PREFACE: This is a look into my written diaries from nearly two decades ago. Most of it is straight from my diary. I may have omitted a thing or two, changed a name or two, corrected grammar, added a hyperlink here and there (for context, of course) etc. etc. The general theme of who I was all those years ago are IN TACT.
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June 30, 1994
I am so miserable. It's like Dave is planning my life fore me. And I don't even have a say in it. He wants to marry me but that's not what I want. I ain't ready for all-a-dat. Marriage, children. I don't want it yet. I feel like I am gonna hurt him really bad if I tell him I wanna be free. He claims unconditional love and devotion. But for reals... if he claims all-a-dat then he can wait. I don't think he's the right man for me. And I don't think he could try to be. We have too much differences. Just too much. Things just aren't working if you ask me. I'm soooooo young, I still wanna see other people and live a little and just be free to see the world and experience life. I am just all depressed. I really don't care who reads this. These are my true feelings. I just wish there was some way to tell him.
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