best selves collectively... right now!

So here's my list of lessons I've learned from the movie in my own personal affirmation. I'm not going to explain each of them or how I came to learn a lesson because that would spoil the movie for those who haven't seen it. For those who have seen the movie -- the lessons should spark a memory of the movie.

1. Fear is manufactured. Even in the face of danger, I will not let fear be my guide.
2. I will take deep breaths and ground myself in the earth to clear my mind.
3. I will allow all the good things that my parents have taught me be my guide especially when they are gone from my life.
4. I will never take for granted the beauty and magnificence of Mother Earth.
5. I am on my own journey and I can do hard things.
6. I will change the negative stories in my life, deal with them, put them to rest then charge full speed ahead..... NO FEAR!!!

Birthday Reflections

I celebrated my 37th birthday yesterday. This year has been a year of changes. So last birthday was the first one I spent without my mother. I miss her dearly and can't believe it's been more than a year since she's been gone. Wow. Time flies!

My day began at the fitness center, putting in my 40-minute workout. I weighed myself in and lost 3.5 lbs since Wednesday. Amazing! A recent health scare is begging attention. My extra pounds is causing all kind of havoc in my body. The biggest concern: Type 2 Diabetes. Consequently, Type 2 Diabetes contributes to my issues with fertility. I visited an infertility specialist at the end of July and she confirmed my suspicions. My ovaries suffer from Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. So -- all my extensive rants over the years about losing weight MUST happen here and now. I want to increase the quality of my life as I age.

After the fitness center, husband and I had lunch at Ruby Tuesdays -- who can pass up the salad bar and the marvelous pumpernickel croutons? I ordered the petite sirloin with steamed broccoli and mashed cauliflower. That was the first time I had mashed cauliflower and I thoroughly enjoyed. It's low on the carb scale. That is my goal: to reduce my intake of carbs. I've been doing a lot of reading on reducing carbs in my diet. This does not mean that I will increase my protein calories. In fact, I  am going to limit my protein also. 75% of my plate will be veggies; a salad, a steamed veggie + a protein, preferably fish, chicken, or turkey. It's so time to make changes!

**SPOILER ALERT**
After lunch, we were just in time to catch the matinee showing of Total Recall. I loved it! I just love how the creative team behind the movie imagined the future. The gadgets made me slightly nauseous because of the implications of that type of technology in the modern era. There was this cylinder that gets shot into the room. Attached to the cylinder are like 40 mini cameras that disperse once the cylinder lodges into an object. The 40 cameras spray into the room in every direction, lodges itself in whatever is around and starts sending a signal back to whoever shot the cylinder. Spooky but so imaginative and useful in military arts. The movie also presents a cell phone that is inserted beneath the skin in the palm of your hand. So weird! You can put your hand up to a glass and it projects an image of whoever it is you are talking to. Wow!

The action was great also. The chase scenes and the gun scenes were fantastic. On top of that is the psycho manipulation stuff. What's real and what is "recall"?

I loved seeing two of the Underworld actors show up in the movie: Kate Beckinsale (villain) and Bill Nighy (he actually played a hero in this movie rather than the villain).

Overall, I really enjoyed it. Science Fiction is still one of my favorite genres. It has to be good though. Some of the stuff on SyFy is way too cheesy.

**SPOILER END**

I ended off my day with a barbecue at home. My brother, sis-in-law, and cuzzy Mahea made all kinds of delicious stuff for the grill. Awesome, I tell ya! We watched the Womens 100m final. Boy was that a race!

This year I hope to be the healthiest I have ever been. I hope to write my first novel and publish it (self-publish if I have to). This year I want financial freedom -- debt free by next years birthday, God-willing!

Happy 37th Birthday to Me!

Movie Review: The Way

 Photo Credit
**SPOILER ALERT**

So there's an American.
A Dutch guy with a healthy appetite looking to lose some weight.
A Canadian lady battling addiction.
And an angry Irish Man suffering from writer's block then finding it.

So begins the story of a dead anthropologist who breathes new life into his father (the American) by, oddly, dying. **shrugs**

Great premise, right? Intriguing, to say the least.

The movie introduced me to the "El camino de Santiago", a Christian pilgrimage that was popular in medieval times. There are several routes to travel but the most popular begins in St Jean Pied de Port on the French Side and ends 780 kilometers later in Santiago, Spain. 780 kilometers is about 485 miles. Historically people walked the entire way but biking has become a popular means of travel.

The American is summoned to recover the body of his dead son who died along the El camino de Santiago and so begins his journey to complete the pilgrimage for his son. Along the way he meets the Dutch guy who needs to lose some weight, a Canadian lady battling addiction, and an angry Irish Man suffering from writer's block. They each find the completion of the journey to be the event that marks the beginning of a new life.

And so ends the story of travelers on different journeys who become friends, inseparable. They started on separate paths that consequently led them to purge themselves and unburden their souls from things that weighed them down....TOGETHER. We all travel along that road, making friends, and making peace with guilt and the burden of guilt. This makes the movie so relevant, so believable, so connected with humanity's plight.

FAVORITE ELEMENTS:
-Political and meaningful/meaningless discussion amongst fellow travelers
-The beautiful architecture
-The scene featuring the Gypsy man, his son, and the entire Gypsy village
-The selection of MUSIC

I'm feeling the itch to go on an adventure.
To experience the world in all its splendor and glory.
To see and taste the vivid colors of the human family.
To unshackle myself from the smallness of duty and commitment.
To be liberated of meaningless rules that hold me down.
Life is in living; not in NOT doing!

Movie Review: Warlords

This post is a reaction to The Warlords, starring Jet Li. **SPOILER ALERT**

All my life I have always been interested in all of my genealogical blood lines. China has been my muse as of late mostly because it is the largest gap I have in my family history. My great grandfather was pure Chinese. He made his way to Hawai'i on a ship delivering sugar cane workers. My grandfather's brother recounted that he arrived in Honolulu and gambled much of the time. He made his way to Kaua'i following the horse races and there met my great grandmother, a pure Hawaiian. They married or co-habitated -- I'm unsure if they ever married -- and produced my grandfather and his siblings. My Chinese bloodline stops at him. Now that I'm back in Hawai'i I can attempt to locate a ship manifest to make the connection back to China. Thus, all things Chinese has been my biggest interest.

Enter the movie, The Warlords.

The Warlords tells a universal story about war. Set in China with the Imperial Ching Army being the bad guys and the Taiping rebels being the good. The best stories are always about "the little guy" victoring over the giant. Jet Li's character is the central character of the story and starts out as a general in the Imperial Army. He joins the rebellion after being betrayed by another general. He merges with two men from a village to create a brotherhood. They enter into a blood oath to always defend each other OR kill each other for betraying the oath. The movie follows the battles that are led by the brotherhood. Their ruthlessness and determination separates them from the rest of the armies. In the beginning, the brotherhood serves their collective desires to raise their families and their village from the depths of poverty. By the ending, their brotherhood unravels as Jet Li's character is lured into his own self-serving desires.

A particular point in the movie caught my attention and has left me somewhat dazed. I can't seem to describe the stupor I was in after this particular scene. One of the 'brothers' goes into the biggest city and single-handedly conquers it by attempting to form an alliance. What happens instead is a one-on-one combat between the 'brother' and the ruler of the city. The ruler of the city gracefully sacrifices himself to save the lives of his subjects, knowing full well that they will be massacred if he didn't. The ruler does it upon one condition -- that the 'brotherhood' spare the lives of the civilians as well as his soldiers. 'Brother' agrees and gives his word that he will keep his promise and the ruler dies by the sword.

Brother leads the civilians of the great city out and returns to the Taiping army having conquered the city by killing the ruler. He is burdened by the committment that he had made to the ruler but intends to keep the promise he had made. Jet Li's character, in savage yet calculated fashion, rounds up the army of the great city and locks them into the city. Jet Li has intentions of killing the entire army of the great city rather than merging. He points out the limited resources that are available for their own army. It would be impossible to feed, house, and outfit the new soldiers without taking from their own soldiers. The Brother asserts his promise to the ruler and pleads mercy upon the conquered army. Jet Li refuses and annihilates the conquered army. Brother is defeated and completely broken by his inability to keep a promise that he had made... even if the promise was made to an enemy.

Perhaps it was the brilliant acting by Brother or the recognition of similar moments in my life that enchanted me. Perhaps a combination of both. Either way, to be placed in such a precarious position to respect the blood oath that was made between Brother and Jet Li or to maintain personal integrity by keeping a committment that has been made. What a decision! The remainder of the movie is spent watching the brotherhood unravel.

How similar life is. One compromise. One single moment of inability to maintain integrity leads to the demise of a fabulous partnership. Life is strewn with single moments of errors and in the end, it's totally up to you and up to me whether we remain in error or reconcile our life fully. Whatever bugs you can be overcome and conquered. Broken agreements can be rectified and begins with forgiving yourself of the misdeed and vowing to never do it again.

Movie Review Epiphany

I recently watched the movie, Children of Men. The movie details a world where humans are no longer able to procreate. It sounds so morbid. What is also evident in the movie is a world that pits the common citizen against the government. If you are not WITH the government then you are labeled a terrorist.

I happen to think we are moving toward that kind of world. A world where infertility becomes the norm. With vaccinations being pushed on us at every turn and our total inability to verify what's in the vaccinations, infertility could very well be the result along with every other disease that is spreading like wildfire. I also believe that many diseases are engineered in a laboratory then tested on humans without consent. Think of the HIV/ AIDS epidemic that proliferated in the late 70's. Odd that it only affected a portion of the world that included the poor minority (third world), the homosexual, and the drug addict. This then turned into a moral judgment, by a good portion of the general population, on those that had become infected. Where did the virus originate and could it have really been isolated within the poor, gay, drug addicted community? The topic is something I think about in the face of my own inability to conceive.

The main characters of the movie stand in opposition of the government. They are labeled "terrorist" and are all in a concerted effort to get a pregnant woman to a safe haven. In the safe haven, scientists are attempting to figure out why, for 18 years, all pregnancies resulted in miscarriages and then eventually no pregnancies, then... no children.

I find the terrorist label to be something that already exists in this era, as it appeared in previous periods of history. Just after World War II Americans were afraid of "communists" and now it's the "terrorists". I think it's safe to say that ANYONE that doesn't support the government has the possibility of ending up on the governments naughty list. If you sit back and think of some of the most admirable characters in history, you'd find that most of them have been imprisoned at some point in their life.

There are two conclusions that I draw from this. The first is that man's law (the government) is faulty. If they imprisoned good men/ women that promoted higher ideals and higher moral codes of conduct, what does that say of the institution that locked them up? A few names that come to mind:

Jesus... and his disciples.

Nelson Mandela.

Gandhi.

Assata Shakur.

Biblical -- Meshach, Shadrach, and Abednego (my favorite bible story).

The last ruling monarch of the Kingdom of Hawai'i, Queen Lili'uokalani.

The second conclusion I make is that I refuse to be on the "wrong" side just because it's easier. The easier path, for most people, is to comply with the powers that be. I imagine that it probably would have been easier for Jesus to succumb to the will of the Jewish majority and the Roman government. His disciples, as revealed by stories in the New Testament, had a tough time in affirming their connection to Jesus. And yet, Jesus persevered and did what he came to the earth to do.

You can select any name from my list and attempt to prove me wrong. (You probably have more that you could add to this list.) They were revolutionaries and I admire them for their courage and I desire to align myself with them.

The entire premise of this post was two-fold. First, to express my vaccination woes. Second, to point out the obvious relation between revolutionary leaders being pitted against the government. Please, never be on the wrong side.

I don't think that I am more apt to believe all the bad things in the world. I wholly believe in the good in the universe and that we, human beings, have the capacity to rise above the lust for power and greed. We have the power to use our minds, our souls, and our hearts to make correct decisions that will direct the course of our eternal lives. It is our duty to steer others from a life that is void of free will. May your path always seek to preserve free agency for all!

Ladies Night: Sex & the City

Carrie Bradshaw (Sarah Jessica Parker) has to be one of the best characters, ever, in the history of chic flicks.

This post is for those who are not fans of the series or movie because I know that you obviously haven't seen either.

The series is based loosely on a book by Candace Bushnell, coupled with a column she wrote for The New York Observer. She says of the character, Carrie Bradshaw, "she's my alter ego". Four powerful, strong, career women are best friends in New York City. The series follows their lives, seperately, and together. They cover all kinds of issues in a comedic, over-the-top yet real-life way. I first started watching it religiously in 2003, when my ex-husband dumped me. Everytime I tuned in, I felt like I was sitting in on a really good conversation with my best girlfriends. In fact, many shows were the jumpoff for real-life conversations. Female fantasies about love and romance; relationship problems; and the issues that continually come up in love, marriage, and true friendship.

The series follows all four women and their problems with LOVE, romance, and sex. It is the funniest, real-est show about friends. The writers for the show are outstanding! The locale is fun and exciting. Beautiful, even. The fashion is fabulous. I know I had dreams about wearing stiletto Manolo Blahniks -- if only it were made in Polynesian-Feet sizes with the Payless price. The drama and comedy of it all still warms me. I think it's because I feel like they're my real friends that I've experienced all of their heartaches and happiness with. Isn't that what bonds us to our friends in real life? That we're able to laugh and cry without being judged for our imperfections?

The movie picks up where the series left off. Carrie and Bigg. I don't remember what season Bigg enters the series but he becomes the man that Carrie always wants to run back to. Even through all her relationships, including one that relocates her to Paris, the only man she ever fantasizes about is the one she can't have. Bigg. He is a self-professed BACHELOR and wants to stay that way forever.

The final episode of the final season places Carrie in Paris with a love interest that she thinks is "the one". The show is so cleverly written that we, the audience, have a huge love-hate relationship with Bigg right along with Carrie. So as we see Carrie leave New York for Paris with her new man, we know that she is still ever in love with Bigg and yet we sympathize with her and want her to move on because Bigg is just NOT READY to commit. Don't we see that in our best girlfriends lives? Maybe even in our own? In the closing scenes of the final episode, Bigg is in Paris searching for Carrie, to profess his love. As all good drama goes, they always seem to miss each other. Finally, in the end, they meet on the streets of Paris and Carrie realizes that she was made for Bigg and he for her. They return to New York and that closes out the series.

The movie picks up from there and Carrie and Bigg are set to finally get married. They go through the motions of planning a huge wedding complete with all the festivities and pomp of high society. They're scheduled to wed at in a gorgeous library. The gown, flawless. Everything is perfect. Right before the ceremony is to start, Bigg decides that he can't go through with it. All serious Sex & the City fans know that it had to be that way. Bigg would not be true to character if he actually went through with the BIG wedding.

The movie follows her as she processes the grief. Her best friends accompany her to the honeymoon. Best friends do that for each other. In this portion of the movie, I'm in tears and thinking about my closest friends that pulled me through the grief of my divorce. That's what I equate the hurt that Carrie was experiencing with. Even though all my conversations in that dark period of my life led to tears, they still hung with me and helped me through it. I bless their presence in my life. My mom was such a blessing too. What can a person do after being gilted? It's not like Carrie wanted to ever speak to him again and yet she did want to speak to him, to try and make sense of the senseless. The same thing happened to me after the ex and I finally signed divorce papers. I desperately wanted to speak to him but didn't want to, at the same time! Mad, sad, hurt... all of it!

There are several portions in the movie that brought me to tears. Happy tears and sad tears. The movie is so emotional and multi-faceted, like a woman is. In one scene, Carrie rhetorically asks, "When will I ever laugh again?" Miranda (the redhead) answers, "When something is REALLLLY funny." The comic relief that finally breaks Carrie from her depression is so simple, yet so funny. It's a moment that can only be shared amongst true friends.

This movie has become my new, favorite chic flick. I usually have a desire to pull it out while I'm PMS'ing when I'm just looking for a reason to cry and feel melancholy. The movie that used to do that for me is called, A Mirror Has Two Faces. Another great chic flick. Get that one! Anyway, I could run down the whole movie for you but that would be a spoiler. Especially if you're going to watch it. It is Rated R for strong, sexual content. So if that's not your thing, get the edited version or wait til it comes out on TBS or something. I'm sure it will have all the necessary elements.

Ultimately, the movie reminds me of my best friends and how they've affected me. How they've supported me through the good, the bad, and the very ugly. It reminds me of love and romance and the issues that affect our relationships.

The Secret Life of Bee's and the Ramblings That Were In My Head

The Secret Life of Bees... I just got through watching the movie. I attempted reading the book several years ago but was thoroughly uninterested in the way the story was moving. I wonder if the movie is how the author intended the story to be portrayed.

In the media, there is an archetype and/or stereotype given to American Black women, pre-civil rights era. It is termed the "mammy" archetype. (FYI: According to wikipedia, "mammy" is now a slur.) The characters in the movie that portray these archetypes are Queen Latifah as well as Jennifer Hudson. They both mother a little Caucasian girl who is in search of someone to love her.

I don't necessarily object to the implied relationship between the little white girl, played by Dakota Fanning, and the "mammy's" because the story is probably a product of the time period. It astonishes me though that the same story is perpetuated throughout American Culture, in several American-made movies. White "savior" saves the brown people from themselves, as though we are helpless without them. I think of movies like The Last of the Dogmen starring Tom Berenger. He saves an ancient tribe from the outside world. Dances With Wolves - Kevin Costner gets absorbed by a native american tribe. The absence of multi-ethnic characters in the media of yester-year is staggering.

How a society views themself is shaped by the stories that are told. A hundred years from now, maybe two or three hundred years from now, what will our posterity say about us? That "grasshopper", from the Kung-Fu dramatic series of the 1970's, could only be played by a white male (David Carradine)? The role was written for Bruce Lee but he was too Chinese. Is that the story America will leave for it's posterity? That the founding fathers of the United States purported to believe that "All men were created equal", yet every single one of the people involved with the American Revolution owned slaves. Are these the only stories that can be told to America?

In traditional Polynesian cultures, we enjoy oral history. Western philosophy requires things to be written before it is considered a valid entry into it's history. However, Polynesians didn't need the documentation for proof. Our proof is in the stories that are handed down from generation to generation, in our genealogy that is carefully, painstakingly preserved in chant.

Children of Hawai'i grew up with stories of Maui, the demi-God who pulled the islands from the ocean so that we could live and flourish; who stopped the sun from progressing too quickly across the sky. My favorite, above all, are the tales of Pele the Fire Goddess. Though her lava flows destroy everything in its path, the lava creates more land and brings balance to the landscape. Her beauty, her shape-shifting, her jealousy, her love; they make her utterly human. Yet, her ability to create land make her a goddess. These are the stories I want to tell my children one day; that they are part of a beautiful, ancient heritage. That they must have strong, self-assured knowledge of who they are because of where they come from. That they will define themselves and identify wholely with the richness of their birthright.

Stories like the Secret Life of Bees will never fall on the ears of my children. And if they did, I will tell them more of the heritage from which they came. Even if the world would call Polynesians savages, my children will know the stories of our ancestors through me and they can determine who the real savages are. Me and my house will never bend to the whims of popular media. I decide my identity, not based on what "they" think of me but of what I think of myself.

NeenaLove drops the mic

**...Bees Photo Credit
**Grasshopper Photo Credit
**Maui Photo Credit
**Pele Photo Credit

A Review of Sorts

The very large topic of the subjugation of women has laid heavy on my mind for two simple reasons. The first reason - I just finished reading the book by Khaled Hosseini, A Thousand Splendid Suns. If you have plans of reading the book, stop reading this post now, as I may unravel details or the ending in a manner that might taint how you interpret the book.

A Thousand Splendid Suns, such a poetic title. So poetic, in fact, that at first glance I knew it wasn't a romance and that the title was satirical. It did, however, end up being about love. About unconditional, real love between friends and family. In relation to the subjugation of women, the story explicitly tells the tale of the Taliban and their treacherous domination over its citizens. To illustrate the topic, the book covers several forms of oppressive behavior. Physical and mental abuse, extreme poverty, near deification of natural-born sons rather than daughters, rape, murder, etc. The book was written beautifully, weaving in several historical events as well as places and classic Afghan literature.

The book left me heartbroken for Mariam, one of the key characters. In the closing chapters of the book, to defend herself and save the life of her fellow concubine, Laila, Mariam hits their abusive husband over the head until he dies. Mariam, wracked with guilt over her murderous act and wanting so very much to see that Laila's children live long lives and to see Laila be reunited with her true love, submits to the Taliban legal system. She gives herself as a sacrifice to allow the dreams of another to flourish. Triumphantly, she is put to death in the center of town, with a crowd both in awe and amazement at the courage that Mariam faced death with.


Reason #2 for this diatribe into the subjugation of women - I viewed the movie, Lilya 4-Ever. If you have plans of watching Lilya 4-Ever, stop reading this post now, as I will probably give away the entire movie here.

Lilya 4-Ever is a gem I found on Netflix. Sidebar: Netflix has a great selection of foreign films. I love love love foreign films because of the heavy topics they cover. The ones that I've selected, so far, have been gripping tales of the human condition. Anyway, Lilya 4-Ever is set in Estonia (once a part of the USSR). It is the tale of a 16-year old girl, Lilya, totally abandoned by her mother who up and moves to America. She is left to fend for herself and eventually turns to prostitution as a means of supporting herself and her little companion, Volodya - a boy abandoned by his parents. The graphic portrayal of how her life is lived, men penetrating her and grunting on top of her, broke my heart with the realization that this happens every day and has happened all throughout the history of the world.

Lilya falls prey to a handsome Russian, Sergei, who pretends to fall in love with her. He sends her to Sweden with the false promise of a better life and feigns to meet her there in two days time. With all her hopes and dreams for a better life fully intact and a newfound interest in living, Lilya leaves for Sweden. Overcome by despair and sadness because Lilya left him, Volodya ends his life. Sergei never shows and has sent Lilya directly into the hands of a small-time pimp. She is locked up in a single room and is only allowed to leave when the pimp has found her a "john". It seems she lives that way for weeks.

The apex comes when Volodya appears to Lilya as an angel and tells her that the door was left unlocked and she is free to go. She runs, without a clue on where to go, without a destination, utterly and totally WITHOUT hope. In the final moments of the film, Lilya climbs atop a highway over pass. Volodya is screaming at her not to do what he did -- to live life on her terms. Lilya, stuck in the violence called 'her life', jumps to her death.

The one unifying factor, in these two very extreme circumstances: THERE IS NO ESCAPE EXCEPT THROUGH DEATH. Bittersweet! Tragic! Triumphant, almost.

After experiencing the book then the movie, in succession, I realize how the world is in need of the healing powers of love. Women are charged with the task of being compassionate and forgiving and of teaching the world those special qualities. Though we are abused, though we are run into the ground with difficult choices, though we are subjected to burdensome loads; even through the drama of life, women will always triumph over the oppressor.


**Photo Credit for Thousand Splendid Suns
**Photo Credit for Lilya 4-Ever

Movie Review: Han.cock

Watched Hancock with husband and my brother and his wife. I found the movie HIGHLY unpredictable. It was really nice to be in a movie where I was still up in the air about "what-comes-next". Prior to this movie, I watched the latest Indiana Jones movie and that flopped horribly, even though I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the rest of the Indiana Jones series.

So anyway -- what I noticed first was the excessive bad language that is soooo not Wil Smith. I was quite surprised at the number of a-holes and b's were in the movie. Serious! It didn't look pretty on the Fresh Prince. I wish he skipped on the bad language. What is the reason for the language? What does a director or writer gain from adding the 'grown-up' words? First recommendation -- skip on taking the kids to this PG-13 movie until you can screen it and see if it's appropriate for your child.

Wil Smith is a superhero that suffers from amnesia. His performance was quite interesting. It was not one of my favorites but I'm still a big fan of the Fresh Prince. I wasn't feeling the scraggly look but I understand, as an actor, you have to change it up and try different roles or fall into typecast hell like Sanaa Lathan or Michael Beach.

I enjoyed Jason Bateman's performance. Remember him from the 80's sitcom classic, Silver Spoons? He plays a quirky, good-guy publicist in Hancock waiting for his big break! He helps Hancock clean up his act.

Charlize Theron -- her skin looked HORRIBLE in this movie. Uggghhhh!! I was not impressed. Her performance -- average.

If I had to review this movie in a sentence...
Fallen gods find each other in a giant world.

What The Bleep Do We Know?!

From the movie:

Why do we keep recreating the same reality?

Why do we keep having the same relationships?

In this infite sea of potential that exist around us, why do we keep recreating the same realities?


I just watched, What the Bleep Do We Know.
It is a documentary about the mind.
about quantam physics
about non-linear time... if that can be comprehended
about the universe
about God
it was about EVERYTHING.

There were a couple segments in the movie that really excited me. The doctors that were interviewed spoke about the chemical reactions that occur with every emotion we feel. Every emotion has a corresponding chemical. The chemical is released into the blood stream and grab onto the recepters on every cell in our body. When we're angry, when we're in love, when we're feeling sorry for ourselves..... these are all different emotions that all create it's own chemical and fills the body with it.

So that explains perfectly WHY we repeat the same cycles over and over. Why we go through the same struggles in relationships is because we are addicted to the chemicals that are associated with certain emotions. Heroin attaches itself to the same recepters on each cell that the emotional chemicals do. This further explains that we are ADDICTED to certain behaviors due to the chemicals that are created. Did that make sense? If it didn't... just watch the movie. It explains a whole lot.

Watching the movie can effect change by understanding HOW and WHY we do what we do in any given situation... then stopping things before they happen. It went into greater detail on many different area's. I really like the idea's they had on God without dogma.

Another area that was of enormous interest to me was the work of Dr. Masaru Emoto. His study of water is proof that thoughts and feelings affect physical reality.

"Essentially, Dr. Emoto captured water's 'expressions.' He developed a technique using a very powerful microscope in a very cold room along with high-speed photography, to photograph newly formed crystals of frozen water samples. Not all water samples crystallize however. Water samples from extremely polluted rivers directly seem to express the 'state' the water is in."

"Dr. Masaru Emoto discovered that crystals formed in frozen water reveal changes when specific, concentrated thoughts are directed toward them. He found that water from clear springs and water that has been exposed to loving words shows brilliant, complex, and colorful snowflake patterns. In contrast, polluted water, or water exposed to negative thoughts, forms incomplete, asymmetrical patterns with dull colors."

It is an amazing representation of the power of words and positive thinking. Please go to the website and view the actual pictures of the water crystals.

I watched the documentary three times in a row. It was an amazing discovery for me. I enjoyed every minute and have a very clear picture of how I can implement it into my life.