Thursday, June 22, 2006

Staring Back at Me



A woman deserves to feel pretty.

I haven't felt pretty lately... not for lack of attention from husband.... but more from lack of attention from myself. I feel so caught up in all my endeavors to affect positive change that, as I looked in the mirror the other day, I realized that I didn't know the reflection staring back at me. **sigh** (Nearly a year ago I kicked the nicotine for good.... and along with that came added weight.)

In so many ways I've let myself go FURTHER than I would have liked. I struggle to follow the true intents and desires of my heart. I find myself in the middle of things and WONDER if I'm really making a difference. I often reflect on the story about the little boy who, after a storm, walks along the shore and begins to throw the starfish back into the ocean. An older man observes the scene and prods the little boy to give up on his ambition of saving the starfish. The older man rationalizes with the little boy, "You couldn't possibly save all these starfish." To which the little boy replies, "I may not save them all but I will save this one." And continues to throw starfish in the ocean, one by one.

I wonder if the woman I am becoming is what the universe wants for me. It seems that many doors continue to open ahead of me as though all the forces of heaven above support the work I intend to do. Very few people EVER do what they were born to do and I am grateful that I have FINALLY garnered the respect and support of my family. I can move forward on the path I selected for myself a very long time ago.

Far too often, we waste the unique gifts the Creator has endowed each of us with. We get stuck thinking that there is only ONE way to do something. With that mindset, we cut off the INFINITE possibilities out there and figure that our unique talents are just hobbies. Accepting infinity allows one to fully explore every avenue without bias. The natural result -- a truly informed decision! Imagine that? **giggling**

So as I stare at my reflection, as of late, I may feel UNPRETTY... but I'm putting her back together. I'm learning how to balance the many dimensions of me.

1 comment:

Chosen said...

I understand this quest myself. When I quit smoking years ago the same thing happened to me. I often lose all the weight only to find myself battling it again.

I realize that in the midst of all the work I am doing I have to stop and pay attention to the care I give to myself. I tend to figure as long as everything else is done, I will be fine. I am learning. Daily--it's a process.