Sunday, October 13, 2013

Vacation Ending, Numbness, and Inner Circles

I'm sad to say that my vacation has come to an end.

Husband and I have made it back to the island. I'm so glad to be back in my own space. We arrived from Atlanta on Friday afternoon and decided to cab it home. I was so happy when a limousine picked us up. It was a great, luxurious ride home. I love how husband and I work together. Even though the cab ride was expensive, I couldn't see calling someone from the North Shore to take husband and I to Mililani then they have to drive all the way home to the North Shore. On top of that, husband and I like the independence of not needing to call anyone. Sometimes it's just easier that way. Sterile. No strings attached.

I don't know when I got so sterile and so detached from the world. Well, not really detached from the world; more like cautious about who I let in my circle. I don't like to owe anyone any favors. It's so not who I used to be as a teenager. In fact, I used to bend over backwards for friends. I had a serious need to please. Now, I'm not so emotional. I have way outgrown the desire to be needed or wanted by everybody. The emotion of my youth have given way to logic and reasoning. Sometimes I think I am numb and yet I tear up when I watch Undercover Boss.

I love my inner circle. It is very small but it works for me. I seem to work best with my inner circle.... in my personal life and in my work. I trust very few people at work. The functions of my job are easy enough, challenging enough. No amount of work scares me at all, physical or mental. The biggest challenge are the personalities on the job. For the most part, I love the people I work with but some are really difficult to work with. Their emotion over really silly things are beyond me.

**sigh**

Well --  here's to a new work week for me.

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