Tuesday, March 08, 2005

Inadequate?

Sometimes, being who I am is not enough or maybe it's too much. I want to escape and run away from the things that hurt me but how tough am I if I do that? I want to continue to be strong and assertive instead of reverting back to meek and mild. Meek and mild got me hurt the first time and I don't intend to ever be that woman again.

If I question my adequacy to be my mate's life partner, is it possible that I'm more insecure than I let on? Why is it that when hubby and I have a spat I place blame on my personality? Then I submit to him. Does that imply that I rather have peace than be right... or am I secretly saying that my opinion isn't important enough?

I want to love him the way he would like me to love him but do I have to sacrifice who I am to be HER? What must I compromise and what is at the core of my personality quirks to cause aversion?

I have no solution.... just a sinking feeling in my stomach cause I'm so quick to take responsibility for all our arguments.

2 comments:

NeenaLove said...

thank you for your kind words! you're my first and only COMMENT. i'm tickled!!!

Ms. Audacity said...

There are comprimises that we make in all areas of our lives. Some for the good and every now and then it is to our detriment.

We have to find balance... Comprimise without losing our true selves. Good Luck Sis.

It's an eternal struggle of mine.