Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Anomaly in the Matrix

I've been feeling so bogged down by my inability to CREATE or to use my innovativeness to really make changes in my work place. I've been feeling so stifled at work and am halted at complete boredom. I've been contemplating making a change. Two months ago, I started school but had to quickly withdraw because something came up. Now I'm back at square one, in a funk, not being able to express my creativity fully. That is no ones fault but my own. With that being said, what is it that I would rather be doing?

Sustenance must come from somewhere. However, if I follow my heart and do what I'd really like to do, I'd probably be studying art or music somewhere or writing my first novel or childrens book. I love photography and looking at beautiful things. I've never really thought of myself as an artist although I'm quite artsy... I sketch well, write poetry secretly, would love to study ceramics. There are so many things I would rather be doing than being in the office, working for someone. Really, I should follow my passion and do EVERYTHING that I love.

When people do what they LOVE doing, they build a wonderful life for themselves. I think about farming and gardening, both of which I thoroughly enjoy doing. I'd rather be producing food than being in the office. Although, I do feel a small sense of fulfillment at the J-O-B, it would not and could not compare to doing things that I absolutely LOVE. So more changes are coming for me. Isn't that what life is about?

Funny side note which pulls all my previous thoughts together, hopefully. Last night husband and I went on a double-date with my cousin and her fiance. We went and watched the new Tyler Perry movie (it was a total soap opera). Going out on a week night to the movies is really out of the ordinary for husband and I. As we were driving home I told him, "Wow. Movies on a weeknight. We have caused quite an anomaly in the Matrix."

So... hopefully, I can create more anomaly's in the Matrix in the future. I never want my daily actions to be routine or predictable.


Darius T. Williams said...

sounds good (I have yet to see that movie) but if these types of spontaneous activities helps you get outta that funk...then go for it!

Ui said...

TOTALLY!!!!! spontanaity (sp?) is the best!!! i've declared tuesdays and thursdays my beach days, since i don't have school OR work. doing things during the weeks is so much better. there's no crowd, no traffic, and no waiting! only minor setback: u have a hard time finding people to do things with you.