Saturday, June 04, 2005

Thomas and I: The Conclusion | Part VI

So here it is, the final episode. Part V outlined the betrayal that occured. My friends' sold me out. Bottom line... they thought I was doing dirt so they sided with Thomas.

Upon completion of the betrayal, I threw in the towel. I could NOT successfully cheat without intervention from my "girls". Every move I made outside of the relationship was being TOLD to Thomas. Whether it was getting my nails done or going to the doctor, Thomas KNEW instantly. So of course, continuing to hide rendezvous man was pointless. I decided to end things with Thomas.

I'd love to tell you that it went down like a fairy tale and we walked away from the relationship better people. Ha! But it didn't quite go down like that. We were sinking faster than the Titanic and going down just as ugly. I was a cheat, turned into a liar and was just not happy with the person I had become. All that ugliness was apparent.

When I broke it off with Thomas things got even more interesting. Remember now, he had left his wife and family to be with me.... thinking we'd live 'happily ever after'. He had no wife, didn't have custody of his children, child support to pay now that they were separated. The army was kicking him out for defrauding the government. (The apartment he and I stayed together was for Thomas and his wife... not me. Fraud!) So now he had no job. He was in Hawai'i with no family. Nothing. He was house-hopping and I didn't wanna have anything to do with him. Terrible, terrible me.

The more I write this, the more terrible I feel for all the rotten things I've done to that man. Ultimately, he is the one that made the decisions that took him down this dark path... but damn, I didn't help one bit. I can see why men think we're evil. For that, I apologize! To every man that has had to deal with a woman like this, I am truly sorry. If it's any consolation -- I realize all the evil things I did to that man and I swear never to do it again.

So anyway I went on my merry way. Rendezvous man became the center of my world and I left Thomas in the dust or so I thought. Thomas started showing up at my job. I was working as a cashier in the grocery store, not even a mile from the University I was going to. He would stand at my register and try to plead his case and WHY he needed me. That was soooo bad for business to have him there. So he'd go sit in his car and just wait 'til I got off work.... hoping I'd speak with him then. **rolling my eyes** He'd sleep in his car outside my house. That first couple of weeks after the break up, he'd send me dozens of long stemmed red roses. He'd show up at my mama's house and go to church with them. This is allll after we broke up.

He called the 'girls' to find out where I'd be so he could be there at the same time. When they didn't know, he'd tell them he was going to kill himself... so they'd spill the beans about where I'd be. He'd call BooBoo at all hours of the morning, wanting to talk and wanting to know HOW to get me back. He had lost his mind. I remember when he got his FINAL decree of divorce, he came running to me to show me and tell me that we could get married. Okay... he SOOOO did not get it that I had broke up with him.

Yes! Thomas turned into a stalker.

One of the girls that sold me out showed him where rendezvous man lived... knowing I'd be there. One evening, some dude shows up at rendezvous mans apartment asking for me. I have NO IDEA who this cat is. We speak and I follow him downstairs where Thomas is waiting. I know he's reached ROCK bottom. Rendezvous man tells me that if I leave with Thomas that I should call my mama and tell her that I'm leaving with this lunatic. Things was REALLY heated. Rendezvous man felt disrespected.Thomas  felt justified. As for me... I was tryna please everybody. I got myself into this. I needed to negotiate my way out of it.

I tell Thomas that we're done. There's nothing to save. Don't bother. Move on! He's not taking that as LAW. He starts yelling obscenities, at the top of his lungs, to rendezvous man. Talkin about...

"you stole my woman..." curse curse curse
"you aint all that..." curse curse curse
"i will kick your ass..." curse curse curse

Rendezvous man comes downstairs. They start BOXING. Is this fa real? Rendezvous man steals a left, right, left. Thomas gets a jab in then rendezvous man swings big. The punch stuns Thomas and he blanks out for a couple seconds... when he comes to, he reaches in his pocket and brandishes a box cutter. The intense fight comes to a climax when Thomas stabs my rendezvous man... who was now my main man. I release a shrill scream, worthy of a horror film, and begin running. I had no idea where I was going. I just knew I didn't want to be near either ex-man OR main-man.

That really was THE END for me.... well, not really. As soon as the stabbing took place, I moved away from Hawaii. When I returned a year later, I ran into Thomas. He had slept with that 'certain girl' I spoke about in Part I. He had slept with this other girl I knew that I had gone to high school with and they were supposedly "together". Yet he still tried to hook up with me. He took me out and we hung out. I even spent the night at his house. LOL... I am sooo terrible. Though I didn't sleep with him... as in, have sex with him... I was teasing him like crazy. We made out like when we first met and that was the extent of that. I was sooo addicted to the power I had over him. **sigh**

So what had I learned? I learned that lying and cheating ruins lives. It took all of that to learn such a valuable lesson. His marriage was shot... and that is irreplaceable. I am such a big advocate for building stronger families. I am that way, aside from my upbringing, BECAUSE of what I've been through; because of what I've caused. How I 'did' HIM weighs heavy on my mind. I'd really like to tell him sorry. I'd really like to apologize. I just wanna tell him that it wasn't him.

Really... I'm sorry Thomas!

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