Monday, December 08, 2014

Thursday, September 25, 2014

Homecoming 2014: Red Raider Legacy

It's the eve before my High School Alma Mater's homecoming. It is absolutely my favorite event at my Alma Mater. Since my dear friend and classmate became the Student Activities Coordinator, I have volunteered many hours in assisting him with the social events at the school. For the last couple of years I have done the portraits for the Homecoming Court and I'm preparing to do it again this year. This time around though, I'm going to attempt to make it a fun event and help the kids loosen up BEFORE we do the actual photo shoot.

The theme this year is Welcome to the Jungle. I have no idea what the inspiration is behind the theme choice but the students and alumni really got into it. Perhaps its because our opponent is the Leilehua Mules. One of the most cherished activities is the homecoming cheer fest. Every class gets together and choreographs a cheer and dance. They practice for weeks. It's a cheer competition between the classes, pep rally style. The entire community comes out to watch it on the Football Field. This video features the alumni this year.

 

We are truly proud of our high school alma mater and the ties we all have to each other. We have a really good time. Many alumni help each class with their cheer and their choreography. The prize is bragging rights. Even now, we talk trash about the types of costumes that other classes used during our high school years.

I think the Seniors should have won this year but they placed third. There's a very strict judging and penalty criteria involved in selecting the winner; from staying within the time parameters to not using vulgar words or dance moves. The winner truly gains major bragging rights until the end of time. It's that serious! Here are the seniors. They did so good!


So as I gather my thoughts for my photo shoot tomorrow, I look back at all the tradition we have carried throughout the years. I will remind my little homecoming court about tradition and legacy, about courage, about loving self, about having fun, and mostly about choosing to be happy. Let's do this young raiders!

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Lady Raider Wisdom


Nestled between the northern tip of the Ko'olau Mountain Range and the beautiful Pacific Ocean is a gem of a school. Dubbed the Pride of the North Shore since the late 70's and featuring a menehune mascot, Kahuku High and Intermediate School was a central fixture of the north eastern tip of O'ahu. This school once served elementary students, as well, until it was necessary to separate from the High School because of the exploding population.

Our Marching Band in the late 70's, into the 80's, and on until Mr. Michael Payton retired truly exemplified THE PRIDE OF THE NORTH SHORE. Our band was invited to the Rose Bowl every year to march in their parade. They did complicated choreography for half time shows. The band featured brass and winds and percussion instruments, exciting co-drum majors, color guards, and rifle units. It was a most exciting time to sit in the stands of a Kahuku game. For some backwards reason, the home team sat nearest the band room in the small little stands beneath the announcers for the football games. As a child, I would stand at the foot of the large light lamp near the band room to admire the marching band with their beautiful uniforms and costumes that were mostly black, red, and silver.

In the late 80's the mascot went from a menehune to an Indian head and now has evolved to a more modern take on an Indian head. The 1989 football season brought THE HOUSE OF PAIN shed, conveniently located toward the mauka endzone on the Red Raider side of the field. The red words were painted on the white surface of the shed and instantly instilled fear in all its opponents. A year or two after the painting, the Oahu Interscholastic Association forced the Red Raiders to take it down citing the psychological effects of the words... or at least that's the story that lives in local legend.

ESPN visited in the early 2000's. They did a special on our little school and the Red Raider tradition of football. At one point, Kahuku was tied with three other high schools for having the most players in the NFL at one time. Itula Mili, Chris Nae'ole, Aaron Francisco, and the Kemoeatu brothers. How could this little school in the middle of the Pacific with a beat-up track and a beat-up football field produce such great athletes?

Courtesy of Laie Voice
Though I did play volleyball for Kahuku, freshman year, my claim to fame was shot put and discus. I often won the MVP award and made the State All-Stars team every year. No one knows my accomplishments because Track is under the radar at Kahuku. Track & Field is thought of as a mandatory-but-not-mandatory spring practice for football players. The Honolulu Advertiser even featured a picture of me in action. The picture was so crimz!

One of the funniest things I remember happened my Senior Year at the State Track and Field meet on Maui. I was so bummed that I couldn't participate in May Day because it was the same time as the meet. I begged my dad to let me fly home for May Day then come back to the meet but he said no. So I decided to make the best of my time at States. The shot put event consists of one person in a ring, throwing an 8# ball into a field, as far as possible. The ring is a fixed, set size with a toe board separating the thrower from the field. So there I am in my 2nd or 3rd attempt in the State Finals. You get three tries. I get into the ring. Silence all around me. The lights of the field are bright, the Maui wind's in my favor. Nothing was going to break me. I face the back of the ring, nestle the shot put into my neck, get into the proper stance. The suspense is building for all the on-lookers and I am shivering with nerves. I know my father is watching from the stands, with his binoculars. My right foot is bent, my left leg stretched out behind me. I kick back with my left leg, slide, turn around and my right foot hits the toe-board. It's supposed to hit the toe-board to stop the momentum, however this time... the momentum was too much and DID NOT stop me from my forward progression. Instead, the toe board tripped me and I went flying into the dirt field and the umpire yells, "SCRATCH!" I think the umpire was expecting me to cry but I sat there and laughed, hysterically. Even now, it makes me laugh when I think of how ungraceful I was with my body but accepted my embarrassment with class and took the Gold medal in 1993.

This brings me to my point. Inside the heart of every Red Raider boy and girl lies the heart of a champion. There is no need for approval from the world. There is no need for recognition. There is no need for permission to wear my pride like a badge. I don't need the accolades of my peers because what I did as a Lady Raider was for my family and for all the Red Raiders that preceded me. If I fall, I get up and keep going.

What we do as Lady Raiders is a gift to all the little Red Raiders that are admiring us. We come from the best stock. We come from a tradition of being the best champions, the best winners, the classiest losers. And what we have more than anyone else in this entire state is HEART. When the going gets tough and we're faced with looming defeat, and we have to dig deep to win, all we have is our HEART. All you have right now is HEART to pull you together, to pull you up, to separate you from the rest of the State that wants to see you fail. You are what the next generation wants to be. The responsibility is upon your shoulders to show your HEART.


This is the community we have that stands behind everything we do. Whether we were born and raised in the community or transplants, we are who we are because of all this HEART! This is our fan base! This is what stands with you!


Sunday, August 03, 2014

Birthday Wish List: NeenaLove Edition

Tomorrow's my 40th Birthday Eve birthday....I'm turning 39.

******
EVERYBODY: What do you want for your birthday?

ME: I'm fine. I have everything I need.

EVERYBODY: No, really. What do you want for your birthday?

ME: I like homemade stuff -- stuff that people actually took some time to make.

EVERYBODY: Really? Are you sure?

ME: I'm sure.

EVERYBODY: There has to be something you like that can be bought.

ME: ...sure
******

So here's the high ticket items on my Amazon Wish List... a lot of these items have been there for awhile. LOL... but all of them are so me! So very me! One day I will get around to purchasing them. Here's the link to the rest of the ---->> Amazon Wish List <<---- br="">




 Nikon 24mm f/1.4G ED... Prime Wide Angle
 



Tuesday, July 22, 2014

i.can.do.hard.ish

Patti Austin is one of my most favorite singers of all time. She sings a song called, "If This is the Last Time." The lyrics of the song, the beautiful melody and arrangement, her soulful voice contribute to an exquisite song.



When my ex-husband and I were separating after four years of marriage, Patti's beautiful song got me through the tragedy of separation. It could have only led to divorce because of the amount of heartbreak that I felt. I am going through my old writings and am experiencing the heart ache all over again... like it's happening right now. I am so amazed that my journals can move me like this. I'm sitting in front of this computer, listening to Patti on repeat as I read through the old memories. It could never be said of me that I did not love that man. Even now, after all the pain, I can still recall so many wonderful experiences.

There's nothing, absolutely nothing, like falling in love for the first time. He was the one that I loved without inhibition. There's only one love like that. And even though I am in a very committed relationship, ten years strong, I still recall the magic of first love along with the broken heart. The pain of that first love surely makes me who I am today. That terrible heart ache broke me down but I now know the limits of my heart.

I smirk at my writing from 13 years ago and the extreme romanticism of believing that love had no limits. It could have been my young, tender age that made me such a hopeless romantic. Strewn across so many of the pages of my journals are professions of my love for my ex-husband.
"I will love you forever"
"I will always love you."
"You will always be the only one for me."
"Long as I live... you will always be... my first love."
"Only ONE man for me."
"He owns my heart."
All these professions indicate my naivete in matters of the heart at that time. I'm no guru now but I surely do know that there are just some things that I will absolutely NOT put up with. God Bless my parents and family for standing ever so patiently as I made my way through all that hard stuff. Though they tried to prevent me from having to go through it, all they could really do is sit back and let me experience life. My heart aches even now when I think of how much love I felt for that man. He was perfection to me and yet so very flawed and dysfunctional. I was lost in a crazy cycle of highs and lows.

And in all the craziness that comes with unrequited love, the best thing that emerged from that broken relationship is a stronger me:
A me that emerged, like a butterfly, from a cocoon of doubt.
A me that needed to be broken down only to realize that I was valuable even if he didn't want me.
A me that knew that him being a broken man didn't mean that I was a broken woman.
A me that still believed in love and that someone could love me with the same intensity that I offered.

Here I am. Here I stand as a testament that I can do hard shit. Excuse the language but there's just no other way to describe it. I.CAN.DO.HARD.SHIT.






Monday, July 21, 2014

Cookie Corner Question: Over Paid Edition

THE QUESTION: If you were over paid by your employer, would you tell? Inquiring minds want to know.
 
I ran an unofficial poll posing THE QUESTION. The responses I received were just as I expected.
-Yes. Tell your employer because they will find out.
-No because God was sending you a bonus because he knew you needed it.
-Yes. Tell your employer. Honesty is the best policy.
- No. Their mistake!


There was an extra $500 dollars on my most recent paycheck. At first, I thought that maybe the mistake was a banking error. I logged on to the company website and downloaded my pay stub. It was VERY clear that I had been over paid. My company paid me like this:
96 hours of straight pay
11 hours of sick leave
8 hours of vacation
=115 hours of pay

Really... this is what it should have been:
53 hours of straight pay
11 hours of sick
8 hours vacay
8 hours holiday (4th of July)
=80 hours

Don't get me wrong. I love the extra cash. It always feels great to get more money than expected. During my hour-long commute to work, I contemplated whether or not I should alert someone about this obvious oversight. The yin and yang conversation happening in my brain went something like this...
YIN: You earned that money. You always stay extra and aren't on the clock. You do a lot of things above and beyond the call of duty.
YANG: You are rationalizing dishonest behavior.

YIN: It wasn't my mistake. I didn't over pay myself.
YANG: You are rationalizing dishonest behavior.

YIN: No one is going to find out. And if they do find out, I didn't over pay myself.
YANG: You are rationalizing dishonest behavior.

YIN: If I'm over paid then there has to be others that are over paid. Let them report it to the company.
YANG: You are rationalizing dishonest behavior.

What I ended up doing is calling Financial Services. I wanted to talk to the person in charge of payroll. She's on maternity leave so I spoke to the person that was tasked with the job. He confirmed that what was in my bank account was not a banking error and that the company did pay me what was in my account. Next thing I did was text my favorite person in HR. Anyway, he was blown away and told me -- CHRISTMAS BONUS.... he was kidding. He told that whatever I am paid is from the hours that are uploaded by IT. I know that is just so crazy. There are tons of employees and I'm sure they can't manually check everyone. But maybe they should since I was over paid by 35 hours. Imagine that across the entire organization.

I know this seems like so much trouble to go through considering that this discrepancy was actually in my favor. Nothing was resolved on Friday and they're going to look into it on Monday. They will probably offset my next check to pay back for whatever was over paid to me. I really don't care if they do or if they don't.

The people I polled who were saying that I shouldn't tell my employer are probably wondering, "WHY?"
"Why, you fool?"
"Why would you tell someone that they gave you too much money?"
"Keep the money you bloody fool."
And I have my reasons. I most certainly do.

1. I did not earn that money. I did not work for all of those hours.
2. Based on reason #1, my character is in question if I didn't report the oversight. Honesty really is the best policy. A clear conscience is priceless.
3. It's the right thing to do.

The driving force behind my reasons really has to do with my state of mind. The psychology behind a "hoarder" or someone that would take the money and run is that they conduct their lives from a point of lack. This means that the psychology that drives them is one that says "I don't have enough...."
"I don't have enough so I have to take this money."
"I don't have enough so I cannot share."
"I don't have enough so I have to take yours before you take mine."
...the list can go on forever.

I am conducting my life from a stance of gratitude and that I always have enough. I always have what I need. I don't need to steal to get what I want because I always have everything that I want and need. I want to live in gratitude and resonate all the good vibrations that come from making good decisions. So though I would love to have an extra couple of hundred dollars, I know that I have exactly what I want and need and everything that I desire, I can have WITH A CLEAR CONSCIENCE.

I don't want to be better than anyone else. I just want to be better than who I was yesterday.




Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Fifty Shades... of Break Ups

I just completed the audiobook of Fifty Shades of Grey. I have to say that I didn't care too much for all the sex in the book and the BDSM actions. It was overkill. I did, however, enjoy the characters of Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey. None of the trailers or movies shorts on YouTube even come close to how I imagined the two characters. Anyway, **spoiler alert** throughout the book I was supremely irritated by Ana's naivete and Christian's mysteriousness. By the end of the book, though, I was rooting for both of them and hurting at the same time. I was so broken up. Ana's fall for Christian was so genuine. It reminded me of how I fell head over heels in love with my ex-husband, which of course led to our eventual break-up. By the end of Fifty Shades of Grey I was shedding tears over these fictitious characters and remembering the difficulty of falling in and out of love and dealing with the hard stuff of learning to trust someone else.

As soon as I arrived home from work, I dug out my journals from the years when my ex-husband and I were separated. I started reading and began crying as I read. I remember the feeling of not being needed by the man who I had given my heart to, with complete and utter abandon. Without going into a long and detailed explanation of our twisted relationship, the short story is that we separated after four years of marriage. He left me.You can dig in my blog archives for stuff that I've written about our ill-fated romance.

*****
DATE: 24 September 2002 (we had been separated more than a year)

I just wish my husband were here to make it all go away. But he's the other part of my emptiness. I still feel like I'm chasing him.

So what becomes of a faithful woman whose ONLY hunger is passionate, unconditional love? I tell him that I'll be here, waiting for him. But my life is just passing me by. When does it come back to me? I used to think that love could flourish with one person doing all the loving but it can't. To do that would be AGAINST the laws of nature. I need him to love me back the way I NEED to be loved and not the way he knows how. 

This year has been quite a struggle. I cry 2-3 times a week over this crazy love. And it doesn't affect him. Nothing I desire sways him EVER in my direction. Shane(fake name) wants what he wants when he wants it. I can't change that. I can't change him. I don't know if I mourn this strange love affair or... if I'm letting him go. I'm uncomfortable with both options. 

I just want to feel special. He doesn't make me feel special like it was when we first met. But even then, Shane had his walls up. I love him so much. I miss him like crazy. But I want it all. Don't I deserve it all?
*****

Break-ups are so hard. Going through my journal brings up all kinds of feelings. I have so much compassion on the person I used to be and who I am today is because I was that woman that suffered from unrequited love.

*****
DATE: 2 October 2002

My husband and I need to have a talk. I feel less than appreciated. I think he has stopped loving me. I'm a different woman than the one he left one year, one month, nine days, and three hours ago. I don't want half-a-commitment. I don't want to have to worry about him EVER leaving me...again. I don't want another birthday to pass unnoticed. I don't want to spend another Christmas apart. I don't EVER want to be alone on our wedding anniversary again. EVER!

What am I gonna do? There is an answer SOMEWHERE!!! Every time he needs a break from me, is he going to leave me? Is EVERYTHING ALWAYS my fault? I don't think he knows how much love I have for him. If he did, would he STILL treat me this way? And why do I have all this love for him when he gives me no reason. How do I know he loves me back?

Why do I continue to hold on when there is nothing in return?

He's supposed to be my best friend and some of these crucial feelings I'm afraid to share with him. Actually most of them. I try really hard to NOT feel sorry for myself and I do a pretty good job. But I'm tired of nagging myself to demand the love I need and deserve.

So many times throughout the day I see something that INSTANTLY reminds me of my husband. Could be the way someone smokes a cigarette. Could be a bald head. Or the way someone walks... and I think about him. 
*****

Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Fare Thee Well Ms. Angelou



I grew up on a small island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. In the 80's, in my family and friends circle, Maya Angelou was not a familiar name. However in my house, after I saw this episode of A Different World, Maya transformed into my favorite author. These were the days before DVR where you actually had to watch an episode at its scheduled time. Well, I take that back. If you had a VCR or Betamax, you could certainly program it to record your favorite shows. Of course, video cassettes only lasted 2-4 hours and if you had the most recent model, you could probably even get up to 6 hours of video play.

This episode centers around a college classroom where they are practicing Public Speaking. Their assignment is to give their own eulogy. Right at about 11:45 into the episode, Josie gets up and she talks about her aunt giving her a book "that changed her life" and it was a volume of Maya Angelou poems. Josie mentions "Still I Rise" being the one poem that made her want to be a poet. Just the title, "Still I Rise," made this Pacific Island girl so curious about this poet, Maya Angelou.

I was probably in the tenth grade when this episode aired. The internet was a couple of years away. Google was at least a decade away, which meant the research to find Maya Angelou had to be done at a bookstore or the public library. I think the public library was just moving to a LINUX type database. The mouse and the operating system that required the mouse was probably in its infancy at this point. We had to use the regular card catalog where everything was arranged by the Dewey Decimal system. Libraries still use the Dewey Decimal system but it's so much easier to search a database by using keywords rather than trying to find it by topic. Now, I can search, order, and reserve stuff at the public library from my SmartPhone. I use it liberally. I can download audiobooks to my phone and kindle books. Technology is amazing but I relish my childhood experiences in the library. Times have surely changed.

Whenever I went to the mall with my parents, I headed straight to Waldenbooks. It was located where PacSun is currently located. If you looked out the bookstore and across the common areas, McDonalds was on the right and Tilt arcade was on the left. I had no desire to be at the arcade, I was much more comfortable browsing the aisles of Waldenbooks.

On the weekend after watching this episode, I had one mission alone and it was to find a Maya Angelou book. The only book they had from her was in the young adult section, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings. It was a paperback and I begged my parents to buy it for me. Having what I think was a perfect childhood, my world was shattered when I read that book. The heart break, the pain, the heaviness of what she wrote only made me more in love with her words. How she conveyed so much emotion with words is still so very magical to me. My freshmen year in college, all my ENGLISH 101 essays were inspired by her poetry. Caged Bird was definitely my favorite back then.

I honor you dear Maya. I pray that in another lifetime our paths will cross and we will exchange beautiful poetry. All it took was a short thirty second blurb on a TV show to turn me into a fanatic. Thank you for your magic. It has truly inspired me. While others are familiar with your popular works:
Alone
Still I Rise
Phenomenal Woman
On the Pulse of Morning

I, on the other hand, in my fiery young adulthood was always a fan of To A Husband. Farewell Ms. Angelou. I pray your new birth is as magnificent as this one has been. May your words transcend time. Fare thee well.


To A Husband

Your voice at times a fist
          Tight in your throat
Jabs ceaselessly at phantoms
          In the room,
Your hand a carved and
          Skimming boat
Goes down the Nile
          To point out Pharaoh's tomb

You're Africa to me
          At brightest dawn.
The Congo's green and
          Copper's brackish hue,
A continent to build
          With Black Man's brawn.
I sit at home and see it all
          Through you.

Monday, May 05, 2014

Our Paths Will Cross Again

The thing is we think we have time.

But we don't.

Everyday is, well, often wasted on trivial matters at work or at school or focused on stupid things that will never matter and possibly don't matter right now.

The things that really matter happen with people you love or people you used to love but don't anymore; or people that you used to love but have allowed years of anger to build up between you.

The things that really  matter happen when forgiveness prevails and anger and hurt dissipate into oblivion.

The things that really matter happen when unconditional love and unconditional acceptance are the common bond between me and thee;

**heavy sigh**


My hanai brother passed peacefully in the wee hours of Saturday, May 3rd, 2014. The details surrounding his passing is best preserved in my memory and private journal. It was sudden and unexpected.

I thank you "e-fee". That was my name for him. I am so grateful for all the ways you have been a shining light in my life. And though your light fades in this world, I know it is a bright, shining sun in the next. I love you. I miss you. I honor you!

The best thing about death is that it is an utter realization of my own mortality. I honor his transition into his next birth. I cherish the moment that I will meet him again, in whatever incarnation he appears. I trust that our paths will cross again in some unknown location, across the stars, and somewhere in the wide universes; I believe. No, I know we will meet again and we will love and know each other and pick up right where we left off.


Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Resolutions 2014: Journaling My Goals

It has been a while since I last blogged. It obviously has not been a priority for me even though I want it to be. I used to blog while at work during my down time. I work at a university so down time is right around mid-term. There's no hustle and bustle associated with that point in a semester. Right now is down time and I have too many ideas in my brain and no discipline to sit down and write. What I really hate is the interruptions. Since I inherited scheduling the use of my building, I get requests all day long and interruptions. I'm grateful though since it keeps me busy all the time.

I have several story board outlines for novels that are occurring in my brain but no real fruit from the story boards. I have a debate in my brain about handwriting it in a composition book versus typing it out in a MS Word document. Of course the latter seems much more practical but I find that I "over-edit" when I type. I try to create the perfect sentence and edit as I go along. Whereas, most successful authors suggest free writing and not editing until the entire story is complete. I read that Stephen King does the same. He is one of my favorite authors. The twists and turns he comes up with just boggles my mind. I also love Toni Morrison. There is debate around her style of writing being so complicated. I find her work to be very character-driven. I think I am that kind of writer. One of my most favorite books of all time is Song of Solomon by Toni Morrison. The way she constructs characters really brings them to life.

I have crazy goals that I wrote down but nothing really pulling them all together. I started an investment class that I thoroughly enjoy. The only problem is that we started playing with a simulator platform that allows you to trade with fake money. What's wrong with that, right? Well, the problem is that all the simulations that I have done has been very, very profitable -- I wish it were real money. **sigh** I made a silent commitment to myself that I WILL NOT participate in these investments until I reach a more important goal: HEALTH. Yes, I have put the priority of losing weight above my desires to continue to grow my wealth. The logic that drives it: if I'm unhealthy, how can I enjoy my riches? Truly, the best gift I can give to myself is to be healthy.

There is no time like right here and right now to do all the things that I want. Instead of participating in sporadic, chaotic, scattered goals, I am prioritizing them and getting it all together. I can't do everything at once because I need to be "all in" for one project. So here it is in a very particular order.

1. HEALTH - release 50 pounds forever.
Why?
*To increase my quality of life now and forever.
*To feel better and have more energy
*To not rely on medication or medical intervention for chronic illness
*To look better
*To be able to shop ANYWHERE and not have to see if the store has a "plus-size" section
Deadline: August 4th, 2014 - ambitious, aye?
This pic of me was 10 years ago and about 30 pounds ago. If I can get to that by June, I think I will hit my 50# goal by my deadline.

2. INVEST - to get at least 20% returns on my discretionary income
Why?
*To actively be engaged in growing my income
*Personal satisfaction of having "money in the bank"
*To relieve the stress that comes from debt
*To prepare for retirement
Deadline: I give myself 3 months to make my first deposit into my TD-Ameritrade account. Once I put the money in, I'm sure I can yield at least 20% by the end of the year. I have a great mentor; one that I am very grateful for.

3. FARM BUSINESS PLAN
Why?
*I'm a doomsday prepper - healthy food is better than gold especially in a famine.
*To be able to eat from the yield of the earth, planted and harvested by my own hands
*To contribute to the earth by being a sustainable farmer
*To create a sustainable community
*To teach the next generation that food comes from the earth and not the super market
*Because I feel such love for the earth - we live in such a beautiful world
Deadline: I will give myself six months to complete and be in the beginning stages of implementation. I think I can do this!

4. COMPLETE ONE NOVEL
Why?
*It's been a dream for so long
*I want to write the book that I wanted to read when I was a pre teen
Deadline: March 1st, 2015 - that's almost an entire of year to complete this.

Well, I've just put my whole entire heart out there. I'm going to print this out and plan my life around achieving these goals. When I have achieved my goals you will hear me say that this aint luck baby -- this is hard work and dedication. I am planning my success!!

Here weeeeeeeeeee goooooooooo!



Thursday, March 13, 2014

The dream was so vivid.

I felt like I was truly experiencing it ... all the trappings of a woman that is cheating on someone whom she loves dearly; cheating with a man that she used to love.

I think that we never get over a person we truly loved/love... no matter the time and distance. 

Thursday, January 30, 2014

Goodbye to the Dress

Tomorrow, I'm donating my blue satin dress to a plus-size prom goer at my high school Alma Mater.

Farewell dear, blue dress.

I was one of two matrons-of-honor in my cousin's wedding line. I was so honored to be a part of it. She was supposed to be in my wedding line when I got married the first time around but she couldn't make it out to Hawai'i. The second marriage -- the short story is that I was with her when I decided to elope. I cherish that decision to be there in St. Louis, Missouri trying to figure out my life. I was so lost at that time and I walked in a direction and cherish the decision I made. This is what the blue dress reminds me of.
 

So if you take a look at the picture above and the picture below, you will notice that there are two different hairstyles. Anyway,  prior to my arrival in Columbus, Georgia, where my cousin exchanged nuptials with the love of her life, the other matron of honor set up a hair appointment for me. I went to the salon with all kinda product in my hair, thinking I was gonna get a wash, blow-out, and style. That was not the case when I got there. The stylist said that whoever made the appointment only booked a 15 minute appointment. I let her curl my hair even though I thought it looked hideous but I was out of time. My make up was on so I couldn't wash my hair and re-do it the way I would normally fix it. Anyway, I probably had like 4 or 5 different hairstyles over the course of the day. Handsome in his pin-stripe suit, me in my blue gown -- we make quite a pair. This is what the blue dress reminds me of.


Her color is blue. She has always loved that color. I recall one of her prom dresses being a lovely, royal blue. It's only natural that she would select blue as the feature color for her wedding. I have to say that I am glad that I had the chiffon bolero because I had awful tan lines from my halter swim suit. You can kind of see it in the pic above. The wedding was in the middle of summer. Summer in Hawai'i means beach activities everyday, thus the tan lines. The pic below is probably my favorite of alll the millions of pictures we took that day. Husband quickly snapped this shot of us immediately after the cutting of the cake. This is what the blue dress reminds me of.  


The wedding party was made up of some fabulous, very successful women. I am grateful to have been a part of the festivities. My only wish is that we had more time together to bond and do stuff. I can't recall if we even had a bridal shower for the bride. That makes me sad right now, thinking that we skipped over that important part of western wedding ceremony. This is what the blue dress reminds me of.



I bid farewell to this dress and hope that the next girl who wears it will make memories in it that will last her a lifetime.

Farewell dear, blue dress.