Wednesday, March 23, 2005

The Man with the Red Turtleneck Sweater : A Memory

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This is a story that began at Gussie L'Amours. Today is Wednesday, what would usually be Ladies Night if that club were still open.
We met at the club.

I seen him watching me dance all evening long with his date steady trying to get his attention. But his attention was all mine. I'll admit that his stares intrigued me. Every smile that crept across my face, he noticed. Every sway of my hip, he noticed. And I ate it up. Call me narcissistic or whatever you want..... but I KNEW he was watching and every move I made after that was just for him. I didn't know what he looked like in that dark, smoky club but his eyes were zeroed in on me. All I saw when I looked his way is his red turtleneck sweater.

The evening wore on and I stayed on the dance floor all evening long. It was funny cuz when I was getting ready for the club, I DID NOT feel cute at all. I was feeling dumpy but the men were on me that night. I can't explain it. The drinks kept coming from every direction.

BooBoo and I went out to get a breath of fresh air and to flirt with the men outside. On my way out, in the little "coat room", the man with the red turtleneck sweater corners me. Ahhh... my staring admirer followed me. Where was his date? I wasn't really concerned.

This 6'5" man had me cornered. His arms on either side of my head against the wall. I'm staring up at him thinking that he was kinda scary looking. But he had swag.... extreme confidence. It was his demeanor. His "i'm-not-letting-you-get-away" attitude that had me mesmerized. I had his COMPLETE attention all evening long and he was finally approaching me. I knew he would as soon as he got rid of his date. LOL...

He explains to me, in a very matter-of-fact tone, that he's been watching me all evening long. I already knew that. I batted my eyelashes and flashed my pearly whites, acting flattered. I let him chase me with conversation. He would pursue and I'd run. And then I'd run again. He was very persistent and insisted that it was in my best interest to go out with him. Hmmmm... I thought: so you can just dismiss me when another cute tail comes wagging??? Isn't that what he just did with his date? Dogged her to come running after me? LOL... So he chased and I ran. We had a 15 minute cat-and-mouse game in that coat room. That is eons in single-people talk.

At the end of the 15 minutes, I submitted. Yes... I gave up the digits. I thought he'd whip out his cell phone and have me program my number in it but the man pulled out a lil black book. LOL. That was cute. BooBoo and I got home at about 530am. My cell phone starts ringing at 7am. I ignore it because I'm too lazy to get up and turn it off. 715, another call. 730. 800. 830. 845... finally, I answer the damn phone when it rings at 9am. It's the man with the red turtleneck sweater.

The conversation led to sex.... and we sealed it with well... you know... (I'm a sinner!) **winks** He calls me all day long excited about the possibilities. In one of our conversations we get around to the extent of our budding relationship. He tells me he doesn't want a girlfriend. I'm ecstatic about it. I didn't want a man. Shhh... don't tell anybody but I already had someone in mind and it wasn't the man with the red turtleneck sweater. He gets around to saying that his attraction to me is COMPLETELY physical and that he just wants to sleep with me. Hmmm... a booty call. I'm okay with that. I laugh at him when he suggests it and I reply, "Sounds good to me. Just one thing," I said, "...don't fall in love." He laughed and said he wouldn't.

Our first time seeing each other after the night we met, he acted like it was a date. I was diggin' it. He was feeling me out, seeing if he could actually enjoy my company beyond the physical. I blew him away with my "homie-lover-friend" act. We played playstation2 and drank all evening long. As the evening wound down... we consummated. Many evenings of fun followed. He was a cool cat with desires that went beyond my bag of tricks. We probably could never have been boyfriend-girlfriend or anything that went beyond that. We did have so much fun together.

We had many conversations. Not just surface stuff but REAL stuff that he dealt with in his soul. His fear of death. His fear of being alone for the rest of his life. Race relations. Love. Spirituality. He began requesting more time from me. He wanted me to fall asleep in his arms instead of leaving in the middle of the night. He wanted to kiss me and hold my hand. He wanted to love me. And I knew I couldn't reciprocate.

And well... as the story goes... through no fault of his own... he fell in love. The man in the red turtleneck sweater wanted to love me even going so far as proposing marriage.

Our final goodbye was bittersweet. I even cried cuz I knew I ABSOLUTELY could not be what he wanted me to be. **sigh** Two months later, the man with the red turtleneck sweater left for Afghanistan.


MaryO. said...

Thanks for stopping through and reading, I just started to blogg and it's cool to see other people relate and read my thoughts and experiences. You seem so REAL, I have had that same situation, meeting this guy in a club, the energy and instant magnetism that can flow is crazy... I feel where you are coming from on that.We didn't last long, he got married 4 months later on my birthday... and now 1 year 1/2 later he's divorced. We hung out when he was engaged. And he would tell me he didn't want to get married yet, the wedding was already in the making and he didn't want to cause an upset. Right then I knew dispite how fine he was and all that, a man who doesn't listen to his heart is not the kind of man for me.

NeenaLove said...

ooh girl... that man in the red turtleneck sweater blew my mind. we had so much fun together but i knew he was getting too attached to me. not that i couldn't pursue something with him... i just had something else goin' on in my front yard. ya know?

but i know EXACTLY what you mean!!! can't love a man that isn't true to his heart first. thanks for stopping by and dropping a lil summ in the comments section.

Miriama said... Coreen this is deep well i mean how u wrote it, i can honestly that when the time comes for me i hope i can be brave like you..

Reading it made me feel like i was actually there front row and