Wednesday, January 09, 2019

3 Things: How Can I Get Her To Be Interested In More?

A gentleman asks, "How can I get this lady interested in more between us?"

He relates that the two of them have been flirting for months and he wants to move it past the flirting stage.

These conversations are always such an eye opener for me. I don't have the answers. If I did, I would not be a single woman at 43. I'm not one of those girls that flirts. The way my mother raised me, a woman should NEVER use her femininity to manipulate someone. As such, I have always been uncomfortable doing the typical flirt thing that I see so many women do. I think of myself as a sweetheart, agreeable, accommodating. It is genuinely me even though someone that is so close to me said that it comes off as FAKE. I understand that she looks at the world in such a different way than I do and she is entitled to her opinion of me but I am NOT fake.

In any case, I have but three points to make when it comes to taking a friendship to something more, possibly something romantic.

There will always be a window of opportunity for you to make a move. I cannot say that there are specific examples because every single situation is different. Even if you think you've been "friend zoned" an opportunity will arise and you have to be ready to take it. You have to be ready to move on it. This search for love and companionship can be rough but it doesn't have to be. In fact the ones that move smoothly like a river flowing to the sea are the ones that I have enjoyed the most.

This is, by far, the most important part of making a woman take notice of you. Make the effort to call her in the morning and throughout the day. Make the effort to show that you are into her. I love surprises! I had a boyfriend who used to surprise me all the time with flowers or he would show up at my job with a treat. Sometimes he'd show up at the house, unannounced, and he'd whisk me away for a meal somewhere. On my days off, he'd pick me up and take me to watch the sunset. He lived an hour and fifteen minutes away from me so doing all these things was no small feat. I ended up breaking his heart. I never did apologize to him but I suppose it would be pointless at this stage of life because this was over twenty years ago. Anyway, every woman appreciates effort and consistency!!

Although it is very flattering to be physically desired, I would prefer to be "seen." To be really seen for who I am, for my heart, my soul, my intelligence. It is one of the most annoying things when a man approaches me leading with sex. After a night of clubbing, a friend of mine and I were at a diner. It had to be 4 in the morning. We get up to leave and pay our bill. There are a few people ahead of us and a few behind us. I was wearing a mini-dress with my legs all the way out there. This guy looked about the same age as me mid-40's, maybe early 50's. He kept staring at me. Smiling. Winking. It was kind of annoying even though he was very attractive. I'm continuing to talk to my friend and we're laughing. When we get to the cashier, we pay, and we're about to walk out. The guy that was smiling at me stops me before I walk out the door. He grabs my arm and whispers, "All I been imagining since I saw you walk in is your legs wrapped around my face." I was so irritated. I looked him dead in his eyes and said, "Other girls might think that's cute. Not me though. You coming at me all sideways." Then I walked away. Anyway, a real woman wants to be admired for her heart and soul, her intelligence, not her physical features. Again, it's flattering to be desired that way and it's important to express that she is beautiful but DO NOT express it in a sexual way. You're welcome!