Sunday, July 20, 2008

Naptime Dreams

It was a pleasant afternoon. I was spiritually fed from a great service at church, I had just eaten a nice brunch of french toast and a mushroom omelette. I was content to spend the rest of the afternoon finishing off the novel, The Known World by Edward P. Jones. I cozied into a nice position on my bed, opened my book and drifted off to sleep. I didn't even get a paragraph in before the lull of the dream world beckoned me.

I find that my dreams give me great insight into the state of my mind. It is my spirit revealing to my conscious mind some of the stumbling blocks that may come if I don't fix whats not working in my conscious world.

When I was going through a separation from my first husband. The same recurring dream would haunt me for many months. I would dream that I was in my home. My home would be on fire and everyone around me would be running to escape the flames. They scream at the top of their lungs for me to get out of the fire yet I steadily walk through my home and the flames don't affect me. And I am clueless as to why they're acting so frantically. I remember vividly everyone's concern for me in the dream. The dream rocked me to my core and I would wake from it with my heart racing, wet sheets from sweat, and reduced to heart breaking tears.

There are no coincidences! Afer experiencing the dream for so many weeks, I was desperate for answers. As I drove to work one morning, on the radio was the "Dream Guy". He interpreted dreams. I called in and was patched right through to him. Everyone knows how hard it is to get through to a radio station. This, however, was a breeze. I recounted the dream to him and my dumbfounded stupor over its significance and meaning. He revealed to me, in detail, the state of my emotional well-being without knowing a thing about me or my separation from my husband.

The house is symbolic of self. My emotions, my soul, ME. The fire was indicative of doom, of failure, of danger. Thus, the burning house was me headed for a melt down. The people running from the building was my family who were very frightened by the fire, as most people are who find themselves in a burning building. Their screaming and yelling from outside the burning building was their concern for me. My apathy to the fiery home was my naivete, my total disregard for my own emotional well-being at the expense of me.

The "dream guy" said, "You are so used to being emotionally hurt that you are totally oblivious to what's really happening to you."

I was totally rocked by that comment. As he continued to reveal to me the pitfalls of my current emotional state, I was reduced to tears as I had begun to see myself as very weak and vulnerable. I had dedicated so much of who I was to the failing relationship that was my first marriage at the expense of me. I put him and only him above my own needs. I knew it needed to stop and yet I allowed another two years to pass between my ex and I before I emotionally let go of the relationship. I let him back into my world only for him to trample all over my heart again.

My dreams are a great compass for me to direct my conscious self. Sometimes I feel an emotion in my dream and I recognize it in the conscious world and I act accordingly, as I had done in the dream. It works! I am often beckoned into the world of dreams as I was today. And usually, therein is a message.

Adieu!

2 comments:

Darius T. Williams said...

Wowzers - so I guess I should pay closer attention to my dreams when they happen. Dreaming is good. Um, mushroom omelettes...not so much so.

Shana said...

I am so disconnected from my dreams. I rarely remember any of them but I know that my dreams speak to me. I am so distant from my spirit right now, I can't grasp anything.

Thanks for the read.