Friday, April 08, 2005

Fa Real... Goodbye!

I've said it before but I really mean it today. Goodbye!

Fa real this time. No games. No questions. It may not be forever. Who knows what tomorrow will bring? What I KNOW today is that I cannot and refuse to live my life in two worlds.

I say goodbye to a string of heartache and trade it for REAL commitment. I trade "the life" for peace of mind. There is no battle anymore about old loyalties and sacred vows. My eyes, our eyes are ever focused on the same goals and that has made all the difference. So today, I really mean it, Goodbye!

I really do hope you find happiness. I have never wanted anything less for you. I have always told you that I want you to be happy even if it meant that happiness would lead you away from me. And it did. Well, as it turns out, the grass wasn't greener on the other side because you came back to me, hoping I'd take you back as I always have before. But I didn't! After you put me on the selling block, I loosed myself from the shackles that weighed me down.... and didn't turn back. So today... though I've said it before -- I really mean GOODBYE.

Though I credit you for teaching me so much and being there for me through some of my darkest days, the counter balance is that you have hurt me also. I'm not angry about having experienced all the pain and heartache because it has only prepared me to accept and appreciate the goodness I enjoy today.

It wasn't all hurt, you have put smiles on my face many times. Do you remember that Valentines Day... we got ready to go out but ended up slow dancing in our living room all evening long. We had champagne flutes filled with Becks beer. We ended up making love on the living room floor. Every single time we made love was magic even the time when I knew it was OVER. I cried when we were done because I knew in my heart that our chaotic love affair was finished. So, though I knew back then that we were through, though I've said goodbye a thousand times before.... today, I really mean it!



Chele said...

You sure you mean it this time? LMBOOOOOOOOOOOO!

princessdominique said...

Deep post. I'm feeling you on this post for real.

NeenaLove said...

@chele... yeah... ummm... errr... i think i mean it! LOL... yes... i really mean it!

@princessdominique... thanks for stopping by. it's such a release to let it go and say goodbye.

ShellyP said...

Saying goodbye to your second life? Sounds like a good idea. I need to say goodbye before I even start one. You go, girl!

NeenaLove said...

@shellyp... **heavy sigh** being that this is a public forum... i wish i could tell you the whole story. one of these days. **smile**