Tuesday, August 19, 2008
A Letter to You
I had a very short conversation with a fellow blogger yesterday. I won't even call it a conversation, it was that short. He said to me, "You're so transparent." Off the bat I took it as a compliment to my ability to be ME and also to my inability to tell "tall tales". Thanks, Darius T Williams.
It wasn't always the case that I was "transparent". I've told many tall tales in my day. It seems the older I get, the more comfortable I am with who I am and I don't need to tell the tall tales. I love my body, though the majority of women have issues. Am not ashamed to be naked anywhere, though I've never had to prove it. I love who I am as a person, though that could probably use a whole lot of tweaking and working on. I'm just really comfortable in my own skin and I wouldn't trade it for the world.
The idea of transparency is that I have nothing to hide. I have no hidden agenda, no ace of spades hiding in my coat sleeve. I am what I say I am. I have many events from my past that continue to haunt me. From me being at the center of a brawl, where one boyfriend stabbed my other boyfriend, to me being a rape survivor. I am transparent! There is no shame in the lessons I've learned along the way and I hope that someone can learn from them.
This blog has been more about me purging the bad, negative stuff that has ocurred in my life rather than a bid on gaining a readership. I enjoy blogging and sharing my stories, "As I Remember It..." I've come to learn how to strip away the emotion in my decision-making through this blog. It appears that I make better decisions when it's well thought out.
So, to you who is reading this, I thank you for being here to witness my many changes. Thank you for sharing in my triumphs, my manic depressant rants, and for giving me hope that today will be better than yesterday. That the sun will rise and set as it has for the last millenia. That the earth was created for us to meet and greet and learn to love each other and ultimately to demonstrate obedience to God.
I thank you for not judging my colorful past, which consequently is quite entertaining in comparison to my present! Yet it is in the present that I have found the true goddess within and the best thing is that you can find him or her in you as well. We were created in his image, born to inherit all that He has. Think on it!