I am stressed to THE MAX. I just tweeted that into the universe. I am completely overwhelmed by my life. I want to detach from EVERYTHING that is consuming my time. I can't hear my own inner voice while tending to everyone's needs and it buggs the mess out of me. Normally, my life would revolve around ME and HUSBAND. Now I seemed to have taken over the duties that my mother left... and it's just not me.
I am not my mother!
My last post was about "Farren". My mother would have loved to support her through this ordeal while I'm COMPLETELY and UTTERLY uninterested in taking on more drama for this house to handle. I am through the roof with this whole living situation. I am so not my mother in this respect. The obvious choice is for me to leave and I plan to do just that. I don't know where I'm going but I do want to be far away from here.... far away from this life.... far away from caring for everyone but me.... far away from judgement by my peers... far away from busy-work... far away from the different things that suffocate me.
Sometimes I wish I could disappear into the atmosphere and fade into the waters of the ocean and pretend like my life never happened. Let me return to the source from which I came so that I may be AT ONE again with the Creator.
Sometimes life is just so hard!