Drive By Post : Birthday Weekend

Wow. Whirlwind of a weekend. Knocked me off my normal pattern for blogging, writing, and social media.

I had a really good time this past weekend. I hung out with old friends and family, met new friends, and partied like a rock star. This year has been a little different in how I celebrate Leo Season because I am devoting every spare moment to the writing of my novel. I started out writing a contemporary American romance. It is not that anymore. It has evolved into something more meaningful than romance and there are so many facets to it that I had not originally conceptualized. It is STILL a love story. I am in love with my body of work. And there are a million other stories tinkering in my brain and in my imagination; characters that are peeking from behind the dust in my mind. They are fighting to come out. This makes me sound schizophrenic. I'm not! LOL... but I do live in fairy tale land. Most story-tellers do!

I drove out to Maryland for my birthday weekend. My cousin met me there and we hung out with my sister-bestie at her home and in her hood. Before driving out to Maryland, I had written in my journal that I wanted to go dancing and oh-my-goodness I DANCED. My legs felt like jello, they still feel like jello, and I realize that I do need to go back to the gym. I love to dance. I may not be good at it but I really do enjoy it. I especially love it when I've been dancing with someone all night, having a good time, and that last slow jam comes on to close out the night. That is the best! I want to be with someone that loves to dance too... especially if he's good at it.

You never know what can happen in a single moment. It can change the course of your life. One simple act. One single moment can change your perspective on EVERYTHING.

Video Podcast Episode 3 : Celebrate Yourself : : Leo Season

I enjoy celebrating my birthday. I am not one to wait for other people to plan stuff for me. When I turned 16, I spent the entire day by myself at the mall. My parents gave me birthday money and the keys to my mom's orange Ford Aerostar van. EVERYBODY in high school knew my mom's van because I was always driving it and all of my friends were piled in it, even on our weekend cruising adventures.

The celebration of my birthday, like many people, is usually a day spent partying and having a good time. I used to celebrate 'the day' then it turned into celebrating birthday week and now has extended to the entire Leo Season. This means that I celebrate from July 23rd to August 22nd even though my birthday is August 4th. I make it a point to be a little selfish and do whatever I feel like doing. Celebrating for an entire month takes some planning but for the most part, I wing most of it. I don't worry about the money I spend on myself because I deserve it. I deserve to spoil myself. I worry about the money part later. You can always make more money but you can never go back and make more memories.

When people would ask me what I want for my birthday, I say the same thing. I like homemade stuff like chocolate chip cookies or banana bread. I also like earrings and ANYTHING with hearts on it or LOVE on it. I like smell good stuff like Scentsy stuff or Bath & Body Works home fragrances and candles. But my favorite thing? My favorite thing to get are handwritten cards and if they're accompanied with flowers -- even better! But if you are just itching to gift me something from Amazon, here is my current WISH LIST.

Best Video Card I ever received. The ONLY video card I ever received.

In a previous post, I touched on how I was raised to not value my physical beauty, that it was somehow bad to honor the reflection in the mirror. Also, kids are mean and can really mess with how a person views him or herself. I had to consciously overcome those feelings of insecurity in relation to my looks.

In similar fashion, I have to overcome the "training" I received from my mother to SERVE everybody before myself. I watched her put everyone's needs above her own, which ultimately stole her health from her. I have had to find the balance between the wonderful values I was raised with and the ME that says that I need "ME" time. So celebrating myself during the month of my birth, Leo Season, is about me making time to do ME. It's my most favorite time of the year.

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Birthdays and Valentines

There are two days of the year that I celebrate and dote on myself. First is my birthday and second is Valentine's Day. It works out perfect because the two events are six months apart. So I treat myself and make time for me at least twice a year. Now that I'm single - I treat myself way more than twice a year. My next "treat" will be buying a house.... all.by.myself. It scares me but at the same time, I should have BEEN done it a long time ago. I remember when I was separated from my first husband, my mother begging me to buy a house. If I had known then what I know now, I would have listened to her. She was so wise! Miss you mom!!

While most people celebrate their birth DAY. I celebrate for all of the Leo Zodiac season -- July 22nd to August 22nd. I take an entire month to celebrate me. Of course there are tons of people who are also in celebration with me because a lot of what I do is orchestrated by my family and friends. I am so grateful to be surrounded by so much love and such a strong support system. I cannot express enough gratitude for all the people in my life.

I turned 42 last August. One of the highlights of Leo Season was ziplining at Keana Farms. The exhilaration of flying through the air with just some rope and pulleys preventing me from falling to my death was an amazing experience. And to share the experience with my two oldest nieces just brought me so much happiness. I told myself when I was in my 20's that when I turned 40 I would go skydiving. That didn't happen because my husband at the time (now my ex) said that it was an unnecessary risk. Now that I have the freedom to choose my destiny, I just might put skydiving back on my bucket list.




Valentine's Day is coming up. I just the love the idea of celebrating love and romance. You can do a google search and see that it has a sordid past but all I care about is how I celebrate now. The way people say there's a special feeling in the air during Christmas - that's how I feel about Valentines. I love walking into stores and seeing all the reds and pinks, the hearts and the chocolates, the lace and the satin, and the flowers. Oh my goodness I love seeing the flowers. One can never go wrong by sending me flowers.

Maybe the chic flicks have done me in where I just might have an unrealistic expectation of romance. I think it's healthy to dream and fantasize about being swept off my feet by a handsome, kind, and generous man. It keeps the visual in my mind of what I want in a partner. It is not a secret that my heart has been broken before. Heck, everyone's heart has been broken before but I do not let it stop me from seeking out love again. I am not a bitter woman and I am beginning to think that my trail of broken hearts are actually helping to break me wide open, forcing me to fulfill my potential.

This Valentines I want what I want every Valentines:
***A handwritten love letter where he writes his truest feelings about me - why he loves me and specific examples of what he loves most about me. I don't think men know the power of "specific examples". Every woman wants to hear the whens and the whys. I thrive on it. My first love told me, "When I looked in your eyes, there was nothing fake there. You didn't shake my gaze and I could see inside you." We always had a special connection and some days I really miss it. Even though he ended up breaking my heart, I know that if we were to have a go at it a second time, it just might be the right time. But that is not in cards as he is very married.

***Red Roses delivered to my office - I don't know why this makes me happy but it does. Receiving flowers at my office from anyone is such a thrill. I am not a materialistic person at all so the lavish gifts of jewelry is nice but I rather have something that took some thought, which is why I love handwritten letters. And the roses? Well, I just love red roses. The deep red is so gorgeous to me and it just screams LOVE.

In high school there used to be "candy-grams" during Valentines. I never got one but I loved the anticipation and wondering if someone would send me one. I still get that feeling leading up to Valentines, wondering if someone is going to send me something, hoping that the one I am thinking of is going to be thinking of me too. When Valentines Day arrives and the day is almost over and I have received nothing, I don't fret. I go out and treat myself to something nice - maybe a shopping trip for a new outfit or some new shoes. I might take in a movie or hit the spa. There is no time to be sad over things out of my control. So even if I don't have a Valentine this year, I will still treat myself to something nice - the day AFTER Valentines when everything is half off.

Lessons From A Mother's Love

My mother would have been 68 earth years on June 5, 2016. She left this existence on 30 June 2011. I can't believe it's been almost five years. When I think on the time I had with her on this planet, I would say that my biggest regret is that I did not learn all that I could from her. She was the smartest woman I will ever know, who would "tell it like it is" and still had the biggest heart.

I find that one of the traits I have learned from her is to be brutally honest. I wasn't always that way. In fact, people used to walk all over me and take advantage of my kindness. As a young girl and on up to being an adult, I thought that being accommodating of everyone was an admirable trait. Being well-liked because I was accommodating would certainly earn me loyal friends.... but it didn't and it really doesn't. It took a long time to learn the lesson. Prior to my 40th birthday last year, the epiphany of being "too accommodating" came to an end. Specific experiences led to me penning my 40 Year Old Manifesto. I choose my own happiness above any notion of loyalty to insignificant people. I wish my mother could see this blossoming of me. She would tell me, "I told you so." And I would retort with utter disgust because she 'knows it all'.

When I think of her, I tear up just thinking of the missed lessons I should have had with her. I miss her clear wisdom and absolute distinction between right and wrong. She had a well-developed and accurate moral compass and I wish I was born with that... sometimes. I say "sometimes" because I am far too curious to limit myself to stay within the bounds that are imposed upon me by my culture and my religious upbringing. Yet, I am so very grateful for my mother's staunch perseverance in raising me to strive for holiness and purity. I have had to temper that with my wild, anarchist tendencies and am quite pleased with my unique morality. My endeavor is to see God in people, not because we are of the same culture or have the same religion but because God's light is in each of us.

I credit my mother for fostering my curious nature but also applying restraint for my safety. In many of my dark days, I could feel my mother's prayers to God. I remember a particular time when I lived in New Mexico. I had experienced a traumatic event in Hawai'i and escaped to New Mexico. I also left the island following a man I wanted to love forever. I was sitting in my apartment. It was the middle of the afternoon and a feeling of my mother's love washed over me. It was so overwhelming, so strong, and so urgent, and I could feel her arms around me. I wish I could tell her now that I felt her that day in a really moving way. These were the days before calling cards and long-distance calls were $0.25 cents a minute and up, depending on the city so I was not able to make a call to her. I will never forget that incredible rush.

I was such a wild child. Sorry, Mom! I know she was extremely worried about me. I remember one evening being in my apartment in New Mexico. It was early evening but being that it was winter, it was already dark. I heard a knock at the door. Two men dressed in white shirts and ties from the local L.D.S. ward had been sent by my mother. I look back now and think of how concerned she was about me, how worried she was for my safety, and I dare anyone to doubt her unconditional love for me. There is no parallel to a Mother's Love!

She would have been 68 this year. I have to believe that she peeks in on me from time to time and that she still prays for me and petitions the Gods for my safety. I know she sends wonderful people into my life to push and prod me to be a better me. When I meet her again, I will praise her angelic presence in my life and beg her forgiveness for my limited understanding of A Mother's Love.

Best Birthday Video Card EVER!

My older brother and his family's birthday video card.... LOVE IT!!! Adorable!!! My niece Naina put this together on her iPod. Amazing!!!

Countdown to 38

In 7 days I will be 38. When I was 18 I did not foresee this day! **shaking my head** But I love the woman I am becoming. Every year there's something I love more about myself that I didn't before. I realize that I wasted a lot of time worrying about my body shape and my BMI, my hairstyle, and my general self-esteem. I wish that I had the personality I have now when I was 18 but that would skip over 20 years worth of lessons... and I love the lessons! I cherish everything I have experienced, both the good and the bad.

My soul feels very old. Sometimes it appears in my blog posts. I embrace how free my mind has become. I wish that every child could be born without the trappings of our parent's dogma and be truly free to explore whatever it is he or she desires, without judgement or condemnation. This life was meant to be a whirlwind of experience that nourishes us and teaches us. **sigh** I love this world and this life. I wish everyone could free their minds and seek whatever it is that brings them peace, love, and fosters compassion one toward another.

As I close out my 37th year, I just want the world to know that this past year has been about finding the things that really speaks to me and being comfortable with the choice I have made. As I commence my 38th year -- I will spend August 3rd at the Earth, Wind, and Fire concert at the Neal Blaisdell Arena. I'm super duper excited. I think this is a great way to kick off my 38th year.


BIRTHDAY WISH LIST

1. Mortar and Pestle 
2. Hoop earrings... gold or silver... the more the merrier! I like Pacific Island style earrings also.
3. 35mm Wide Angle Lens - maybe a rich secret admirer could get this for me. I take all donations. :-)
4. Amazon Gift Cards - you can never go wrong with this!!

MY REAL BIRTHDAY WISH....
But really... the biggest thing on my Birthday Wish List is to send a very special couple to a "couple's retreat" workshop that they desperately need (according to me). I love them very much. I love their children and I really would LOVE to help them blow their mind wide open to the possibilities in the universe, to help them foster better communication, to feel LOVE again. It's a PSI workshop that will work best if both husband and wife attend. I want this so bad for them so I open it up to you. $520 per person = $1,040 that I need to fund raise. Please help me send them! ((please write PSI WORKSHOP in the purpose line.))

Birthday Reflections

I celebrated my 37th birthday yesterday. This year has been a year of changes. So last birthday was the first one I spent without my mother. I miss her dearly and can't believe it's been more than a year since she's been gone. Wow. Time flies!

My day began at the fitness center, putting in my 40-minute workout. I weighed myself in and lost 3.5 lbs since Wednesday. Amazing! A recent health scare is begging attention. My extra pounds is causing all kind of havoc in my body. The biggest concern: Type 2 Diabetes. Consequently, Type 2 Diabetes contributes to my issues with fertility. I visited an infertility specialist at the end of July and she confirmed my suspicions. My ovaries suffer from Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. So -- all my extensive rants over the years about losing weight MUST happen here and now. I want to increase the quality of my life as I age.

After the fitness center, husband and I had lunch at Ruby Tuesdays -- who can pass up the salad bar and the marvelous pumpernickel croutons? I ordered the petite sirloin with steamed broccoli and mashed cauliflower. That was the first time I had mashed cauliflower and I thoroughly enjoyed. It's low on the carb scale. That is my goal: to reduce my intake of carbs. I've been doing a lot of reading on reducing carbs in my diet. This does not mean that I will increase my protein calories. In fact, I  am going to limit my protein also. 75% of my plate will be veggies; a salad, a steamed veggie + a protein, preferably fish, chicken, or turkey. It's so time to make changes!

**SPOILER ALERT**
After lunch, we were just in time to catch the matinee showing of Total Recall. I loved it! I just love how the creative team behind the movie imagined the future. The gadgets made me slightly nauseous because of the implications of that type of technology in the modern era. There was this cylinder that gets shot into the room. Attached to the cylinder are like 40 mini cameras that disperse once the cylinder lodges into an object. The 40 cameras spray into the room in every direction, lodges itself in whatever is around and starts sending a signal back to whoever shot the cylinder. Spooky but so imaginative and useful in military arts. The movie also presents a cell phone that is inserted beneath the skin in the palm of your hand. So weird! You can put your hand up to a glass and it projects an image of whoever it is you are talking to. Wow!

The action was great also. The chase scenes and the gun scenes were fantastic. On top of that is the psycho manipulation stuff. What's real and what is "recall"?

I loved seeing two of the Underworld actors show up in the movie: Kate Beckinsale (villain) and Bill Nighy (he actually played a hero in this movie rather than the villain).

Overall, I really enjoyed it. Science Fiction is still one of my favorite genres. It has to be good though. Some of the stuff on SyFy is way too cheesy.

**SPOILER END**

I ended off my day with a barbecue at home. My brother, sis-in-law, and cuzzy Mahea made all kinds of delicious stuff for the grill. Awesome, I tell ya! We watched the Womens 100m final. Boy was that a race!

This year I hope to be the healthiest I have ever been. I hope to write my first novel and publish it (self-publish if I have to). This year I want financial freedom -- debt free by next years birthday, God-willing!

Happy 37th Birthday to Me!

Happy Birthday Mom

If my mother were still alive, she would have been 64 today but she only lived to be 63.

If my mother were still alive, I would have asked her to recount every single year of her life. "What was it like to grow up in Samoa?"
"Mom, tell me what it was like to lose your father at a young age. I can't imagine having lost mine."
"Who were your friends and what did you do for fun?"
"Mom, tell me what it was like to wash clothes in the stream or ride horse back along the beach."
"Mom, tell me what it was like to dig for clams for dinner and walk several miles to the plantation."
"What was it like, Mom, to use an outhouse."
"Tell me Mom, what was it like to be you?"

If my mother were still alive, I would have spent this entire past year learning how to crochet. She had been trying to teach me it all of my life.
"Sorry Mom!"

If my mother were still alive, I would have been so proud to show her my gardening techniques and my recycling techniques... all the things that she was so famous for.

If my mother were still alive, I would have taken her to the graveyard to clean Great-Gramma's grave and Aunty Anapogi's grave. She always wanted to go but I was always too busy doing something else. I find myself at the graveyard often... wishing I could hear her voice just one more time.

If my mother were still alive, I would hug her every day. I would tell her how much I love her and how grateful I am that she's my mother.

If my mother were still alive...

If only my mother were still alive...

Day 18: My Favorite Birthday

The more I age, the more I feel like my birthday is just another day. Not that I feel that my life is not worth celebrating but more that I don't wait for my birthday to do something nice. I feel like life should be lived every single day like it's the last moment. When I take that approach to life, I find that the little things don't seem to bother me as much -- like how my husband removes his dirty socks and leaves it in the middle of the room. I wish I could have practiced that type of mindset when I was going through all those changes that my husband was putting me through. But I digress.

I don't think I have a favorite birthday. I can say that I remember most of the parties I've had though. If I did have to choose just one though, it would probably be my 16th birthday. August 4th, 1991. I didn't have a huge birthday party. In fact, that year I didn't have a party at all. Summertime birthdays can be the pits since a lot of the time none of my friends ever remembered it. At least in high school, that's how it was. My mother let me sleep in that day. That was a rare occasion. She NEVER let me sleep in. I always had some chore to tend to whether it was making breakfast for my grandmothers or cleaning some part of the house, my mother had tons of chores for me to do.

Anyway -- by noon of my 16th birthday I had managed to get the keys to my mother's van as well as permission to go to the mall -- all by myself. Since I live way out in the country, going to the mall with the family car, all by myself was HUGE! I felt so independent. They gave me a hundred dollars and said I could do whatever I wanted with it. I ended up at Pearlridge Mall which is about an hour away from home. I bought a poster of L.L. Cool J (major crush)!! I bought Gladys Knight's Greatest Hits CD and called it day. What I loved the most is the freedom and the independence. I felt so very free!

That started the trend, for me, of treating myself on my birthday. Sometimes. Most times. I prefer to do absolutely nothing on my birthday. Social ties usually do not allow for it thus... I have a birth-week rather than a birth-day. This past birthday is an example of a birth-week.

So like I said... as I age... I don't wait for my birthday to treat myself. I do what I want, whenever I want because I deserve it. So do you!

Birthday Review

Every year I seem to extend the birthday celebration beyond August 4th. I went through a phase where I didn't really want to spend time with anyone on my day. I just wanted to lounge and DO NOTHING or if I wanted to shop, I wanted to do it in peace and quiet. This year, that changed.

August 4th came so quickly. In an instant, I turned 35 years old. We had plans to go to Best Buy to pick up my birthday gift from the husband, a Nikon D5000. That didn't quite pan out as I had hoped. Husband felt the need to invite the Jehovah Witnesses in. Normally, this is not a problem at all for me. I enjoy a robust conversation about religion. This time around though, the women that came to the door did not come to share a message of hope, or love, or peace. They came to condemn me and my house for our belief system. I was very disappointed with that. The experience stayed with me for several days. Actually, it still comes to mind. I think of how limited their view is of the eternities. **sigh**

We went joy riding EVERYWHERE and ended up back home with plans of ending the day and evening at Dave and Busters, dinner at Buca Di Beppo's. That too didn't quite pan out as I had intended but I'm a firm believer that nothing is random. As we were readying to head out the door, I just had a funny feeling. I stalled for a good hour before we finally left the house. As we rounded the bend around Mokoli'i (Chinaman's Hat), going toward Kaneohe, the cars were beginning to back up. Indeed, just three cars ahead of us was a terrible accident. It was a brand new accident -- an accident I know I was spared from because I had stalled at home that extra hour. I was not disappointed at all to have to turn around and go home. Instantly, I thought of calling my cousin who works as a server at The Palm Terrace. I was glad to hang with my husband, my two sisters -- Michelle (and her boyfriend) and Marie.

So August 4th happened to be on a Wednesday. Saturday came along and my dear, sweet cousin Mahea took me and the fam parasailing. It was the most beautiful day ever and such a wonderful, wonderful experience!!

Super exciting day! The adrenalin was far too much for such a peaceful experience.

I'm not sure if the terror is apparent on my face. I was absolutely terrified but excited at the same time.

That's me in the air... flying high in the sky. 

Thank You Mahealani (the girl with the shaka) -- the most resourceful girl ever... especially when it comes to ocean activities.

So the birthday festivities did not end there. I got two pairs of earrings... gorgeous, gorgeous Polynesian jewelry using traditional materials in new ways. The end of the festivities were tickets for the husband and I to The Shaq All Star Comedy Show. The Hawai'i show was hosted by Charlie Murphy (Eddie Murphy's brother). First comic up was Aries Spears -- who was, by far, the funniest comedian of the night. I really thought I was going to pee in my pants. Second comic was Deray Davis. He took a little while to get into his groove but once he got going -- he was funny. The final comedian was D.L. Hughley and he sucked the big one! I am not a fan of D.L. and seeing him live CONFIRMED it. uggghhhh!!!

Husband and I after the show... so high from laughing so hard. It was like there was laughing gas in the room. Comedians were raunchy as heck but... laughing that hard felt so good!

These were the sponsors of the evening. Mr. and Mrs. Slack -- Thank you mucho!! These are the two that just got home from Iraq.... welcomed them home just a week or two before the show.

So finally, my birthday celebration has come to an end. I'm super excited about this 35th year. I'm ready for whatever is coming my way. Thank you, Lord, for my beautiful family, for my health and strength, for the abundance I enjoy, for true friends, for LOVE!

35 Years Toward Forever

HAPPY 35TH BIRTHDAY to me!

I can honestly say that this past year, since last August 4th, has been one of the most difficult years of my life. Husband and I came very close to calling it quits and I am very grateful that we have emerged from beneath the "darkness", better partners. He is, truly, the most precious man on the planet. Through thick and thin, we are making it through -- together!

I don't have much planned for today. We will probably head out to the swapmeet. I'm going to purchase cheap fabric so I can brush up on my sewing skills. My sisters want to look around and the fella's are all aboard just for the "hell" of it. We'll probably round off the day just barbecuing at the house. I love that! I love to just sit around and play cards or dominoes and eat really good food.

Saturday is when the real celebration is supposed to start. Parasailing with the family!

Birthday Ramblings

Today was husband's birthday. All he wanted was his favorite foods for dinner. (Men are so simple)

THE MENU

Stuffed Salmon
Smoked Ham with a Maple Glaze (this was for the in-laws)
Baked Macaroni and Cheese
Smothered Cabbage
Rice

My sister-in-law also made some Salmon Croquettes. She's pregnant and had a specific craving for it.


My pride and joy, however, was the birthday cake. I made a three-layer chocolate cake. I made a chocolate ganache for the layers and a chocolate butter cream frosting for the outside. It was so scrumptious and unbelievably simple. I sniped the recipe from the Food Network's Barefoot Contessa.

I really should have taken pictures of everything but it all looked so good that I couldn't get the camera fast enough. The salmon was extremely tender and so very delicious. But I just can't stop thinking about that cake though. Yumm! It was so moist and rich. I should make this kind of decadence for a living. Serious!

I was over at one of my favorite blog's, The Brown Blogger, and he mentioned toward the end of his The Weight post how he and the wifey were 1099 workers. As I understand it, 1099 workers do contract work. For instance, (true story), say you find out that McDonald's is in need of a grounds maintenance person. You gladly submit a proposal detailing the services you can provide and how much it will cost. At the point of acceptance, McDonald's (in this case, the franchise owner) hires you on but not as an employee of McDonald's but as a contracted worker. Thus, you are paid according to agreement. McDonald's is not required to do any government withholding. BTW: 1099 references the document that replaces a normal W-2 from an employer. Yes, this example is a true story. I did the paperwork for my father to gain a contract at the local McDonald's where he lives. He did their grounds maintenance for a few years. I'm so glad he gave it up.

So anyway, I mention that only to say that I've been interested in doing this kind of work for quite some time. Not the ground maintenance part, even though it has crossed my mind, but the 1099/ contract work deal! In the last four years or so, I have had a great desire to "own my time" so to speak. XYZ Corp could hire me to cater their party. (I am kind of a whiz in the kitchen.) We do a contract detailing the services that will be rendered and what I will get in exchange. I would be open to bartering for services because I don't think I'd have to pay a tax on that. I wonder?! Hmmm... Anyway -- if everything is agreeable we have a deal. I cater the party, they pay, and that's it! No 9-5 to enslave me. If I wanted to take a month off to go home to Hawai'i, I could by simply blacking out my calender. If I wanted to, I could take jobs in Hawai'i. The possibilities are endless.

The really great part about me revisiting the idea of being a 1099 worker is that my husband sees the light! His lack of support in previous years discouraged me from pursuing it... but now, he's finally on board, and has a desire to try it out. I'm so stoked. I'll definitely keep you posted!

Happy Birthday to Me... coming soon

I am going to be 34 in another week. I can't believe I've been on this earth that long. I still feel so young, like high school just happened but I'm not that young and I've been out of high school for 16 years now. My how time flies!

In my real-life journal, the one I write in while I'm sitting in the first hour of church, I usually talk about the big events that have transpired since my last birthday.

Going back to my last birthday in August 2008, I was supposed to start school again but quickly dropped my courses as soon as I found out I wasn't eligible for scholarship. Me returning to school was supposed to be an EVENT. I've never been a believer in needing college to find success. I still don't, even though I am finally eligible for a native Hawaiian scholarship, and I am currently enrolled full-time, on-line. Going to college is something I've never done successfully. I've never had any interest in it and could probably never return to a conventional classroom again. On-line course work or distance learning is my savior! My dear husband is my inspiration. He finished off his undergrad in three years. When he's determined to do something, he does it, and I'm so grateful we share the same path in this life.

The next big event this past year would probably be... husband and I giving up beef, pork, and chicken. For the most part, husband and I are almost totally vegetarian. We're not all vegan'ish (my own term for extreme anti-animal) but we have successfully kicked the meat habit as of March 1st, 2009. We still eat eggs, sparingly, and I occasionally use cheese on food I prepare. I feel so healthy. I look in the mirror sometimes and wonder where the radiance is from. I work out faithfully, at least 30 minutes a day. I have dropped 25 pounds and am continuing to lose. I've gone down two dress sizes and am feeling so energetic.

The vegetarian thing is definitely for better health. We want to eat as our ancestors did. Fish and vegetables. Also, I need to lose the weight to help my body heal itself of the infertility issues. I'm sure all my hormonal problems will balance out. Not only have we kicked the meat but we're also attempting to go totally organic. We cut out the refined white sugar and refined white flour from our diet as well. Slow progress but so worth it!

The biggest event in my life is still coming... we're moving this show to Alabama. I'm excited. Lord knows that I've been feeling very unfulfilled at work and with life, in general. I will miss all my family and friends dearly but with technology the way it is... there's NO reason that folks can't stay in touch. I'm more than ready for new experiences out in Alabama. I'm hoping we can move back west, eventually. It would be really great to maybe make it out to Vegas or even back to Hawai'i. I have large dreams on the horizon that I'd like to live out. I will remain tight lipped about it just because it's too precious for me to share.

So I guess this has been a productive year. I look forward to a great coming year. This years birthday, I'm still unsure what I want to do. The Polynesian Cultural Center just premiered a brand new evening show called, Ha: The Breath of Life. I've only heard good things about it so I'm thinking I might want to do that. I also want to go ParaSailing. I haven't done that yet so hopefully soon, I'll be able to set that up.

Happy Early Birthday to me!

Thirty Three

I'm reaching my thirty-third year on Monday, August 4th. Probably the thing that has plagued my life in the last year has been my issues with fertility or lack thereof. Time is ticking away and consequently so is my biological clock. I feel an unbelievable pressure to bear children. My anatomical parts point to the purpose of my body bearing children and it is something I desire. More lately than ever before. The primal urges in my body symbolize the eternal need to "propagate the species". The creator made it that way.

Choices made in my youth regarding the use of birth control has probably exacerbated the situation, therefore requiring me to take measures to make it right. I stated in a previous post that I will probably be on clomid by September since I currently suffer from anovulation. Clomid is supposed to kickstart the creation of eggs. The reproductive system is so delicate. Any deviation can throw the entire cycle off it's natural course.

I never really thought about children. In my mind, I just thought that they'd come naturally in due course without me having to pursue it so aggressively. I'm okay with it because I know there is a masterplan behind my life and something as important as children could NEVER be random. I know that when my body is ready for it, the children will come without so much planning.

What else has happened in the past year? Well, I decided to go back to school, full-time. I begin on my birthday. I thought that was apropos as I begin a new segment in my life. I've proved to myself that I don't need secondary schooling to be successful. Now, I'd like to take it to another level and actually see how far I can go within the confines of academia. After I finish off my undergrad, I'd like to go to law school, pass the Hawaii State BAR and consult from home. I have no desire to practice law or to be in a courtroom setting but Law interests me, nonetheless.

As I commence on my 33rd year and lay to rest my 32nd, I am hopeful for whats next on the horizon. Motherhood? God-willing! Academia? Definitely! I thank the Creator for my health and strength throughout the last year. May it continue to be mine through the next millenia! Happy Birthday and Happy New Year to me!

Just Yesterday

Where does all the time go?

Just yesterday, wasn't it my 21st birthday? I was headed out to the club. Young, single and 100% LEGAL. And didn't I get my boogie on with SEVERAL different prospective dates for the following weekend? Hmmm... I seem to remember a few too many tequila shots. A few too many DIPS on the dance floor and a mess load of birthday kisses.

Yesterday was my 16th birthday. I was headed to the mall to do some "ME" time. Yep. I bought me an LL poster, a Gladys Knights greatest hits CD, some cookies from Mrs. Fields and called it a day. My mama gave me the keys to her van and I just drove. It was so relaxing. Happy Sweet 16!

Just yesterday was my 13th birthday. I woke up that morning and saw a whole bunch of my cousins in the living room. Wow, I thought. Totally Cool!! WE hung out. Everybody was cooking for some big event. I went outside, helped my sister decorate the garage. Then my friends started coming over and I just thought the day couldn't get any better. What my mama had done... she planned me a surprise birthday party. She had me decorating and tellin' folks where to hang the crepe paper and where to put the balloons. LOL... that's so me!

The other day was my eighth birthday. We were camping at the beach. I got baptized then we had a HUGE party complete with games. I still remember the outfit I was wearing. Pink shorts and a red and white shirt with ruffles. Oh my goodness. It was the most fun in the entire world. Life was simple then.

Just yesterday was my fourth birthday. I think I had the most BEAUTIFUL cake in all the world. It was a Snow White cake. I had never heard of Snow White until that evening. I don't think I've ever watched the movie either but I will tell you that it was the most BEAUTIFUL cake in all the world. It was time to sing happy birthday and I remember being so touched by all the love I felt that evening. I sat behind my cake, tears in my eyes and a big smile on my face while everyone sang. I'm gonna dig out that picture and show yall just how beautiful it was.

Where did all the time go?

ETA : 1 Week

Estimated time of arrival : One week... I'll be 30 in a week.

This is for all you girls 30 years and over.... and for those who are turning 30, and for those who are scared of moving into their 30's...AND for guys who are scared of girls over 30!!!!... This was written by Andy Rooney from CBS 60 Minutes.

Andy Rooney says:

As I grow in age, I value women who are over 30 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:

A woman over 30 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, "What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think.

If a woman over 30 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do. And, it's usually something more interesting.

A woman over 30 knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom. Few women past the age of 30 give a damn what you might think about her or what she's doing.

Women over 30 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it.

Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated.

A woman over 30 has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend because she doesn't trust the guy with other women. Women over 30 couldn't care less if you're attracted to her friends because she knows her friends won't betray her.

Women get psychic as they age.
You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 30.
They always know.

A woman over 30 looks good wearing bright red lipstick. This is not true of younger women.

Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 30 is far sexier than her younger counterpart.

Older women are forthright and honest.
They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk if you are acting like one! You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her.

Yes, we praise women over 30 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of 30+, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year-old waitress.

Ladies, I apologize.

For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free". Here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage, why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire Pig, just to get a little sausage.