Tuesday, November 23, 2010

The Epiphany

Choosing a disciplined life has its perks and the flip side is fraught with temptation and difficult choices. Having lived a portion of my life following the path of hedonism, sometimes I miss the life I left behind... the carefree-ness of everything carnal. Alcohol was a favorite of mine. Slushy, yummy drinks, and an entire segment of nightlife suddenly open to me again -- the thought was/is alluring. I have spent many weekends in the last couple of months wholly preoccupied with the idea of indulging.

Then something happened this weekend; something so simple, so quiet, so peaceful, something I'm not sure I was really looking for. It was a revelation! An epiphany.

Nothing is ever coincidence. I'm absolutely sure of that. Every random act is not random at all but are necessary events to help me reach my potential. So as I sat in the 3PM session of the Laie Hawaii Temple Rededication on Sunday -- a session that I hadn't planned on attending because I had made other plans -- found myself contemplating how husband and I had suddenly obtained tickets.

The Creator knows me. He knows my heart and my desire to be better than I am today. He knows my struggle and my battle with my previous lifestyle. One of the speakers expressed,


That simple phrase caused the wheels in my head to start turning and I found myself understanding my struggle and seeing it for what it really is. It's like a "lightbulb went on". (Thank you Mrs. Leger for using that phrase in the comment section. It's so appropriate!)

The epiphany: I have been alcohol/drug/tobacco-free for five years. I have been blessed for eliminating those particular things that don't serve me. I have conquered it. Why would I turn back?

Immediately, all my desire to return to my former life left me. I'm grateful for an all-knowing CREATOR who is so mindful of all my needs.

1 comment:

Ui said...

in the words of chrisette michele in her song 'epiphany'..."it's over...it's over" lol. yay for epiphanies!