Saturday, January 14, 2006

So You Fell Down

my first marriage was a series of heartbreaks. i had the opportunity to walk away but i didn't. i stayed and continued to be hurt OVER and OVER again.

i didn't walk because i wanted him to know FOREVER... that i never gave up on us. seems stupid now, to look back at how i used to think. so here are a few of my thoughts on what i've learned.

EVERY experience we have should teach us something... the ONLY lesson that seems to stick with people is the one thing that should be forgotten.

NEVER base your future on past results. getting hurt in a relationship DOES NOT mean that the rest of your relationships are doomed to fail. this is the thing that should be forgotten. past hurt only INSTILLS fear to try again. a hopeless existence has only one source and it is not the Creator.

however, NEVER do the same thing twice because you WILL get the same result. the lessons we should be picking up from our experiences in failed relationships is HOW it went bad and WHY it went bad.

we think that risking our heart was where we messed up. step back. take a look. is that really where you messed up? (if you think that, then you are stuck in your own little pity party.) OR was it because you allowed the other party to take advantage of you too many times UNTIL you lost your identity? ahhh... now you're thinking.

so you fell down. get up. dust yourself off and try again.


ShellyP said...

Good advice.

The Brown Blogger said...

I hear you.

I'm picking myself up.

Anonymous said...

Oh my goodness...this post was as if I wrote it. Right now I am glowing in the many possibilites of my relationship. A love I shunned from the beginning because of the experience from my first marriage. When I said forever...I meant it. I was in denial that I was miserable. I tried everything to make it work, just to get let down. It wasn't until the tape and the glue for my heart wasn't working anymore, and I had no choice but to renege on forever. It's amazing what waiting for me around the corner...I just had to turn it. Thanks for the post.

Cheryl said...

Oh my stars. S'all I can say.

This rings true for me on so many levels, it's almost painful to talk about. This is a post for the ages Neena...

thank you.

The Brown Blogger said...

I had to come back...

Read it and overstand it again.

Know and admit that this is just a stop in my travels. I must put it in perspective.

Thank you for this post.
Thank you for this post.
Thank you for this post.

I and my future relationships are not doomed to fail.

I know this now.

Ms. Write said...

Considering the sad post I just left on my page... well, let's just say I should have read your first! :-) Thanks for the wisdom.

Peace and blessings!

Ladynay said...

My goodness, between you an Hassan yall got me emotional today!

I been a reader of you site for a minute now. I never really contribute but I always enjoy what you have to say.

That's what keeps me coming back....

Thanks. said...

sup though. how u living?

Anonymous said...

Hello! I kinda happened on your page (I can't even remember how now) but I just had to comment on this post! This is exactly how I felt sometimes about my first marriage. Haven't found mr right yet but I am truly dealing with the fear and the other issues you talked about.

Enjoy your blog, I'll be back!