Saturday, February 17, 2018

Hashtag Perfect Man

I still believe in love. That has been my hashtag as of late. Since the split from my husband back in
September 2016, I had to separate myself from the anguish and pain of lost love and remember that I have value even if he doesn't recognize it right now. And yes, I still believe in love even more now than I did when I was married. I have to.

I believe in the fairy tale. It's not like the Cinderella story where some fabulous Prince comes to sweep me off my feet. Although I would love it if one did, really what I see so clearly in my mind's eye is an around-the-way guy. He would be similar to my father. A jack-of-all-trades.

He's a family man that loves hanging out with my family as much as his own. If he has children, he's a good father that is close to his children and fosters a good relationship with his children's mother(s). It shows maturity when there's healthy co-parenting.

Of course he is tall, dark, and handsome. When I say dark, I really mean DARK.
Like Idris Elba DARK.
Like Djimon Hounsou DARK.
Like Mahershala Ali DARK.

My round-the-way-guy will be handy around the house. I can call my brothers and several cousins to come and fix my garbage disposal but if my man can do it, that would be wonderful. I am pretty sure I could figure it out or find a tutorial on YouTube but can't I just assign that to him?

This guy absolutely CANNOT damper my sense of freedom. I love to travel. I love to hang with my friends on girl trips. I am so trustworthy that me cheating should not even cross his mind when I am on one of my excursions. And if he is suspect it is an indication of where his mind is at and what he is capable of and not a reflection on me. One thing I am, without question, is LOYAL.

He will have charisma. When he walks into a room, he fills it with his presence without saying a single, solitary word.

He will have ambition. His dreams are bigger than life and he is in hot pursuit of them. And if his ambitions are not that big then he will step aside and support all of mine. I have enough big dreams to fill a couple of lifetimes.

He is athletic, loves sports, and is an outdoors man. He is high energy and enjoys physical activity. Although, on occasion, I like to lounge around and watch TV (very rare), most times I rather be out and about doing things outside. I love the ocean. I love the mountains. I really do love long walks and they don't have to be on the beach. I love camping, hiking, and skin diving, snorkeling. I love gardening and growing my own food. I would love it if a man could work the soil right next to me or be in the water with me.

I am a girl that is wild about new experiences. But the perfect man doesn't have to be wild about it with me, he just can't inhibit me or prevent me from exploring. He must trust me enough to NEVER damper my curiosity.

I have a B.A. in Philosophy. I studied the driving factors behind HOW people think. What type of lifestyle does one pursue to live the happiest life? God, sex, religion, politics have all types of "isms" to answer that single, solitary question - How do I live my happiest life? With that being said, I crave a really good conversation - one that pushes the boundaries of my mind. And my mind has a very large surface area of possible topics and ideas. I don't have an ABSOLUTE opinion on everything. Meaning, I am open to suggestions on almost every topic.

I don't need him to be a genius. In fact, there is something to be said about a man who is simple in his day-to-day routine. For a complex thinker like myself, sometimes a laid-back man is exactly what I need. In a conversation I had with my father recently, I was telling him how fast my mind goes thinking about opportunities and wanting to move on them, about wanting a partner that can think as quickly as I do. My father, the humble man that he is, simply said, "Do you ever think about how intimidating you are? I don't know many people that can keep up with your mind." I was so shocked that everything that came out of his mouth after that comment is lost on me. I'm not the most brilliant woman in the world so I certainly did not think that I intimidate people with my mind. I say this only to remind myself that I don't need a complex thinker just someone that is willing to chime in. In fact, the simplicity of a man's mind actually gives me a different spin on my complexity.

Here I am dreaming up the "perfect man," I think I covered the physical clear enough but vague enough to keep me open to possibilities. I think my mental requirements are the same - clear enough but vague enough. Here are my emotional requirements. And it's very simple - I just want a man to take care of my heart. A man that adores me and wants to see me succeed. He pushes me and challenges me but at the end of day will smother me with affection and tenderness and an occasional bouquet of flowers with sweet love notes to remind me of all the reasons he loves me. I feel like I have such a tough exterior and I move through each day pretending to be a boss. I want a man that can reign that in without dominating me but definitely being the head of the household.

Maybe he's out there. I'm sure he is. I will not search high and low for him. I will just sit back and let him find me. #iStillBelieveInLove

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