Today is hard.
Today I am sad.
I was hopeful yesterday but today, today I am hopeless.
I love so deeply and so loyally that when betrayal arrives at my door, I feel broken.
I wish I could crawl back into bed, put a sheet over my head, and make the world go away. I wish I could sleep peacefully without the worries of tomorrow pulsing in my brain. Yet I don't think it is worry that keeps me awake but a loss of the expectation of what I thought my life would be like.
Tomorrow has changed significantly.
Tomorrow is a blur.
I cry when I'm alone.
Wishing things could be different.
I feel numb in the waking hours.
Insistent that this is just a nightmare and that I will wake from its grip.
My heart is breaking and I can do nothing but feel it intensely.
I am falling so helplessly down a chasm of sorrow.
And all I want is to feel joy again.