Finding the Balance

I am 3 weeks shy of completing my Bachelor of Arts degree in Philosophy.

**sigh**

I can't wait. This is the biggest scam in the history of the world (in my humble opinion)! I don't feel any smarter nor do I formulate my self-esteem based on my grades. The grades might be a reflection on my commitment but definitely not on who I am, inherently. If you can go to school for free (via scholarship) then, by all means, do so while you figure out what you really want to do. A person's failure or success is not based upon his or her ability to complete a degree. Far from it!

A well-known Philosopher, Jean-Jacque Rousseau, wrote Emile. It talks about the nature of education and on humanity's quest for true knowledge. The overall gist of Emile is that humanity should return to a more natural approach on education. One should seek out things that they are drawn to by their natural curiosity. I think of the things that I could have done if I had been encouraged to seek out things that truly interest me. I might be a carpenter today or a visual artist, a holistic healer, a journalist (my blog serves this purpose -- if only I were paid for my rants), a furniture maker, a fashion designer; anything but an administrator (I promise I'm grateful for my job!). What can a person really do with memorized interpretations of truth?

What gives people purpose in life? I contemplate that question often. In my own life, I feel so bogged down by religious protocol and by my cultural duties as a daughter and wife. I've mentioned it before on this blog and it seems it hasn't changed. To live authentically means that I must discard all the things that causes conflict in my life; that would include religion and cultural protocol or can I find a comfortable balance between who I feel I am, inherently, with who my family and religious community expects me to be? **heavy sigh**

The funny thing is that I can release all the obligations that I perceive are weighing me down. The only problem is that I am so attached to how I have always done things and how I think people perceive me. It's all so very confusing when I pick it apart. But I strive to move forward and to stay within the current boundaries I have set for myself. It pains me to be so bridled by religious and cultural expectation and to even mention that I have boundaries. Really, I wish I were free from religious dogma and the separations that it forces between human beings. Why can't we all just be brothers and sisters in this beautiful world? Why must there be distinct separations by our political and religious affiliations? I'm beginning to think that the two are the same!

Can anyone help me find the balance between two diametrically opposed worlds?

**photo credit**