Monday, August 11, 2008

Calgon, Take Me Away

I have been on drone status lately, sleep walking through life. I don't quite know when it happened. I don't remember the exact moment I stopped really living but I've been feeling like a mummy lately. My life has fallen into such a funk, reminiscent of Bill Murray's character on Groundhog's Day. When will I get my day "right" so that I can stop reliving the same montonous routine? I feel like I need to be awakened or jolted into a different reality; one that has me sucking the very marrow out of life.

Today, I skipped church. I've been feeling so ill lately. Ever since I returned from my family reunion, I have been so sick and utterly exhausted. At church, I serve as the organist. I teach the 12 and 13 year old young women and I'm also on the committee that plans the church activities. Am I exhausted? Absolutely! I feel tired beyond measure and very discouraged at not being able to do things I really LOVE doing. I feel heavily burdened by my responsibilities at church. At times I feel bogged down by my duties as a Polynesian woman to my extended family. And always in the background is my faithful husband. Loyal and ever patiently supporting me.

Doing things that I really LOVE doing...

  • Walking in the mountains to unwind and feel the power in nature

  • Timing out to write a book

  • Sleeping in on Sundays rather than scrambling to put the finishing touches on a Sunday lesson

  • Laying in bed an extra hour to read a few chapters in a book

  • Playing with iMovie on my iMac so I can get better at it

  • Taking the Special Projects sewing class

  • Hitting the beach to soak up some sun and to be cleansed by the ocean

  • Taking my nieces and nephew on excursions

  • There's just so much more that I could be doing than reliving the same monotonous routine. Calgon, take me away!

    How do you unclutter your life and get rid of unnecessary burdens?


    Ui said...

    wow are definitely a busy woman!!! i have been totally slacking on my church callings. you just reminded me that i totally need to get on that! hope you find some time to breathe soon.

    Darius T. Williams said...

    LOL - dont' tell anyone, but um, I skipped church too.

    Anonymous said...

    Sounds like a quote I recently ran across by a man named Mike Dooley: "Sometimes life is like reading a book. Days, weeks, even years just repeat themselves...until you turn the page."

    You got to find a way to turn the page, Neena, just like me. You carry a heavy load with all of your resposibilities and your self journey. Sometimes you have to learn to let go in order to clear the clutter out of your life. Easier said than done I know but you have to. Many things I have no problem letting go of and some (such as this man) I do.

    You have to decide what is the most important to you at that very moment and let as much as possible go in all other areas.

    As they keep trying to tell me ... I will never be as useful to others as I think I am if I don't see to it that I have put myself first. Fatigued, stressed, and unfocused is no benefit to anyone.

    Luv ya*