Gotta Be My Own Boss

A couple of weeks ago, I was talkin' about goin' back to work. Well, I did. It was either work or go to school... and consequently, I am awaiting the status of my application for school... so I did go back to work. I went through a temp agency. The woman they placed me with owns her own business. Well, Friday the 14th made just ONE WEEK at that place and I left and I'm not turning back. Here is the copy of the letter I emailed the owner of the business. Names have been changed.... and all that junk... to protect me from ANY liability... LOL. You'll get the background on it by reading the letter. I'll post the woman's response later.

Aloha "Boss",

I've been thinking about writing this letter since Friday. An entire day has passed and the feeling is still here. I feel inclined to express myself to you, as you've already had the opportunity of expressing yourself to me. It is my desire to rectify things and make everything PONO**. To release myself from any negativity that intrinsically connects myself to you.

The meeting we had on Friday morning between you, DeeDee and myself was very enlightening. Friday was my sixth day of work at your establishment. It was not emphasized that I was to serve as your "right-hand-man" or that I was to keep you off the phone. Much of my duties were left to my own interpretation. Though I am very good at anticipating the needs of most people, I found it very hard to read what, exactly, your needs were. I would have really appreciated if you reviewed with me HOW you want things done. I couldn't INHERENTLY know what those things are.

I understand that my inability to be any of your previous assistants is frustrating. You truly UNLOADED all of those frustrations on me. I could not have possibly known how much pressure you're under to perform. My desire to not disturb you was misjudged as an unwillingness to be of help. My "cryptic" phone messages, as you so eloquently called them, were ineffective and NOT helping you. I would not have known that you "pay me more than you would normally pay someone in my position". Perhaps I wasn't living up to the monetary value you agreed to pay me.

Anyway, the end result of all my shortcomings was the "big blow up" which is our meeting on Friday morning. It seemed I was the ONLY candidate to be on the receiving end of all your negative energy. You felt strongly to share with me how much pressure you're under. How would I have known? You shared with me that you're normally a good person. How could I have known? From day one, the nicest thing you said to me was "good morning" AFTER greeting the parrot. You shared with me that you did a whole bunch of things that I should have been doing. Again, how could I have known? NO ONE SAID ANYTHING.

As I sat in that meeting when you were sharing these thoughts and a host of others, the only thing I could think of was how did I make these things happen? Perhaps, my ineffectiveness on Friday morning was the proverbial "straw that broke the camel's back". I am the newest employee, with the least amount of experience and knowledge about your leadership style or about the business, yet I am the one that gets dumped on. True character is revealed in our hardest times.

I maintained my composure the entire day and resolved to be a better assistant to you. But as soon as I rounded the corner of that building, I cried in a way that I couldn't cry in our meeting. As I explained my tears to my husband, who picked me up from work, I realized two things.

One - there is no chemistry between us. You already resent me for failing to read your needs. And two - I don't want to waste anyone's time, yours and least of all mine. Since I am, technically, an employee of the temp agency, I have notified them that I will NOT be returning to your company.

I appreciate the opportunity you've given me and I wish you much success and happiness. The entire purpose of life is to be happy. May you be blessed.

**PONO : Hawaiian for righteousness or the act of returning things to a positive flow.