Friday, December 17, 2010

Day 19: Something I Regret

I think most people have a laundry list of regrets. As I age (mature) I seem to let go of regret and embrace the idea that the path I have chosen is exactly the path I should be on. There is, essentially, no room for regret. There's no room for shoulda-woulda-coulda. But if I had to... if I JUST HAD TO list my regrets...
  • I wish I went on an LDS Mission. Hindsight though, that would have significantly changed the direction of my life. Who knows where I'd be right now?
  • The first marriage was such a waste of "the prime" of my life. I'm not saying that it's been all downhill since my 20's but, boy the things I could have done with my life within the 6 year span of my first marriage. Most of it was spent apart from then hubby. What a waste!! Actually, I learned a whole lot from the experience and I think it has made me a better spouse, a better ME for ME.
  • I wish I had gotten over my feelings of insecurity during high school. I look back and wonder why I had such a difficult time dealing with my teenage self-image. I'm supposing that many people experienced the same kind of awkwardness but still... why? I am very glad that I came out of it relatively unscathed. The teenage years can be brutal sometimes.
  • I wish I spent more time with my grandmothers while they were here on the earth. So much knowledge left the earth when they passed. There are so many questions I wish I had asked. If I could do it all over again, I definitely pay more attention!
  • I don't know if this is a regret but... If I could, I would relive/ re-do my senior prom. There was a world of drama surrounding the senior prom and it had mostly to do with the person that was in charge of transportation. She basically fell through. I was crushed. We're supposed to be at the Laie Temple for the picture-taking tradition @ 4pm. There we are in Waikiki at 2pm, still without a car (girlfriend said her aunt was going to rent the car for us). **heavy sigh**

    I was ready to cry. Girlfriend was sooooo upset with her aunt because she left us without any options. I phoned my mother from the hotel, telling her that we had no ride to the prom. She told me not to worry. Telling a teenager not to worry is uhhh... POINTLESS!

    As we're sitting in traffic, heading home to get ready for the prom that we had no ride for, I look up and see my dad driving his tour bus on Kapahulu Ave. I'm tearing up just remembering my feelings when I seen him. I said, "Dad, we have no car for the prom." He shrugs his shoulders and tells me, very calmly, to get home quickly and get ready. Like the SUPERHERO that my father is, just as I'm done getting ready, he pulls up in a Blue Lincoln Continental rental car. Needless to say, by the time my friends and I got to the Temple, it was dark and everyone was gone. So yeah, senior prom could have been a whole lot better.
  • MY BIGGEST REGRET: I was very cruel to a girl named Jennifer Mackey when we were in the 3rd Grade. If I could, I would apologize to her and plead for forgiveness. I've looked her up on FaceBook and google'd her a couple of times but have yielded no results. I am truly sorry Jennifer for all the mean things I have done to you. 
That last regret... still messes with me. I could never dream of being that mean to anyone. I can't even disclose the cruelty. The people who were there to witness it -- they know. In fact, when I get together with those girls from elementary they all remember her. I still remember what she looks like or at least what she looked like then. Karma has a funny way of creeping into the present day. "Sins" of the past always seem to find the offender.

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