Monday, September 08, 2008

No Plan B

He cried in her lap and she felt an unbelievable desire to hold him closer, to stroke his head, to kiss his sorrows away. She wanted to know him, to know the things that hurt him so deeply and yet there was a great barrier between them; even after six years of marriage.

What demon haunted him today that drove his tearful eyes into her lap, I wondered. It seemed that all of their marriage was spent battling his demons and she patiently waited in the wings for her chance to be the center of his attention. Her eyes were full of compassion, full of love for this man that would never love her back in the same manner. Her heart belonged to him but his would never belong to her no matter what she did.

I look at her and know that she loved him with complete abandon with the hope that one day he'd love her back. I cry when I think about the love she freely gave him. If I could just have an ounce of that 'first love, ride or die love'.

As the tears rolled down his cheeks, the only words he could say to her were, "I'm not happy."

Without malice, without taking offense, she asked, "What am I doing wrong?"

He stammers, "It's not you. It's me. I'm just not happy and I can't keep taking you along for the ride."

My heart sinks into my stomach when I think of her experiencing her first real heart break. I know that all she wanted was to hold him close, to continue to love him even if he didn't want her anymore, to try and love him into happiness. But she knew that the glazed over look in his eyes meant that his mind was somewhere else.

He continued, "I have to do this. I have to leave."

She replied, "Where does that leave me?"

He was breaking her heart. She had no defense. She had nowhere to turn, no plan B. The love she gave was supposed to last and he was supposed to stay FOREVER.

1 comment:

Travis Musicbox said...

I loved your story. You are a great writer. My take is that It seem the narrator and the protagonist are the same person. The narrator seems to the result.
I will continue reading. Please take a look at my blog especially
http://travismusicbox.blogspot.com/2008/08/girl-in-bathroom.html