Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Preface 2014, Part III

The rest of the questionnaire I ripped from oprah.com:

1. That One Quote

Pinterest has tons of quotes that I love to repin. What I do with some of my favorites is download them, print then glue them into my diary.  So here is the quote I am loving right now. I actually found this one on FaceBook, along with the picture of that beautiful owl. It reads:

"A bird sitting on a tree is never afraid of the branch breaking because her trust is not on the branch but on its own wings."
I know I'm not a bird but this quote is a reminder to always believe in myself. Probably one of the hardest habits I have to overcome is doubting my inner voice. I could probably list a dozen reasons why my inner voice has been stifled but that would be a different post. What I know right now is that I must trust my intuition and follow it even if its scary as hell, even if it requires a large amount of courage, even if it pushes me to do things I have never done before.... today, I choose to BELIEVE IN ME and I hope this guides me through 2014 and the rest of my life. I can definitely do hard things. Burying my mother and the events that ensued the month preceding her burial was a lot to bear but it probably pales in comparison to what my father carries with him since her departure.

2. The Best Surprise I've Ever Had

13-year old ME
When I was 13, my mother threw me a surprise birthday party. I can't say that the party was memorable. I can't even remember what we did and whether we played games or not. I just remember waking up that day and our house was abuzz with people and the smell of my favorite foods cooking. The day was the Saturday after my birthday so I didn't suspect anything because my birthday was two days prior. My mother always made a big deal about our birthdays. I miss her so much as I recollect all the things that I took for granted about her.

Normally, my mother worked us hard. If she was providing some type of service for someone like cooking (she was famous for that), this would mean that all of us had to get up and help. I love that she taught us that. I cherish that service quality that she instilled in us. Anyway, I keep getting sidetracked by my memories of my mother. That particular morning, she didn't bug me. She didn't wake me up at the butt crack of dawn. I actually got to sleep in. That is so rare in my mother's house. It didn't matter that you stayed up late the night before, you were getting up on Saturday to do chores.

Me and my mom... probably age 10?
When I made it out of my bedroom that morning, so much of my extended family was already there busying themselves about the house in preparation for this party that I was just finding out about. I asked my mother why we were having a party. She told me it was my cousin's birthday. I thought that was odd since it was so close to mine and I was just now finding out about it. She hurried me into the shower and picked out an outfit for me. She loved picking my clothes and I hated how she would dress me or do my hair. When I was done getting ready she handed me some green crepe paper (my favorite color) to stream around the garage. I was thinking, "Wow. My cousin and I have so many things in common." As I'm hanging the streamers, some of my friends start showing up. So odd that they would come to my cousin's party. At this point, I am still clueless.

Finally, the last of my friend's arrive and they're helping me put up streamers and blow balloons. Then my mom directs the crowd and they all scream SURPRISE. I was so stunned and very embarrassed; so embarrassed that I started crying. It was the best surprise because I was clueless up until they screamed SURPRISE. That is the only thing I remember about that party. Thanks to my mom for all the wonderful birthday parties over the years!

3. My True Happiness

The approach to answering this is Daydream-Like. What makes me keep moving through the day and keep my sanity?

There are two distinct dreams that keep me inspired.

First: The fantasy of being a successful, full-time novelist and author - I have started so many novels and have not finished any of them. I want to write the story I wish I had to read when I was a teenager. In the past couple of decades, more Pacific Island authors have emerged. The commercial success of the movie Whale Rider has placed our people in high regard as gifted story tellers. The success of Lani Wendt Young and her Telesa Series has ignited young and old alike with pride in our island heritage. I want to add my name to the roll of successful Pacific writers. I have stories to tell.

Second: The fantasy of being a very successful business owner. I haven't quite figured out what, exactly, will be my business. I am thinking along the lines of a farm. I have been conflicted with the farm idea and an organic kitchen. What makes more sense is to do both on the same property. The kitchen serves whatever is harvested from the farm. I really want an aquaponic garden. Yes -- I'm reminded of my desire to FARM. The following pictures were taken at Mari's Nursery in Mililani.

How it works
Foam style
Rows and rows of pesticide-free lettuce in the growing phase
Below ground fish containers
Lettuce ready to be harvested

4. My Favorite Failure

Easy -- first marriage. The failure was necessary to push me forward. Truth be told, the ex-husband and I would still be good friends if there were a reason. We don't have any children together so it doesn't make a whole lot of sense to keep in touch but we do. At least once a year we email just to say hi. (Yes... I have told my husband about it just so there are never any secrets between he and I.)

5. An Amendment to the Bucket List

Skydiving for my 40th birthday was on the Bucket List but I change my mind. It's an unnecessary risk for a thrill that I could get by parasaililng (which I've already done) or riding really fast on a boat or peacefully floating in the most beautiful body of water on the planet - the great Pacific. Let's hope Fukushima doesn't do too much damage to the water that I love.

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