The premier of the new season of Unfaithful: Stories of Betrayal on OWN has me entirely intrigued by the topic of infidelity. Men and women have different reasons for wanting to cheat but at the core of extramarital affairs is that there is a need for a person to be wanted, to be needed, and to be loved.
I have not been a fan of the Unfaithful series because I am a firm believer that there is no real excuse for people to cheat on their spouses. A fully mature and grown up person will, of their own free will and desire, end one relationship before starting another. That just seems the most logical way, the most humane way to deal with other human beings. It's hurtful up front but not deceitful! The deceit is what really hurts, in my opinion.
**getting off my soapbox**
What I think about the whole cheating issue is idealistic, of course. In the heat of passion, physical attraction, and romance it is difficult to shun the nagging feelings. I totally get it! When I was separated from my first husband, there were definitely times that even a little bit of attention from the opposite sex thrilled me. I am still amazed at how faithful I was to that man through all the turmoil. Thinking about it breaks my heart all over again. I just remember the pain, the rejection. I felt like such a fool. I can say with a clear conscience that I was so very faithful to that man. Such a fool for love.
Everyone has a deep need to feel loved and to be swept off their feet into a frenzy of romantic seduction. This is possibly what leads people to find pleasure and romance outside of a committed relationship. I remember in high school, just hearing Keith Sweat's I'll Give All My Love To You made me swoon and imagine love scenes being played out. Mind you, I did not experience a "real kiss" until I was 17 so my fantasies were relatively light-weight... candle light, music, slow dancing, and kissing and hugging... that was the extent of my romantic interlude fantasies.
So advice to people in committed relationships right now: Do something wild and crazy and out of character for your mate. Put something on them that is so severe that they will fantasize about it for the next month.
I have not been a fan of the Unfaithful series because I am a firm believer that there is no real excuse for people to cheat on their spouses. A fully mature and grown up person will, of their own free will and desire, end one relationship before starting another. That just seems the most logical way, the most humane way to deal with other human beings. It's hurtful up front but not deceitful! The deceit is what really hurts, in my opinion.
**getting off my soapbox**
What I think about the whole cheating issue is idealistic, of course. In the heat of passion, physical attraction, and romance it is difficult to shun the nagging feelings. I totally get it! When I was separated from my first husband, there were definitely times that even a little bit of attention from the opposite sex thrilled me. I am still amazed at how faithful I was to that man through all the turmoil. Thinking about it breaks my heart all over again. I just remember the pain, the rejection. I felt like such a fool. I can say with a clear conscience that I was so very faithful to that man. Such a fool for love.
Everyone has a deep need to feel loved and to be swept off their feet into a frenzy of romantic seduction. This is possibly what leads people to find pleasure and romance outside of a committed relationship. I remember in high school, just hearing Keith Sweat's I'll Give All My Love To You made me swoon and imagine love scenes being played out. Mind you, I did not experience a "real kiss" until I was 17 so my fantasies were relatively light-weight... candle light, music, slow dancing, and kissing and hugging... that was the extent of my romantic interlude fantasies.
So advice to people in committed relationships right now: Do something wild and crazy and out of character for your mate. Put something on them that is so severe that they will fantasize about it for the next month.
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