Friday, June 23, 2006

Staring Back at Me

A woman deserves to feel pretty.

I haven't felt pretty lately... not for lack of attention from husband.... but more from lack of attention from myself. I feel so caught up in all my endeavors to affect positive change that, as I looked in the mirror the other day, I realized that I didn't know the reflection staring back at me. **sigh** (Nearly a year ago I kicked the nicotine for good.... and along with that came added weight.)

In so many ways I've let myself go FURTHER than I would have liked. I struggle to follow the true intents and desires of my heart. I find myself in the middle of things and WONDER if I'm really making a difference. I often reflect on the story about the little boy who, after a storm, walks along the shore and begins to throw the starfish back into the ocean. An older man observes the scene and prods the little boy to give up on his ambition of saving the starfish. The older man rationalizes with the little boy, "You couldn't possibly save all these starfish." To which the little boy replies, "I may not save them all but I will save this one." And continues to throw starfish in the ocean, one by one.

I wonder if the woman I am becoming is what the universe wants for me. It seems that many doors continue to open ahead of me as though all the forces of heaven above support the work I intend to do. Very few people EVER do what they were born to do and I am grateful that I have FINALLY garnered the respect and support of my family. I can move forward on the path I selected for myself a very long time ago.

Far too often, we waste the unique gifts the Creator has endowed each of us with. We get stuck thinking that there is only ONE way to do something. With that mindset, we cut off the INFINITE possibilities out there and figure that our unique talents are just hobbies. Accepting infinity allows one to fully explore every avenue without bias. The natural result -- a truly informed decision! Imagine that? **giggling**

So as I stare at my reflection, as of late, I may feel UNPRETTY... but I'm putting her back together. I'm learning how to balance the many dimensions of me.

Sunday, June 18, 2006

10 Things / 10 People

Borrowed from ShellyP on blogspot.

List up to ten (10) things you want to say to ten (10) different people. Do not state who these people are. Do not confirm or deny any "comment speculation".

1. You are so inconsiderate! Folks told me all throughout high school and even through our young adult years that you were inconsiderate. I just believed that you were better than that. You suck!!

2. I'm glad you've found someone. I miss you immensely. Don't know if that makes sense.

3. You really, truly are my dearest friend and I wish we talked more often. Marriage has taken us different places but we will always be the same "down-for-whateva" chicks! LOL

4. Why are you able to attract all the jerks within a 50 mile radius? You're smart, independent, beautiful and so very single... turn off your jerk radar.

5. We all go through tough times in our lives. Marriage is hard work and yall have been together for years.... you'll get through this storm. He could never walk away from you.

6. I wish we could hang out like we used to. What would that be like? LOL... You definitely lived a full life. I still miss ya crazy butt.

7. Regrets. That's all I have for not having taken advantage of all your knowledge while you were living right here in this house.

8. Can't wait til you and your family come home to Hawai'i. Summer fun in the sun... all year round.

9. Your work has changed my life. My relationships with everyone have improved far beyond what I could have imagined. My capacity to feel compassion for everyone I meet has been such a helpful tool. Thank you! My ability to reach my goals has increased far and beyond what I thought was possible.

10. There will never be another. I love you.

Monday, June 12, 2006


I have not been abducted by aliens! I have not been marooned in the concrete jungle of your nearest inner-city. I have not been jailed... YET... for my criticism of the President of the United States...

I have, however, been camped out on a sandy beach in Hawai'i. LOL. Summer is coming at us soooo quickly. We've been in the upper 80's everyday for the last two weeks. **sigh** The beach has been my respite.

Aside from the heat... and clambering every other minute for a sandy shore on the Pacific Ocean... I have been VERY busy! A couple of months ago, I watched a TV Show that had me thinking about how I could make a difference in the world. I blogged about it. Here's an excerpt:

"The show left me with a great deal of sadness. Though we've heard the story told a million times before: gangster changes his life then is murdered in the streets, the dramatic interpretation is ALMOST always very moving."

So what have I been busy doing and how does it relate to the TV Show? Well... I'm TOTALLY and 100% involved in making a difference in my little community. That's really what it has come down to, for me. To effect change in the world, I must start with my community.

So I've jumped, head first, into helping a charter school get off the ground. I'm involved with actually creating the curriculum. Writing the grants. Creating the application forms and helping in determining the Implementation Plans. The ENTIRE process! I love it. I've never felt more useful.

What else is on my plate? -- I've been in and out of community association meetings to be totally involved in HOW this little community heads into the future. So for my little town... I have been nominated as the Association's Secretary. I don't plan to be in that capacity for very long.... but I have to start somewhere.

My world is amazing and fruitful... I have been placed in a position to help shape the future of the children in my community. **heavy sigh** For that, I am truly humbled by God's trust in me.