Video Podcast Episode 8: Foot Binding and the Measure of Beauty

VIDEO: What is the Measure of Beauty
Naina Marie Makevp YouTube Channel (my niece)

I enjoyed reading two books by Lisa See. Lisa See looks Caucasian, which she is, but she is very proud of her Chinese heritage that has all been washed from her physical features. I stumbled upon her writing when I borrowed Shanghai Girls from the Kahuku Public Library several years ago.

SHAMELESS PLUG for public libraries. I cannot imagine a world without access to the mountains of information that are in the public libraries. In the State of Hawaii, there are public libraries everywhere. Thanks to the internet, you can search the state's library database from home, request material from other libraries to be sent to whatever library in the State that you'd like to pick it up at, and also reserve material or computer time. All of this can be done without leaving home. Trust me, I put it to very good use! You can also download ebooks and audio books to an app that allows you to read or listen to your book. Awesome!!

ShangHai Girls forced me to observe Chinese culture from the present day. In recent years, I try not to attach a judgement to my observation. For instance, an ancient practice in China is foot binding. I look down at my extremely wide, almost flat feet, and try to imagine these 11W's being only 3 inches long. Out of curiosity I just measured my left foot. The results: 4 inches at its widest and just over 10 inches long. My foot is wider than the length of what was considered a beautiful foot in China. Is it right? Wrong? Good? Bad? I am just an observer. Foot binding might sound strange to the present day observer but is it any stranger than women paying to have their face injected with botulin (poision) to remove wrinkles temporarily? Is foot binding more strange than implanting saline pouches to make body parts larger or more prominent? Is foot binding more strange than cutting a portion of the stomach out so that a patient is forced to eat less? Beauty certainly is dictated by society.

I traveled to Malta in 2006 and went on a tour of Gozo. On our way to the ferry that would take us across the harbor to the island of Gozo, the tour guide talked about the history of Gozo. She informed us that the island was filled with monolithic depictions of large women. Apparently, the measure of beauty for people of Malta and Gozo in centuries-past was a large woman. She represented fertility and beauty and ultimate femininity. As soon as we returned from Gozo, I went to a Maltese bookstore and purchased a book on the large female statues of Gozo. I still have that book and it looks fairly new because I have only thumbed through it once. I must preserve the book! It was the only one I could find that was in English.

ShangHai Girls mentions foot binding in passing but the second Lisa See book that I read, Snow Flower and the Secret Fan, goes into detail. If you have never seen what bound feet look like, please google it. I can barely stomach the sight of them. I imagine the significance of food binding, from a man's perspective, being symbolic of the loyalty of a woman to her husband. It must be very comfortable for a man to know that no matter how abusive or misogynistic he may be, his wife will never leave his side. Even if he were to take on concubines, in Chinese culture as I understand it, a woman's worth is intrinsically tied to her value to her husband.

Both books deserve a proper review of their own but who has the time? ShangHai Girls explores the life of two Chinese women and their experience of being forced to leave Shang Hai for America in an age of war. Cultural protocol is emphasized throughout; from behavioral expectations to the memory of the ancestors. Some of the practices may seem burdensome but not more than what some of us practice in our own cultures today. In Snow Flower, the book emphasizes class distinction and marriage as the tool to boost a woman's value. However, the true significance of the book is its presentation of a language created by women and only for women; a secret language! This is not pig-latin but an actual living language steeped in poetry and symbolism called nu shu.

The overwhelming feeling in both novels is very heavy and burdensome. I'm not sure if that is what the author means to portray. I assume that the measure for Chinese-American literature would be Amy Tan, author of The Joy Luck Club (made into a movie) and The Hundred Secret Senses. If you recall from Amy Tan's work, the relationship and protocol between male and female, mother and daughter, mother and son, are all very distinct and carefully tended to. The same is true in Lisa See's books. One gets the sense that this must be a token of Chinese culture - the heavy gloom and sadness associated with being a woman, forced to do hard things and make hard choices. The mood of female Chinese-American literature is one of eventual triumph over the hard facts of life. ShangHai Girls and Snow Flower do not disappoint. If anything, Lisa See's work is a definite reminder for women to be grateful that they can choose not to bind their feet (high heels). **giggles** A woman in modern America can choose her spouse, choose where she will live, choose the destiny of her life in open attempt (not in secrecy). And so today - today I am grateful to be me.

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Video Podcast Episode 4: Who Influenced You?

In my pursuit of living my biggest dream of writing full time, I want to pay homage to the teachers and books that have influenced me and fostered my love of reading and writing. Children that attended Hau'ula Elementary in the 80's will certainly recognize the two teachers that I mention.

Mr. Ho, who retired a couple of years ago, was my third grade teacher. My parents kept all my report cards from grade school and I laugh when I read them. Mr. Ho would say things like, "She's smart but has a bad attitude." "She wants to be the teacher." I can't help it. I have this natural curiosity, even back then, and was and still am verrrrry impatient. I am not proud of my behavior but there would be times when my impatience made me look like a know-it-all. Mr. Ho would ask a student to read out loud. It drove me crazy that he would NEVER pick me to read out loud. So when the chosen student would read out loud, and he or she would stumble over words, I would blurt out the sentence that they were having a difficult time reading. I can see now why Mr. Ho NEVER chose me. I was not the one that needed help. I was so eager to read through the sentences that were so simple for me not realizing that I was probably intimidating the student that was actually reading. Sorry.

Mr. Ho also had story time where the entire class would sit down on the floor. He would be seated on a chair, front and center. He would tell us ghost stories. The Man With the Golden Arm was a favorite. I knew how the story would end but the way he told it was always so surprising. It is a cherished memory from Mr. Ho's classroom.

In the 4th Grade, I had Ms. Elly Tepper. There are only a few teachers throughout my years that had the ability to make EVERY student feel special. She is one of them. Not only did she inspire my love for reading and writing but she really pushed me to love my culture. I don't believe she is a Pacific Islander but the way she embraced our music, dancing, and cultural practices made me love it more.  4th Grade at Hau'ula Elementary back in the 80's was the designated grade for learning Hawaiian History. The whole year was spent learning cultural practices of my Hawaiian ancestors and it culminated in a week-long, end-of-year trip to Hawai'i Island (where the volcano is). While there we visited ancient heiau (temples) and visit important historical places that we learned about throughout the year. We visited Pele (the fire goddess) at Kilauea. Ancient fish ponds. Summer palaces of the royalty before the kingdom was overthrown by greedy Americans. We danced hula in hotel lobbies and at schools. It was really a beautiful experience and I wish I had my journals from that time but those were lost in a flood.

When Ms. Tepper needed to calm the class down and get us to focus, or we were getting for a test, or we were about to meet an important guest in the classroom, or we were getting ready for a performance, or we were about to get off the bus on a field trip, she gave the most inspiring speeches. The emotion that she was able to pull from each and every student with her speeches will always stay with me. Even if your home life was horrible, when you entered Ms. Tepper's room you knew that she only saw us as little kings and queens. I cannot remember the words that she said but I certainly remember the feelings that she was able to evoke from me. She would walk around the room, between our desks, the heat of the day invading the classroom, and would remind us of our nobility. She was a big fan of the Hawaiian word, ha'aheo. It means proud, like how the mountains stand tall and proud. And she would use that word to remind us how to be. She would tell us to be dignified, proud, and remember always who we represent with our actions. I am a crybaby and there were times that my eyes were filled with tears from her pep talk. I don't ever remember being scolded. She was always firm and direct, not condescending at all. She is a bright light in the world of education in Hawai'i.

I hope that you sit back and contemplate the major influencers in what you are doing today. Maybe reach out to them and let them know the impact they made on your life. I looked up both Mr. Ho and Ms. Tepper and they are not on Social Media. But I am determined to find a way to reach out to them to let them know their impact on me. If you know them, send them a link to this blog post.

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Reading Update

I have completed several books in the past month.There are so many stories swimming around in my head and my opinion along with them. So here goes my attempt to evaluate them all.


The Twelve Tribes of Hattie by Ayana Mathis - An Oprah selection for her digital book club.

The book tells the story of Hattie by first telling the story of her children. I can't say that I adore the novel the way so many other people do. I appreciate the different characters (Hattie's children) but each character's story begs to be completed. All the issues that each of Hattie's children bring forward are never resolved. By the end of the book, I am left feeling UNRESOLVED. Like, whatever happens to Hattie's daughter that she gave to her sister? What about Hattie's bisexual son, Floyd the musician? And Six? What of him? There are a million other tales that could be told. So in my opinion the book comes off as being very...... DISJOINTED. There are no epiphanies just a ton of short stories weaved together. The book left me wanting more but not in a good way.


The Wolf Gift by Anne Rice - I have a thing for werewolves and vampire movies. Total infatuation with the Underworld movies!

Anne Rice is quite gifted at creating conflict in the reader. This book is no exception. Is the werewolf something we should be deathly afraid of or is it something to be revered and honored? The book certainly forces the reader to evaluate the traditional perception of a ravenous werewolf. The story takes place in the modern day with northern California as its backdrop. The story is fast paced with lots of interesting twists.


The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon by Stephen King - I have always been a Stephen King fan.... since Jack Nicholson chanted "redruM" on the big screen.

This story is centered around one girl's descent into the forest or maybe its a story about her ascent out of the forest. Her beacon of hope is the pitcher for the Red Sox, Tom Gordon. Her visions of him keeps her grounded in this world and trudging way off the beaten path. The reader can decide what the true value of the story is. It could be the little girl's triumph or the beautiful landscape in the northeastern U.S. **shrugs** I love Stephen King's writing. He's the guy that brought us Shawshank Redemption and IT and a host of other freakish tales. This book left me feeling very hopeful about life by the end of its pages.

Writing Exercise

In approaching the writing of a novel I have been doing several writing exercises to build my story properly. I don't suppose there's an actual "proper" way but using another person's template is proving to be very effective. Thus, my use of Book In A Month. You can find it on Amazon.

The most recent exercise called on me to answer the following question:
What keeps showing up in the stories I love to read?
Answering these questions requires me to think about all my favorite books and favorite authors.

My 4th grade Language Arts teacher read to the class The Island of the Blue Dolphins by Scott O'Dell. Every Friday afternoon, she would take out the book and read one chapter to us. I remember looking forward to it every Friday. She was so good at bringing the story to life. I feel so sad when I think of how really good teachers have no significant compensation for their work and their ability to influence generations. Miss Ellie Tepper has truly been an inspiration to me because of the work she did in that 4th grade class room. What did my 4th grade brain and heart love most about the book? I loved that the main character was not Caucasian/Anglo-Saxon/White. In other words, the heroine was someone I could identify with. Because of her non-White heritage and her island upbringing, she and I would be more alike than not. I found that very endearing.

This, above all, shows up the most in the stories that I love... my need to read stories about non-White women or women that are more like me. If I must read stories about non-White women then so too must I write and tell the story about women like me. Going even further back in time I remember loving the children's story book about John Henry and the Native American story Arrow to the Sun. These stories are in addition to the many native Hawaiian folktales that I accepted as my identity. Stories about Maui, Kamapua'a, Pele, Hi'iaka, the menehune.

The Color Purple by Alice Walker blew my reading world wide open! The movie is as authentic as it can be to the essence of the story. What I loved the most about The Color Purple is the format she chose to tell the story. Her letters to God reveal the life she lives and the life that is around her.

My mother loved to read but she favored Danielle Steele and Harlequin romances and I... uh... didn't/don't care for any of it! As a result, I was limited to the reading that was suggested by my school teachers.
I remember reading The Song of Solomon by Toni Morrison. I am not African-American but I remember feeling so fulfilled by the end of the story; so very bittersweet!

These are great books to think on and I can see the themes that continue to come up. So, I have concluded that I must write a story that has a female, non-Caucasian heroine.

The Post About Books

I am on the search for a new book to read. As I mentioned in the past couple of posts, I just completed WILD by Cheryl Strayed. It was pretty good. It definitely put me in a different state of mind, contemplating what I would do if I ever embarked on an 1100 mile hike. I guess we all have some kind of insurmountable "hike" like that. I actually have several journeys to travel to overcome all of my "hikes". God-willing, I will accomplish them all in this lifetime while I'm relatively young enough to enjoy the triumph. That is all beside the point though because this post is about books.

I am on a search for a book to read. My biggest problem is that I am unable to commit to one particular book or an author to read. I absolutely love Stephen King and Dean Koontz. I have probably read more of their books than any other authors out there. However, I am not really looking for that type of book.

I kind of want to read a really good love story. When I was fresh out of high school, I picked up Flyy Girl by Omar Tyree. This was in the era when Waiting to Exhale came out and the genre of "Urban Romance" came forward. Though I could not identify with how the characters were portrayed, I love being able to peer into another persons world. I suppose that's the best thing about reading... being a fly on the wall, observing everything, and contemplating how I relate to the story.

Every now and again I really love a historical novel. A novel that weaves history and fiction and the complexity of life into a beautiful story. Shark Dialogues by Kiana Davenport really did a number on me. I was so moved by the issues that the author focused on while still telling a fantastic story. It chronicles the life of several women whom are all related and all deal with their island heritage differently. The story is heartbreaking more than a story of triumph but sometimes the stories that hit closest to home are the ones that illuminates the reality of grief.

The book I have settled on for now or at least til Oprah releases the next book for her Book Club is...
Beautiful Ruins by Jess Walter. I didn't read all of the reviews because I hate SPOILERS but I did read enough to pique my interest. Love, a little bit of history. Let's do this!

Book Review: Wild by Cheryl Strayed

I just completed the book Wild (Oprah's Book Club 2.0 Digital Edition) by Cheryl Strayed. It's about a girl who starts on an 1100 mile hike across California and Oregon and through all the rough terrain in between.

...at last I found myself, bootless, in the summer of 1995, not so much loose in the world as bound to it. It was a world I'd never been to and yet had known was there all along, one I'd staggered to in sorrow and confusion and fear and hope. A world I thought would both make me into the woman I knew I could become and turn me back into the girl I'd once been. 

At the end of her journey, Cheryl evolves into a woman with the skills to take on the rest of her life. It is a beautiful memoir. Beautiful indeed. I believe this is the type of book I will write. I'm excited by the idea of turning my memories and thoughts into a published memoir. I am sure that my struggles and my epiphanies will be of use to many a lonely reader.

Up until late last night, I was at about 90% done with the book. I just could not keep my eyes open to finish off the final 10% of the book. So this morning I woke up super early to enjoy and relish the final pages of this wonderful memoir.

Cheryl's journey on the Pacific Crest Trail begins after having experienced the loss of her mother to cancer, the fracture of her family after her mother's untimely passing, and the demise of her marriage because of her own infidelities. If there were any a time for Cheryl to do some soul searching, it would seem that those three things I mentioned were ample material for her to embark on a path of enlightenment. Her path led her down (or up) a physically grueling hike across some of the most beautiful scenery in the West. I say "beautiful" because as I read the book, I googled all the images associated with the places she mentioned. The images ignites my sense of wonderment in relation to all the natural wonders on this beautiful planet.

I can certainly relate to two of the most difficult things that Cheryl endured. First is the demise of her marriage. I have blogged about my first marriage on many occasions. Second is the loss of her mother. Though Cheryl had a very nice relationship with her mother. My relationship to mine was littered with my selfish, unapologetic brashness of immaturity because of her old-school parenting. I wish I could take back so many years of me keeping my mother at a distance. But I know that she understands my frailties and can see everything from a much more grand vantage point.

One of the worst things about losing my mother at the age I did was how very much there was to regret ...The thought of my youthful lack of humility made me nauseous now. I had been an arrogant asshole and, in the midst of that, my mother died. Yes, I'd been a loving daughter and yes, I'd been there for her when it mattered, but I could have been better. I could have been what I'd begged her to say I was: the best daughter in the world.

I wonder if Cheryl's words are having an effect on me.

Alone had always felt like an actual place to me, as if it weren't a state of being, but rather a room where I could retreat to be who I really was. The radical aloneness of the PCT had altered that sense. Alone wasn't a room anymore, but the whole wide world, and now I was alone in that world, occupying it in a way I never had before.

I often feel like ALONE is a place I want to be. I want to be ALONE to follow my own paths and dreams and to bring my life into a peaceful alignment. I want to become the person I must authentically and genuinely be. As women, some of us take on the heavy burden of caring for everyone except ourselves. I no longer want to be that woman. But how does one UNTANGLE from all the burdens that have been heaped upon our shoulders? Cheryl quotes her mother:

"I never got to be in the driver's seat of my own life," she'd wept to me once, in the days after she learned she was going to die. "I always did what someone else wanted me to do. I've always been someone's daughter or mother or wife. I've never just been me. 

So who am I? I still don't know. I want to make choices independent of my "role" as wife or daughter or sister or friend. I want to make choices that fit who I am, authentically.

Needless to say, Cheryl Strayed truly has a gem on her hands. I'm thankful Oprah resurrected her Book Club. I look forward to our next read.

Seattle In Review

Husband and I went to Seattle last weekend. We spent just a day in Seattle but visited enough places to generate a review.

Directly from the airport, husband and I headed over to Pikes Market. I posted the pics in a previous post. I got some really good shots. I wish it weren't so cold. I would have really enjoyed it more. The market is open air and unheated. Brrrr.... that morning we arrived it was in the low 30's.

The treasure find of our visit to Pikes Market was Left Bank Books. Bookstores always attract me especially the tiny ones. They have the best book selection for people like myself and my husband. Several of the books that I have on my Amazon.com wish list were in the store and since they were running a sale, I bought a couple of them. From what we were able to gather, the store is in a temporary location for a couple weeks while their old location gets some needed earthquake upgrades. Their temporary locale is quaint and very intimate (I haven't seen the normal location). It doesn't feel sterile like a big Borders or Barnes and Noble. It's like comparing a hospital room (Borders) to your bedroom at home (Left Bank Books). There's just no comparison. I rather be in my own bed where there's still good energy in the room and where I feel alive. I don't want to be in a sterile environment.

There were two clerks in the store. They were helpful and seemed to be really interested in the topics and subjects of the books they were selling. I love that! I like to imagine that they thought of each and every book like it was a pet. They knew each one by name and all the wonderful things it could do. It seemed as if they knew a lot about every single book that we picked up to browse. I love that! In comparison to a Borders shop where the workers hardly acknowledge my presence, many of them are not well read, it's just too impersonal. Give me the Mom & Pop over the big box store.

By my own estimate I'd guess that the store was maybe 10x10. It was not very large at all. The only word I could use to describe it, really, is intimate! $60 dollars later we left 4 Books richer:
Guns, Germs, and Steel
Willful Disobedience >>huge treasure because this book is HARD.TO.FIND.
Black Women and Feminism
Leopolds Ghost

After Pikes Market, we headed over to Southcenter Mall where my sister and her boyfriend took us to lunch. They selected Rain Forest Cafe... a place that none of us had eaten at. Of allllll the places I have ever... ever... eaten at, the Rainforest Cafe in Seattle is THE WORST. This is what I ordered and this is what is in the menu:

FISH TACOS
Your choice of tempura fried or blackened mahi mahi wrapped in corn tortillas with red cabbage, fresh cilantro, pico de gallo and our avocado cream sauce. Served with carribean rice and black beans.

Doesn't that sound delicious? The server, Mary, suggested the blackened mahi mahi. I have to say that the servers we encountered were all very good but they can't have repeat customers with the food they served us. The corn tortillas were very limp and greasy. The fish had no taste. What was I thinking eating mahi mahi in Seattle when there's an abundance of it in Hawai'i? The food was very, very bland. My husband selected fish and chips and the "chips" were very greasy. So -- skip the theme restaurant if you're looking for really good food. They probably make more money on the "novelty" things they sell like the tshirts and magnets and all that stuff. I will never eat there again. Even if the PR person contacted me to offer me a free meal -- I will NOT eat there. If they significantly change the menu and have more control over how the cooks are trained then I might consider.

Photo Credit

My new love... Forever 21. I visited the Tacoma Mall because my sister suggested it. The Forever 21 store in that mall is gigantic. It is almost as large as the anchor stores like JCPenny and Macys. Love it! I snagged several outfits and mix and match stuff that fit like a glove on my body. Many stores can't produce exceptional plus size clothing. Especially the WalMarts of the world but Forever 21 has it down! The prices are affordable. The clothes are trendy. Large selection. It has just become my new favorite store. Oh... Nordstrom Rack is another store that I didn't venture into until Seattle. I just always figured they didn't carry plus size clothes. I went in there because my sister suggested that it is one of the best places to get shoes. She was NOT kidding. They had my size also. Love it!

Husband and I ended that very cold evening doing take out from Red Robin. We get the same thing every time we go there -- Whiskey River BBQ Burger. Yumm-o! No Red Robin in Hawai'i so when we can, we always get a bite to eat there. They never disappoint. When you eat-in, bottomless fries. Terrible for the diet but easy on the wallet.

Dessert was @ Marie Callenders. This is the perfect example of how BIG stores cannot guarantee good quality baked goods. I'm not sure how Marie Callenders produces their baked goods but the cupcakes we purchased were HORRIBLE! Just like the Rainforest Cafe, I will never consume anything from Marie Callenders ever again. Yuck!

My review of Seattle sounds so negative but at the same time I had such a good time.... had excellent quality time with my husband. It was our late Valentines celebration. I spent a ton of money in Nordstrom Rack and Forever 21. Spoiled!

Book Review (Mid Read): The Bonesetter's Daughter

The Bonesetter's Daughter
By Amy Tan

The last time I read an Amy Tan novel (The Hundred Secret Senses) was more than ten years ago. I don't remember the story at all, yet I remember being impressed with the movement of the story. The way Amy Tan weaves American values with Chinese cultural identity has always fascinated me. It resembles my own life and struggle with pop-American "cult"ure and my very Polynesian heritage.

The Joy Luck Club is, by far, Amy Tan's most popular novel probably because it was made into a movie. This particular story covered a wide range of women issues centering on the sacrifices made for the sake of daughters. But deeper than that, it focused on the delicate mother-daughter relationship and how the generational gap can be bridged. The movie, in my opinion, is a dramatic masterpiece and should be a foundation for any chic-flick collection!

Thanks to my previous run-in's with Amy Tan's writings, I selected The Bonesetter's Daughter to read this week. I have to admit that I am just a hundred pages into the story yet I can already see Tan setting up the mother-daughter dynamic. She is also incorporating the conflicting east versus west argument. I'm interested in seeing where this book will lead and how it will all reconcile. So far, there is no mention of a bonesetter but it's very well-written. Rather, it's an easy read and not overly verbose.

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Photo Credit

I'm Majoring In...

Last July I started on my undergrad degree. I've put it off for so many years. Now that I'm in full swing and in the "student" mindset, people are asking me what I'm majoring in. I always answer, "I'm not sure yet. I'm still undeclared." But I've known for quite sometime what my major would be. In fact, I've already declared it and will begin the course work in a few weeks.

I've considered a few different majors. When I first graduated from high school, I started out thinking I was going to be an English major. That desire quickly faded as soon as I attempted English 250. It wasn't the teacher that made the course off-putting. I think it was our reading selection. No, actually it wasn't that either because Dr. Peterson turned me on to The Color Purple by Alice Walker... not the movie... but the book that the movie is based on. I still have the copy of the book that I purchased for the class. My notes are still in the margins and I hold it dear to my heart.

It must be that special time in life when you're in between being a child and an adult. Every experience becomes discovery. The Color Purple (the book) engaged me like no other book had done prior, excluding The Island of the Blue Dolphins when I was in the fourth grade. The Color Purple led to the discovery of Langston Hughes and Toni Morrison, Maya Angelou and Zora Neale Hurston. I was absolutely head over heels in love with the Black experience. (Funny sidenote: one of my current Caucasian professors told me that it was not PC to use "Black" in referring to African-American's. I feel like it sounds more me to say "Black". I certainly don't want to offend anyone by using the term "Black". What do you think? Leave me a comment!) Anyway, enough with the nostalgic visit to semesters past. The demise of my infatuation with English, as a major, died when I miserably failed at a reaction paper I wrote about The Tell Tale Heart by Edgar Allen Poe.

My next consideration was something in Fine Arts. Music, maybe Visual Arts. However after my first private piano lesson, I was intimidated by the amount of time I'd have to put into changing my terrible piano playing habits that had been handed down to me from my "round-the-way" piano teachers. The instructor, bless her heart, was a little lady with the thickest glasses. Mrs. Kekauoha was very patient with me but I eventually dropped out. Next, I took a 300 level drawing course and was quickly humbled by being surrounded by the most talented artists. What I should have done was start the visual arts classes at the beginner level but the pride and arrogance of youth got the best of me and I started where I "thought" was appropriate for my skill level. I suppose it's all a part of maturing; learning that there's always someone that is more talented, more intelligent, more creative, more everything... than me!

All previous attempts at college was foiled by my inability to decide on a path. I think that has plagued my life up until a year ago. My husband has truly inspired me. He finished his undergrad in 3 years and just graduated last June. Him, being able to accomplish that in such a short period of time really transformed the way I think about school. It has changed the way I envision my life and enables me to actively pursue things that I love. Get it right though, I still don't LOVE school but it is a means to an end.

I look at my entire adult life and have observed a behavioral pattern. I seemed to have put my whole entire life on hold to support others in their endeavors. My 30's will be all about me! Yikes, I'll be 35 in August... so the second half of my 30's will be all about me. What can I say? I'm a late bloomer! I am so amazed at how much creativity enters my mind. I've had so much time in the past 4 months to just BE and to allow my creativity to come forward. It has been suppressed for so long behind the rat race necessities like... work, work, work. Nothing stifles creativity, for me, like being chained to a job.

This brings me to the point of this post. I will be majoring in Philosophy. What can be done with a Philosophy major? Well, stay tuned as I touch on my favorite philosophers.

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Color Purple Photo Credit

One of Them : Part I

When I was younger, I never thought I'd be 'ONE OF THEM'. Yet I find myself steadily more comfortable being 'ONE OF THEM'.

ONE OF THEM (in the context of this post) equals what most people call conspiracy theorists. However, I don't think of myself as a theorist because that would imply that there is no evidence to support the conspiracy. And there are many conspiracies in the world today, as there were in the politics of long ago. It would be foolish to think that all the governments of the world are squeaky clean, especially when a solid standard of ethical behavior is absent.

I have an uncle (not a biological uncle but a "calabash" uncle, as we call it in Hawai'i), who has been speaking about government intrigue for years. He is always the first person I think of when someone says "conspiracy theorist". As a teenager, the discussions my uncle would have with my parents would become almost uncomfortable. He'd talk about inflation, war, fiat currency, indoctrination, Rockefeller's, Rothschild's, etc. and all of it bucked the information I had received in the public school curriculum.

In my Hau'ula Elementary education, I learned to sing American patriotic songs and to pledge allegiance to a piece of cloth (the flag), along with the math and the reading. A good portion of my time was spent learning about U.S. history that illustrated them in a very positive light. To hear something other than that, like how my uncle vehemently opposed U.S. policy, was downright BLASPHEMY. **laughing** At least it was back then. Many years later, here I am... ONE OF THEM. ONE OF THEM like my uncle, a conspiracy theorist/"conspir-ist".

I suppose my journey began when I heard an hour long synopsis of The Creature From Jekyll Island, presented by its author G. Edward Griffin. I read the book, immediately thereafter. I was amazed then, as I still am now, at how much things began to make sense in regards to how money works in the modern era; the founding of The Federal Reserve; the Great Depression; the founding of social welfare; etc. (Hear the hour long synopsis here....)


This was the "red pill" (for Matrix fans like myself) that sent me down the rabbit hole. I became interested in the information that was withheld from my liberal, public education. Immediately upon finding out that The Federal Reserve was an illegal entity, I researched the Internal Revenue Service and found them to be a pseudo-government entity. That really rocked my world. Under the direction of fellow conspir-ists, I FOIA'd my IRS file. (FOIA=Freedom of Information Act). I wanted to attempt to withdraw from having to deal with the IRS but it's nearly impossible to operate without paying the piper. I know. I know. We were indoctrinated to be happy tax-payers. It's supposed to be our privilege and our duty as happy U.S. citizens. Right? Well, I'll save that discussion for another post because it deserves its own post. Right now, this narrative is about how I became ONE OF THEM.

The next book I read was Confessions of an Economic Hitman by John Perkins. Click HERE to read an excerpt I posted on this blog, a couple years ago.

I bet some of you are reading this and are conveniently labelling me a FANATIC. **laughing** I wish I could wake up even a few. A few of you could turn off CNN or FOX and form your own opinion rather than the opinion of a network that is paid to entertain you, put a spin on politics, and influence your opinion. They are not there to educate you. C-SPAN is a better option. No spin! You actually watch the proceedings, whether in the Senate or Congress, or you watch forums on topics that pertain to you.

**heavy sigh** At first, I had a difficult time trying to balance the new information with normal living. I had been fooled for so many years. I felt like I had been jolted awake. I looked around at my extended family and found that they were still asleep, as are many of you that will read this. I encourage you to watch/listen the video. If you are unconvinced, you can dismiss the information. However, I think many of you will find your interest piqued and a desire to learn more.

I am ONE OF THEM and I am so awake!

**RAISING MY GLASS**
"To Awakenings!"

Wandering Around the Bookstore

I have a serious addiction to Amazon.com and purchasing books. When I was younger, on occasion, our family would go to the mall. My favorite place to be in the whole mall was the bookstore. I could sit there for hours on end browsing titles and reading the first couple of chapters of books that seemed interesting. I loved looking at comic books and seeing the beautiful illustrations. I love looking at photo books of far-off destinations and scenery of distant lands. Books were my escape as a young girl.

As a teen, I was interested in the young adult fiction section but none of the experiences of caucasian teenagers could hold my interest for very long. Their experiences were not similar to mine at all. I consider that most in approaching the writing of my first novel. I want to feed the need of a Polynesian young person perusing the bookstore shelves for books for "us" and about "us". I think about powerful stories like Pouliuli, by Albert Wendt. His portrayal of familial responsibility, as defined by Samoan culture, hurts to the bone. Yet the desire to please family seems universal.

I remember identifying with the Scott O'dell book, Island of the Blue Dolphins. Not only was the main character, Karana, marooned on an island but she witnessed the desecration of her people by foreigners. My 4th Grade Language Arts teacher, Miss Elly Tepper, read a single chapter from this book to us every week. Here I am, 25 years after having first experienced that book, marooned on my island by choice and witnessing the desecration of Hawaiian people and Hawaiian land. I feel so utterly helpless, almost, in regards to the foreigners total disrespect of native people. Had the white man never reached these shores, would my ancestors still be living as Karana did? Would we be able to roam free on our land, fish our waters and truly enjoy life; food and beautiful objects being our only currency? I wonder!

I think of books like The Isis Papers. I never seen this book in a regular bookstore. I acquired it from my ex-husband. The first time I read it, I couldn't even finish it. I thought her ideas on white supremacy and male dominance were beyond wild and crazy. At that point in my life, she was asking me to push beyond my limited experience, beyond reason, to accept her ideas. Now, as a somewhat mature, more open-minded thinker, I see the truth in her words. I laugh at how some of her ideas explain events in history. I warn readers about this book because it will truly push your minds boundaries to its limit! DO NOT acquire this book unless you can stomach extreme description of the male and female anatomy, to say the least.

As an aging adult, time has moved beyond bookstores in the mall to shopping in the comfort of my home. The bookstore has finally come to me. At the touch of a button, millions of books are at my disposal! Thank you Amazon.com, for bringing the book world to me! It truly aids me in my effort to keep my mind quick and strong and free-thinking. I cannot be bound by ignorance with so much knowledge in the universe.

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**Photo Credit: Bookshelves

What I'm Reading

I just started reading, The Audacity of Hope by Barack Obama. I didn't vote for Obama this past November, opting for the more obscure Libertarian candidate, Bob Barr. I once identified myself with the Democratic party but have become disillusioned with the current political leadership in any party. Thus, my decision to vote outside of the popular candidates.

Deciding to read the words of the President-Elect, Barack Obama, is about choosing to follow him and give him the respect he has earned as the elected leader. I want to know more about him, in his own words. I was thoroughly impressed to find this gem in the first couple of pages of the book:

"You seem like a nice enough guy. Why do you want to go into something dirty and nasty like politics?"

I was familiar with the question, a variant on the questions asked of me years earlier, when I'd first arrived in Chicago to work in low-income neighborhoods. It signaled a cynicism not simply with politics but with the very notion of a public life, a cynicism that - at least in the South Side neighborhoods I sought to represent - had been nourished by a generation of broken promises. In response, I would usually smile and nod and say that I understood the skepticism, but that there was -- and always had been -- another tradition to politics, a tradition that stretched from the days of the country's founding to the glory of the civil rights movement, a tradition based on the simple idea that we have a stake in one another, and that what binds us together is greater than what drives us apart, and that if enough people believe in the truth of that proposition and act on it, then we might not solve every problem, but we can get something meaningful done. (Italics and boldface added for drama.)

I want to believe that he is everything he purports to be. I love that he is an intelligent man, an intelligent Black man, and intelligent Black man from Hawai'i! I love that he is confident, self-assured, and very prepared when speaking. He is eloquent and is careful with his speech. He appears genuine. I believe he will bring a sense of "solemnity" to the White House.

I am believing in Barack to make the changes he promised he'd make. I wish him well as he embarks on the journey of being the most powerful figure in the Free World!

***Now... back to my reading!***

Angels & Demons : My Final Word

**Warning: If you've never read the book and plan on reading it... you might not want to read my final word.**

My final comment on this book: "Don't believe the HYPE!"

This novel is not something I'd usually be interested in. I know my first post about this book hinted at me enjoying the author's writing. I change my mind! However, he does have a few pages in there that are worth reading... no, never mind... the entire book was mumbo jumbo about catholocism and science, illuminati and wild chases around Rome and the Vatican. The only reason I kept at it was because I thought there'd be a wonderful payoff at the end. Don't believe the HYPE.

The story was simple yet complicated. Simple because you knew what HAD to happen to progress to the next event. Complicated because the author complicated the story with the event. Everything was predictable. And did I tell you that the MAJORITY of the book is based on a 24-hour period? That is ONE.LONG.RUN.ON.SENTENCE.

The main characters, Robert Langdon and Vittoria Vetra, are on a chase to prevent the murder of four key cardinals that are up for the papacy. The clues on this chase are found in classic art. Some of the connections the author made with the art were so far fetched and beyond belief. For me, part of reading a novel is imagining that the fiction is REALITY. That just didn't happen with any of the events. It was COMPLETELY unbelievable. One of the most absurd EVENTS happened to be one of the FINAL events in the book where the main character survives a free fall from a helicopter that was about three miles up. NO CHANCE.

I'm just really disappointed. Too many stories. Too many scandals. Too FAR FETCHED!

And the end! The end was soooo unworthy of the time I invested in reading. Sickening! I should have listened to myself and NOT bought the book.... borrow it, maybe! My final word... DON'T BELIEVE THE HYPE!

Fiction : Angels & Demons

I started reading Angels & Demons, by Dan Brown, the author of The DaVinci Code.

I bought the paperback version on Saturday at K-Mart. My sister-in-law highly recommended the book. She said she couldn't put it down and absolutely DID NOT want the book to end. Another friend of mine said the same thing. So, I have to investigate the hype.

Lately, all I've been reading is non-fiction. This novel is perfect for me to transition back to fiction. Plus, I want to read The DaVinci Code because I hear it's coming out in theatres soon.

So I'm on page 52, chapter 15. So far, it's been an "okay" read. There's been a murder. The corpse has been branded with "illuminati". The corpse happens to be a physicist at a super secure, secret hide-away of the worlds top physicists.

The story definitely piques my interest. More than likely, I'm interested because of the way he rights rather than the content. Does that make sense? I mean, he could be talking about 'how to make a pb&j sandwich' and I think I'd be into it.

So has anybody else read it?
What were your thoughts on it?